Hello, welcome to my blog

Mostly you will find, here, transcribed entries from the secret diary that I used to keep as a teenager between 1970 and 1975. I try to be honest with my transcriptions, but, just occasionally I do edit, to protect myself or others from embarrassment or some other emotion.
Also, though, I like to do a brief review of the books I have been reading, so these are interspersed throughout. I reserve the right to write blog entries, also, about other random things.
Why do I keep this blog? I don't know. I am an academic and one of my research interests is around how people construct their own identities. The diary transcriptions, and what I write about my books, are very much about revealing something of my identity.

Friday, 21 January 2011

Just finished reading . . .

'The Crimson Cavalier' (audio book)
by Mary Andrea Clarke

5 out of 10



As you may recall I listen to audio books in my car as I travel up and down the motorways of the North-West, and beyond. In order to avoid accidents I have to listen to light-weight, not-too-exciting, not-too-complex stories, preferably with a happy ending. With these books I positively look forward to facing the rush hour traffic.
Also, you may recall that the choice at my local library is fairly limited - they are mostly thrillers and detectives, and these do not fit my criteria, listed above. So, I am making myself work through the library's collection in alphabetical order. This time I had to choose an author beginning with 'C'.
Mary Andrea Clarke's 'Crimson Cavalier' is a Regency romp and it turned out also to be a who-dunnit. It is about an aristocratic young woman who gets her kicks by dressing up as a highwayman and holding up carriages. Then she has to solve a murder. Then she seems to be falling in love with a tall dark handsome man who we can see will take her in hand and tame her.
I have given it 5 out of 10 because it served its purpose, but I won't especially seek Mary's books out again.

In sharp contrast, I am still reading Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children (hard copy). I have read 2/3 of it. But where is it going?

The good news is that I found 2 good audio-books in an Oxfam shop, so I am now listening to one of them. The author doesn't begin with 'D', so that just shows that I am not ruled by my obsessions. (But I have nipped into the library, so I have a 'D' lined up.)

Saturday, 15 January 2011

My secret diary 1972 January (ii)

Jan 21 - Jan 31st*
On Jan 21st went to Barry Aron's** in Manchester. He fitted a small brace on my bottom teeth. By the way I've finally had my 'fangs' out. I'm glad. Only the jabs hurt, not the actual extraction. Poor old J, she always gets dragged along to the dentist and optician's with me. What a friend to have though, she's great. I hate this brace thing really though, it's ugly and it makes my teeth ache.***
Jan 24th '72 - Put £1 in bank, towards holiday - thrills. I'll try my hardest to pay for my own holiday. It wouldn't be fair for mum and dad to have to pay.# I hope we have nice weather on holiday. I'm making lots of summery clothes. I think I'll take both pairs of jeans, smock & shorts****, brown smock, red skirt and jumper etc
I went to the optician's sometime in January to see if I could have contact lenses. He said I could which was nice, and about 6 weeks later I got them. I guess they suit me more than Norma, she couldn't wear them. I have had to work up - starting from two hours and adding 1 hour every Wednesday. I'm quite used to them now. I don;t really like wearing glasses now. (Would you believe it after 7 or 8 years?)

*Commentary
This is written as a continuous stream over all the pages during this period. I obviously went through a sloppy diary-keeping time. I made a note that I was writing all of this in April 1972, so it is really just an overview, lacking the detail and mundane bits that you get when writing an entry conscientiously every day. AND Dear Reader, I have to confess that entries become very sparse indeed through February, March, to mid-April, when they start again in very small writing, cramming a lot in.
What shall I do to keep you entertained during the gaps? I'll think of something.
** an orthodontist. Mum used to take me on the bus - it was quite a long way, and I remember being very scared. I wonder if there was no-one nearer, or if I needed some special skills that Barry Aron could offer.
*** My mouth was too small to accommodate all my teeth, so I went through a lengthy process of extractions and new braces which gently shifted my teeth into new positions. Is the normal number of teeth 32? I think I ended up with 22.
# It hasn't escaped my notice that last entry I left something out that would put me in a bad light, but here I leave something in that makes me look like a lovely devoted daughter.
****I drew a little arrow here, at a later time, and wrote 'They've got memories!!' I think I can recall why, but we will have to wait and see.

Sunday, 2 January 2011

My secret diary 1972 January (i)

Jan 1 (Sun) Lady's birthday*
Guess I'd sort of better do a general thing up to April 23rd. Nothing dead spectacular though. You know how we (me
Jan 2 - 10
and J) planned to go to France this year? Well that's off because Lorette couldn't find someone for J to exchange with. Difficult to tell anyone at school though, because we made such a big splash about it. The best idea was to try and find some other kind of holiday before we told anyone. So . . we sent up for some Youth Hostelling brochures but the life seemed a bit too energetic for us. (You know us!) My dad suggested going to Butlins so we decided that we'd try and go on a self-catering Butlins holiday. However you can't go if you're single so J's mum is coming, and her sister and brother and we've invited Carol too. It should be fun. We've arranged it all (I'm speaking from May at the moment) and we've worked it out that it'll cost £9 each, not including spending money, food etc. I'll take about £16 / £17 I think. I'm a bit worried about Carol though. She's more energetic than J and me. Starting to collect my clothes and deciding what I'm taking. It's fun talking about it with J and Carol.
Jan 11 - 21
(in this section I embark on a long story about rifts between friends, making stories up, fictitious boys, real boys and jealousy. I'm not going to reproduce it perhaps because it is not just my story, and perhaps because it doesn't show me in a very good light! Sorry, dear reader)

*Commentary
I am 15 at this point in time. My entries for 1971, should you be looking for them, were sparse, and have already been featured.
Jan 1 - Lady was the family dog, black, half cocker spaniel and beautiful. I loved her very much. We had her since I was about 4 or 5. Dad got her to help cure my fear of dogs. He went to Manchester (Tib St pet shops) to get her with Norma. They went on the train and he carried Lady back under his coat so he didn't have to pay the fare. Or at least this is my version of the family version of the story. I'd better check it with my big sister.

Thursday, 30 December 2010

Salman Rushdie - Currently reading . . .

I'm currently reading 'Midnight's Children' by Salman Rushdie. Phew. It's the first one of his books that I've read and I'm having to make myself persevere.
I'm over a third of the way through now, so I'll finish it. It is getting easier, but it has taken me till now to get drawn into the story. I think it's important to work hard to finish it, because it is reckoned to be a great book, and the effort I put in might be repaid. It has felt like work, rather than pleasure, though, up until now.
His story-telling is full of diversions and detail, and references to anticipated future events, and recollections of past events so that it can take several pages to tell of one small incident. When you are reading a book do you ever think you might be a bit dumb, or incompetent, if you are finding it difficult? I do. But then, when I am marking students' essays, or reviewing papers, if I find myself having difficulty understanding them, I have to decide whether it is their writing style, or my inability to process what they are writing. Maybe sometimes there is just a mismatch between style and preferred style.
Never mind Salman. I will persevere. I think I am learning to appreciate you.
Only another 412 pages to go.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

My secret diary 1970 December (ii)

Dec 17 Thurs
So happy for Miss Hatch*. We (the form) bought her a perfume spray, Kleenex tissue holder and big card. She wanted to cry.
Dec 18
Went to Manchester yesterday with J. Got Shirley a writing set 5/- for Xmas. Got Norma 'Lancashire Hotch-Potch' 7/6 today. Got dad some anti-mist.
Dec 19 Sat
Down to Birmingham to pick up Norma. Mrs Essen's nice. Tired all day. Visited by Auntie May, Elsie, Caroline and Allan.
Dec 20 Sun
Caught *
Dec 21 Mon
Never been so ashamed - I actually gave up writing my diary for months. Be patient. I'm writing this on 24th April 1971.
Dec 22
Did I have a nice Xmas? Yes I think so. Norma was ill again.
Dec 23
Got midi coat for Xmas. Norma bought ne a fantastic little handbag.
Dec 24 Thur
I quite like Xmas. Hapy. Full of luv and feeling I wish I had a boyfriend.
Dec 25
Blank
Dec 26
Blank
Dec 27
(To hell with L.S. she hates me and I hate her) AT* Full of Xmas spirit aren't we?
Dec 28 & 29
blank
Dec 30 Wed
Goodbye 1970. Funny year. More permissive, more wars, more grief, more strikes, more love discovery, more
Dec 31
moon missions. For me personally, more understanding, more laziness, definitely a more year.

*Commentary
Dec 17 - Miss Hatch was our Russian teacher. Was she also our form teacher at this point? If not, why did we get her a present? She made me want to cry often enough - she was a very scary woman!
Dec 20 - don't ask me why I wrote the single word 'caught'!
Dec 27 AT = afterthought

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Joanna Trollope - Just finished reading . . .

The Spanish Lover by Joanna Trollope

4 out of 10



I think I read a Joanna Trollope once, in favourable circumstances - 'The Choir', read whilst trying to relax on the narrowboat. It was very enjoyable, and so I keep on picking her up in charity shops, hoping for a re-run. Nope. Not going to happen.
Why would I want to read about these people? One of the heroines (the other is her twin) gets very down and depressed because the bank calls in her and her husband's astronomic loan, and they have to move to a smaller house (the old one was called The Grange) and she has to get a depressingly menial job in the office of a private girls' school, and her husband kisses the drippy woman who assists him in their posh gift-shop business, because he feels insecure. Meanwhile the other twin gets a Spanish Lover. And a baby. And a dreamy, fulfilled smile.
No.
I've had a bad run of books.
Now, in my bag I have Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children, and another book which is a novel which pretends to be Pride and Prejudice, written from Mr Darcy's point of view. Which shall it be?

Monday, 6 December 2010

Just abandoned . . .

Venus Envy by Louise Bagshaw

0 out of 10

I got this out of the library (an audio-book) because I am making myself work through the alphabet (so next time I will have to get an author beginning with C)- I like to live dangerously.
As I have explained I aim to get audio-books that are not too challenging to read in heavy traffic (and snow blizzards, fog and ice, at the moment). Well - we could never call this a challenging book. Nor is it entertaining. Nor amusing. I don't know what page I've abandoned it on, because it is audio, but I only got to track 12, Disc 1, because I was stuck in a traffic jam.
A bit like Brigitte Jones, but not amusing at all.
I don't want to draw any parallels with anything else I have read. Oh - I suppose, like Jane Austen's Lady Susan (the letter A), it is about women trying to catch men.