My secret teenage diary 1974 August (ii) in which I am sulky and wonder if it's worth working for £2.06p a week.

August 17th (Sat)
I don't talk about Geoff much, do I S came to shop today and we went for coffee at dinner time. She said that she'd had a serious talk with J on the phone. J is going to write to me. Babs is on holiday, Miss Hoodless is okay today. Finished stock-taking. Cold is better, but I've got a cough.

18th
Auntie Emma visited. I retreated to my bedroom to tidy it. Driving practice with dad. It didn't go well. Not sure it will work, dad teaching me. Did some sewing.

19th
A nothing day, but Uncle Joe Taylor (dad's brother) had a stroke and he's in Boundary Park. She came round (Auntie Annie).

20th
Ju phoned and we all went out for a drink up Grains Bar, me, J,  and E. I'm frightened that we are all changing. No-one fitted in like we do at school. Maybe it's just me.

21st (Thur)
did some work for school- (Maths, Biol) not as much as I should have done. Maybe it's me that's changing. Logical.

22nd
Out with G - okay.

24th
Worked at Hardcastle's today. Feel down in the dumps. I'm going through a 'phase' I think. My character maybe changing.

25th (Sun)
Another wasted day. Norma's Phil was round. Uncle Joe is a lot better, I'm glad. Oh, what's wrong with me? Wrote letter to Rob

28th (Wed)
went into town with S and bought little pressy for F. F has finished with her fella and needed cheering up. Trying to round everyone up for a night out. S is going out. J is out with Paul. Me, C and S going out tomorrow.

29th
Went for a drink with C and S. bit miserable. Nice talk though. Glad I went

30th (Fri)
Went to Oldham and bought some material to make a jacket. Black linen. Bit morbid. Norma goes on hol with Phil this weekend. I'm jealous. Out with G.

31st
Worked. Not worth it really for £2.06p, but then I'm a fool. Michelle Hollamby's mum came in shop and recognised me! Went out with G but I was sulky. In an 'everybody hates Jackie' mood.

Paulo Coelho - just abandoned reading ........

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

2/10


I think this is the kind of book that everyone says one should read, and that is why it was on my shelf. Well, I tried. I got to page 25 and then thought 'No. I just don't want any lessons for life at the moment, thank you'.

Young shepherd, travelling and looking for answers meets mystical people who give him clues. Maybe if I'd stuck it out to the end I would have found out the answer to the mysteries of life and happiness and destiny. But no. I'm okay thanks, for the moment.

When I was young, unlike the shepherd, who walks about with his sheep, I used to walk up to Northmoor library and get out the Fairy Books of Andrew Lang (The Yellow Fairy Book, The Blue Fairy Book etc). I worked my way through all the colours diligently and absorbed all the stories of magical happenings, poor fishermen being given three wishes, long journeys to find the hidden meaning of something etc. I enjoyed them, but then I moved on to other reading which usually delivered its messages more subtly.
I can't work out why I want to turn my back on Paulo Coelho's attempt to tell me a tale with a moral. Maybe I need more subtlety.

If I work it out, I'll let you know.

My secret teenage diary 1974 August (i) in which I go shopping a lot and take a foolish risk

Aug 1st (Thur)
Hey, got a bargain today - a maxi pinafore for £1.25 at Finigan's. It's lovely. Last day working at Hardcastle's today (weekdays, that is). That RAF bloke that Babs met on Tuesday met her after work. I told her I'm not going to the Rigby Club dance.

2nd
Last day at Hardcastles (except saturdays). Babs finished with RAF bloke last night. Out with Geoff tonight. he brought me a lovely Cupid back from Scotland. Nice evening.

3rd (Sat)
At work an old lady blessed me and said I'm made her day by smiling at her. That was beautiful. When I got home Norma and Phil were there, also Auntie May, Audrey, Sandra, Andrew etc. It was ok.

4th
Driving lesson with Dad round Bardsley, where it's quiet. I did okay. Out with G in Rochdale. I had to walk home from Oldham and a guy offered me a lift in his car and I accepted. I shouldn't have but he was okay.

5th
Into town with a great big shopping list and some money. Didn't get much. Purse and choccy for mum, knickers and braid for me. Braid to make a watch-band. More driving practice.

6th (Tues)
Did some patchwork and messing about. Ironing, vacuuming. Auntie Elsie came and implied it's time I got married. Wrote to Ju.

7th
Wish I were on holiday. Ju will have got letter today. Wonder what she thinks of it. Went to town for dad to pay mortgage and solicitor. Did yoga with Norma.

9th (Fri)
Went to town today and got a pattern for a trouser suit, some perfume (verbena) and some blue material for a blouse. Out with G at night. Met some friends of his, Barry and Lorraine, ok.

10th
Went to Manchester with G. Pouring down. Finally bought some shoes. Poor G was getting pretty impatient. Don't blame him. We had dinner there. Black shoes with high heels. Help.  At night went out with G and Lorraine and Barry, dancing. Not very good.

11th
G gets nicer all the time but sometimes I hate him. Norma had her handbag pinched - some money, key, cheque book. She's v upset. At a party last night. Auntie May, Uncle Herbert, Allan have been round.

12th
Stocktaking at work. Boring. Barbara gets on my nerves.

13th (Tues)
Got a cold. Norma has a cold too. No word from Julie.

16th
Still poorly with cold. Didn't go to work. Sewed new blouse a bit. Pale blue, long sleeves.

Enid Blyton - just finished reading.....

Third Year at Malory Towers by Enid Blyton

8/10

Of course, one can't judge books from one's childhood by reading  them today.
I think I should probably give this  book 10/10, but, reading it as an adult I can see flaws that I couldn't see as a youngster. The characters are a bit flimsy. They have no depth or subtlety. But Enid Blyton did manage to capture some of the basic troubles and tensions and conflicts and sources of joy, pleasure and comfort that young girls had / have.

In this book we follow our old familiar middle-class friends, Darrell, Gwendoline, Alicia and Sally as they return to school feeling older and wiser. They are joined by a couple of new girls: Zerelda (who is American and glamorous and wants to be a movie actor) and Bill (who brings her horse to school and is obsessed with it).

There are tricks on teachers, jokes, difficulties in friendships and uppity young women are put in their place. Zerelda is made unglamorous and found to be much nicer when she conforms to British boarding school norms. Bill's horse becomes ill and  there is a  big adventure which ends up with someone n the sanitorium.

It has always puzzled me how a working-class girl from a northern industrial town could ever make sense of, or identify with Malory Towers (I read them all avidly, and acted them out with my Bunty cut-out dolls) which was, essentially, a posh public boarding school for girls. But I realise that Enid Blyton must have captured some of the key essences of what it was to be a schoolgirl trying to negotiate your way through relationships and school-work. Maybe my school wasn't that different from Mallory Towers?

Anita Shreve - just finished reading .....

Strange Fits of Passion by Anita Shreve

9/10


Because of the research philosophy that I have adopted in some of my research, I regard truth to be an elusive thing.

Each person sees an incident and then gives an account of it. Each account will be different. Why? Because there is no single truth. Each person sees from a different angle and sees details that another doesn't see, is more alert to some aspects than others. Each person has different motives for what they say. Each person has different perceptions based on who they are, what their lives have been like, what their day has been like. Each person, in the telling of their tale, will tell it differently because of the way they interact with the person they are telling, and also, of course, the audience (the listener) will hear it differently than it was told and will change it when they recount it.

This is really what Anita Shreve's book is about. It is a fascinating multi-voiced account of how a woman comes to kill a man. We try to understand her story from the accounts she gives to a journalist. We try to understand the sense that the journalist makes of her account, and those of witnesses and by-standers. We try to understand how the woman's daughter will attempt to understand the accounts that she receives, years later.

Anita Shreve even makes us look at out relationships and wonder - what is the truth of what is happening here? How much are any of us responsible for situations we find ourselves in?

She situates the story in 1971, when values, laws and the relationships between men and women were seen differently, and so I can't but help think about the recent historic sex-abuse cases that  have been brought by women who say that, as teenagers and girls, they were sexually abused by older men.

Anita Shreve is a brilliant writer who writes deceptively easy stories, which have depths and breadth worth exploring. And all her books are connected in some way, through places and events - though I haven't worked them all out yet.

My secret teenage diary 1974 July (abridged) - in which I think about Nixon, I make a speech and learn to start a car

July 1974

organised by themes, not a timeline


Family
Norma's boyfriend Phil had been staying, so we all drove him back to Morecambe. One Sunday we had a lovely family day at home, me sewing and pottering.

Friends
Ju was ill and off school. When she was better 6 of us went out for an evening at the Yarnspinners. Babs, who I worked with, asked me to go with her to Bailey's night club, where we spent the evening with 2 chaps who chatted us up. I wondered if Geoff would be able to tell, and I felt terrible.

School
I was incredibly busy, it seems to me. Two significant and long-standing teachers, Miss Roker and Mrs Scott were leaving. Wendy and I had to collect money for their leaving presents  and help organise te leaving party and ceremony. We went down Manchester to get Mrs Scott a piece of Royal Doulton pottery. We gave Miss Roker an axe for chopping wood, which she had requested. Miss Roker put on a record of the Oldham Tinkers, and she got one of the lower forms up on stage to recite something. I also seemed to spend a lot of time adding up house points, to work out which house was 'cock house' this year. I was involved in organising the house festival, I gave a speech, and on another day I showed the parents of incoming new girls round the school.

Work
I worked some of my summer holiday. We were busy changing VAT on the stock from 10% to 8%. I was feeling underpaid, comparing my measly £2 with Susan's £3.50.

Hobbies
I bought some yellow cotton and made a blouse, and some black cotton to make a skirt. I wore them both to Bailey's night club.

Also
I got my provisional license and some L plates and dad started to teach me to drive. I found it hard to grasp starting the car.
I started to send for university prospectuses. the first one to arrive in the post was Sheffield.
We had a mouse in our house.

The news
There was talk that President Nixon might be impeached.
Germany won the World Cup.
Mama Cass Elliot died, aged 33 - I was very upset by this. Mamas and Papas Dedicated to the One I love

My secret teenage diary 1974 June (abridged) - in which I had to call the police, and I started being Head Girl.

June 1974
thematically, not chronologically, arranged, except for 1st June which is worth transcribing....

June 1st (Saturday)
A v eventful day. Not v nice day at work. Nasty women. Went home. Everyone nagged me so I ran upstairs crying. Norma comforted me. I love her. I love all my family lots. Then, on way to Geoff's encountered a drunk and a lady who had lost her little boy and wanted us to get the police. We did - quite exciting. I hope she found him.

School
My first month as Head Girl! Wendy became Deputy. Some of the jobs I had to do - collecting money, regularly for charity (I can't recall - did each form have a collection, and then I collated it all?) I noted on June 6th that we only collected £1.86. I also started to sort out the fiction library at school. My biggest problem was sorting  out a disorderly Lower Fifth form, who were causing chaos in the small dining room which I and the prefects had to manage each lunch time. I tackled it by having stern words with the 'ring-leaders'. They came back afterwards and apologised. Phew.
June at school was also, as always, dominated by revision and exams. There were tears, anxiety and panic.

Family
Aunty May gave me some fabric for my quilt. She is so generous and kind. I love her. Mum and dad went on holiday for a week. Geoff came round to visit and I made a meal with fish which was still frozen.

Friends
6 of us went out to the Radcliffe Arms to celebrate Ju's birthday. This month was filled with more friendship angst and serious talks and phone calls.

Shopping
I bought the dress from C&A

My secret teenage diary 1974 May (abridged) - in which love blossomed, friendships were rocky and I became Head Girl!

Oh dear! I have let the transcribing of my secret teenage diary lapse in the past few months. I appear to have neglected May, June and July 1974.
So, here is my attempt to bring us up to date. My 5 year diary, by the way, which my Aunty May bought for me, and which I began writing in 1970, will finish in December 1974.


Here I present my diary entries for May 1974 organised around themes, rather than chronologically. I am, therefore, leaving out a lot of detail, much of which is my moaning with teenage angst, and writing secretively in the Russian alphabet, which I now struggle (thankfully) to read.


May 1974.

Romance
I am still going strong with Geoff, examining whether I am in love. I am wondering how far to go with him (if I could read my Russian script, I might know how far I went!) We seemed to spend most of our time mooching around, or going to Tiffanies in Rochdale.

Friendship
My best and closest friend was Julie, but I was going through a phase where I was troubled by angst and jealousy. I was often grumpy and say rivals in other girls who we hung around with. Some of  us were paired up with boys, introducing new tensions into our network of relationships. I was involved in a sponsored 24hr fast for Oxfam which seemed to be a focus for being jealous and feeling isolated.

Family
I had a row with my dad, because he was proud that I might be nominated to be head girl and he wanted me to be positive, too. I was mortified, though, and filled with angst about this, too. I enjoyed it when Norma came home from college. Aunty Emma came to stay for a few days but I seemed to tolerate her well!

School
We had a nasty chemistry test and exam were looming in June. Nominations were made for the position of Head Girl, and I was in the 5 nominated. Then I was chosen! I wrote a lot in my diary about how I found this agonising and I didn't want to do it. I had to go to see the Headmistress, Miss Crabtree to be congratulated. I was anxious about the whole thing, but I noted that 2 days later, I was coming round to it. I was a bit proud, also. I wondered who would be deputy.

Work
I was still working at Hardcastle's ladies department store on Saturdays. I worked on the stocking counter and made a note in May that I seemed to do nothing but sell support stockings. One day I noted that the till was 99p short and I hoped that no-one thought it was me.

Self-care and shopping
I was trying to do my hair in ringlets, with rags, like my mother used to. I bought a new gorgeous cheesecloth blouse. I noted how expensive the dresses in Miss Selfridge were, and I had a lovely dress put aside fo me in C&A in Manchester. Discovered a new shop - Paperchase - where I could buy lots of Snoopy things.

Hobbies
I started making a patchwork quilt.

Culture
I went, with Geoff, to see The Sting. Also went to see Godspell, which I thought was fantastic, but was resistant to a friend's attempts to convert me to Christianity.

Elizabeth Bowen .. Just abandoned reading...

The Last September by Elizabeth Bowen

1/10


page 33
'High up a bird shrieked and stumbled down through the dark, tearing the leaves. Silence healed, but kept a scar of horror.'

Oh please. Trying too hard to be poetic. I realise she is considered to be a class write, but I have decided life is too short. I'd rather an author just say it like it is. (Yet, I do like words well-written .... -  just not in this book)

Abandoned.

Roisin McAuley ... Just finished reading ...

Finding Home by Roisin McAuley (Audio book)

5/10

I always have an audio book on the go in the car, to help me survive the tedious motorway journey to and from work. Those who have read my reviews before will know that I don't listen to anything too exciting or challenging, in case of losing concentration. I tend to choose non-detective, non-murders, non-thrillers. Also not classical or depressing or philosophical and not too difficult to understand. As you can see this limits me a little. Also, I get my audio-books from the local library which is small and under-funded (I hate this Con-Dem government for starving its people of culture).

So - here I am with Finding Home. This is about two women; the story is told in their voices, first persons singular. Louise is from Northern Ireland, living in England and working for a film production company. They are looking for a 17th century house for their film and she finds just the one! Diane is the upper class woman who lives in said house, with her brother Henry. They have no money to mend the leaking roof and so the offer from the film company is A Good Thing. Especially since Louise thinks Henry is dishy.
The problem is that Louise's brother has been a member of the Irish Republican Army and Henry served as an army intelligence officer in Northern Ireland. Their blossoming romance struggles to over-ride their different political perspectives.
I'm sure you'll realise there is much more to it than this - there are plots and sub-plots, characters (real and part of the film-in-the-making) and mysteries.
Then blow me! Just as I was accepting the story as a gentle romance or two, interwoven, the book turns into a THRILLER!! NOOO! I don't drive to the sound of over-stimulating plots.
I got very heated approaching my motorway turn-off and nearly went twice round a roundabout.

All in all, it was not a great book, but then, I choose this type of book for driving, so that's fine. If I care too much about the characters or the plot, then the audio-book distracts me.

BUT - the main thing that I want to say is this. Often, the main star of an audio-book is not the author but the actor who reads it. Marie McArthy, who read this book, was fantastic! How can someone do such a convincing (to me) Belfast accent and then a posh English one. She was two different people! And then sometimes she was Henry, and John, and Rebecca, and the madman, and Chloe etc. Fab - what skills, to be able to be such different people on one audio-book. Fab.