My secret diary July 1973 (iii) Dover, Calais, France and Spain

July 27th (Fri)
Went to Barry Aron's - new brace, only have to wear this at night lot of sewing. Pack tomorrow.

July 28th
At last set off! Quite exciting! Finished dresses in morning. Ok. Set off about 11 o'clock (pm) - late. Me and Ju, Ju's mum and dad, Richard in one car. Uncle Alan, Margaret, Jacqueline and Alison and Kathy in the other + caravan + trailer. Turned back to Ju's twice to get things that had been forgotten (Ju and I kept laughing). Drove through night.

July 29th (Sun)
Crossed over from Dover to Calais. Beautiful standing on front of boat with breeze and sea - early morning. Spent day driving through France. Lovely. Stopped for tea every now and then

July 30th
Still driving through France - behind with diary so can't remember details. stopped at various parking places etc - I like France but the people didn't seem friendly (remember woman in toilets!!). Slept night at place with no loos.

July 31st
Crossed France/Spain border. Stopped in cafe. Nice friendly waiters etc. Tried Sangria - drink made of red wine, cognac and fruit. Gorgeous!. Arrived at Camping Giverola Pola. Put caravan on plot 27 because arrived a day early. We all went out. I got tipsy off sangria and whisky

My secret diary 1973 July (ii) A lot of sewing going on.

July 16th
No entry

July 17th (Tue)
Don't feel like writing today. Went to see Fantasia - Walt Disney and symphonies - beautiful. Julie couldn't come.

July 18th
Broke up from school. Went to Tiffany's in Rochdale* with Ju, Suzanne, Cn and 2 others. Q good. Not enough fellas. Very, very, very tired.

July 19th (Thur)
Are me and Ju falling out of friendship? Went up town with mum. Bought some best pants - blue from C&A. Got passport. Da-da!!

July 20th
Thank Snoopy I've got somewhere to retreat to when mum gets on my nerves. If I hear one more word of warning about Spain* and bloody Spaniards - I'll scream. What's wrong? Don't they trust me**? I'm sick. I'm worried that Ju and me won't get on. Bought some material today.

July 21st
Spent all day getting ready for hols - go on 28th. Been making blouse. Nearly finished. French have dropped a test nuclear bomb. Pigs.

July 22nd (Sun)
Nowt to sy but in a bad mood 'cos tired. Been sewing. Finished blouse. Onto a dress now.

July 23rd
Been sewing and shopping all day. Bye bye

July 24th
Been sewing all day and good news! I think me and Ju will be friends really. I hope so!!

July 25th (Wed)
Got lilo off Susan Greenwood for hols. Went shopping with S and Ju. Bought sandals and cardigan. White. Dinner at Julie's. Sewing. Peter Hadfield came. She's seeing him tonight. Ok.

July 25th 
Nothing much to say - again busy preparing for the holidays - a bit nervous, not excited.


*Commentary
July 18 - Tiffany's was a night club
July 20 - I don't think that my diary has previously mentioned that Ju and I were going on a big post-'O' level holiday, with Ju's mum and dad, her aunty and uncle and sister and brother and cousins. We were going camping in Spain, and I would be away from home for about a month! It was a fantastic opportunity for a holiday. I had never been abroad before. ** Poor mum. Like all mothers of teenagers she was trying to protect me by warning me of the dangers out there. Like all teenagers I thought I knew everything. Like all mums she only knew the bits about me that I allowed her to know. Like all teenagers I rejected the protection and advice that I clearly did need. Mum's warnings about Spanish men seemed a world apart from my close encounter with an English man the week before. I heeded the advice of Cathy and Claire in 'Jackie' magazine more than I listened to mum.

Kazuo Ishiguro - Just finished reading ....

Never Let Me Go (2010) by Kazuo Ishiguro


9.5/10

If you haven't read this book I think you should. On the face of it, it is about a slightly alternative world where some schools are set aside for the raising of a community of 'donors'. I don't want to give too much away, in case you read it, but these are special young people who will not live the same live as normal people. It is a slow book, and so I was frustrated sometimes, but I think it had to be slow because we had to immerse ourselves in their upbringing and their personalities and the minutiae of their daily lives - all the better to be hit by what their futures would be like.
I pondered such things as - do I like Ruth? What is it with Tommy? Do I like Kathy? Are these people normal - why can't I connect with them - is it the fault of the author, or is it the brilliance of the author?

The end is shocking. What is worse, I was shocked and saddened as I read the end of the book, because I thought I understood it. But the next day, as I was thinking about it, a wave of depression and despondency struck me, as I began to understand the bigger relevance of the book: its meaning for me and its implications about the meaning of life. At the most depressing moment of my thinking I had an insight that, perhaps, all our education, culture, friendships and sports etc, are just amusements to occupy us till we die. Puts a new perspective on being an occupational therapist.

Sorry - I am inclined towards a depressive way of thinking sometimes, so I am also skilled at shaking it off, switching on the positive thoughts and getting on with life. So - Kazuo - you had a big impact, but please don't do it again.

My secret diary 1973 July (i) Interesting times, but not at school.

July 1 - 3
No entries

July 4th (Wed)
Going to Baileys* tonight. From work* I went home to get a few things and then walked back to Ju's.
**see below

July 5th
Work is ok but boring. Very boring.

July 6th
Well, finished work at the hospital. Doris was sad to see us go I think. Don't think Emily was bothered.

July 7th (Sat)
Mum and dad were annoyed because of the time I arrived home last night (this morning). Went to town and bought a bikini. Went to Ju's at night because Norma's in Brum and mum and dad are going out.

July 8th
Behind with diary. Week before last Ju stayed here while ma and pa went away and week after I stayed at Ju's. Got £40 from hospital job. Back to school tomorrow. Worried in case M comes to our house.

July 9th (Mon)
Ah well, back at school. Done nothing all day, just being given books and mucking around. Miss Rogerson told us about film theatre - pretty good, yeah? Nervous about M. Got passport photos.

July 10th
Another tremendously exciting day at school. Done nowt. Except in Russian where we read poetry. Julie skived off school - just like that! Bored!! Oh, and saw swimming pool for the first time. Pretty nice*

July 11th (Wed)
Ye gods! another boring day at school - just nothing to say really. Ju went to see Ruth, student who we met at the hospital, last night. She's coming with us to the folk night on Thursday. Suzanne and Danielle (Belgian) are coming too.

July 12th
Another wonderful day at school! Would you believe there were 2 people in the geography lesson?! Russian was terrible. Miss Hatch is still rotten to us. Went to Royton Catholic Club with Ju and Ruth - it was an Irish night - pretty good.

July 13th
Arts Festival Day at school. Suzanne brought Danielle (Belgian girl) to school. She must think we're nuts - mannequin parades, discos, exhibitions of painting and models etc. She's a really nice person to get on with. Want to cry. Felt quiet and mum said I was being snobbish.

July 14th (Sat)
Went to degree ceremony at Brum University. Norma Taylor BSc. Boring but I felt so proud of my Norma. Met her Welsh friend Mags. Went to dance at Tame Valley Tennis Club. No good.

July 15th 
Ju and Suzanne slept last night. Came home at midnight. This morning me and Norma went to a warehouse to look at record-players for £7 - had none in - go next week. Oh! What can I do to be independent? My family (except Norm and dog) get on my nerves.


*Commentary
July 4 - Baileys was a nightclub that had recently opened in Oldham. Julie and I both had jobs in the laundry at the main Oldham General Hospital for a week or two. Very hot, hard work, hard on the hands. I recall that we had to wear white cotton gloves to handle the hot sheets as they came through the pressing rollers, but they burnt through quickly.
July 10 - every pupil in the school had helped raise money for the building of this pool.

**Extra Different Commentary
Dear reader. 2 things of import happened on 4th July 1973.
(1) I had a letter from my ex-boyfriend Rob, asking me to go back with him. The letter is still tucked into my diary. I didn't go back to him.
(2) I got chatted up by an older man as I was walking down the road. This had very unpleasant consequences and ended up with me nearly being raped a few days later. I'm not going to transcribe the bits in the diary relating to it because I am very embarrassed at the naivety of my young self, and the lack of discrimination that I showed (I know I shouldn't be). Funnily, whether because of my age, or the era I lived in, I didn't recognise it as attempted rape at the time, in fact I seemed to have just carried on reporting normal things in my diary. That truth only occurred to me many years later when I was telling someone about it. And attempted rape it was, for sure.

Anita Shreve - Just finished reading

Sea Glass by Anita Shreve
10/10

I think this is a perfect modern novel. I don't think I can class it as a great book. It isn't a Dickens. Nor is it a Wolf Hall. But it was a perfect read.
Each chapter was based around one of the 5 or 6 key characters as they moved through the unfolding story. Anita Shreve is very good at providing a quiet, understated backdrop, rich in detail, for the drama that emerges, sometimes shockingly. She is also good at giving a feel for an era.
Here we are taken to America, just as the depression of the 1930s is beginning, but our characters don't know that. People wonder about their futures; people can't imagine their futures; people take risks; people have hope, or worries. And then the market crashes.
It is about relationships, love, the gulf between classes in America. It is also about Marxist politics and state collusion with capitalist industrialists.
And, most importantly, it is about finding value and beauty in pieces of old glass flung up amongst the detritus on a beach.
I like it that Anita Shreve's novels are all linked to each other, often through a particular house on this particular beach, at different points in its history.
Well satisfied.

But now I must read a book by a male author, as I am trying to do girl-boy-girl-boy!

My secret diary 1973 June (ii) Exams end and laundry-work begins

June 16 Sat
Auntie May's welcome home party - you can imagine what it was like. Beautiful weather, been sunbathing. Marion and kids were there. Great to see Auntie May. Mum and Auntie Emma had a row!!

June 17
Good grief! I've just seen a gang of Teddy Boys walking down the street! Teddy Boys - I ask you! Spent today in the car when I should have been revising for exams. Took Auntie Emma back home*, and Auntie May came too

June 18
Rats!* I feel rotten. I've not felt particularly bad during these exams but this damned geography is getting me down and mum keeps moaning. They're going on holiday next week and I'm at home with Ju and dog. Me and Ju are going to work at Boundary Park*.

June 19
At last Geog's over with. Not too bad. Me and Ju working at Boundary Laundry tomorrow.Mum and dad going on holiday and Ju's staying at our house - should be fun. Been gathering Julie's present up. Got her joss sticks, tights, nougat bar, necklace. Plan to get her a record.

June 20
Went to get National Insurance card with Julie. Went to library. When she had gone I bought her present - David Bowie's
Drive in Saturday
Also got her a candle and some wrapping paper. That's all! Done a lot of biol revision, hardly any Russ.

June 21 (Thurs)
Had biol and Russ exams - not too bad - quite satisfied. Only got Russ left tomorrow. Went to see film with Ju and S at ABC 'That'll be the Day' with Ringo and David Essex. Film about teddy boys in the 1950s and things. Great! A bit 'cough-cough'* but good.

June 22
Last exam! Russ - not too bad. Hey - guess who phoned? Terry! While I was at school. He said he's phone later. He hasn't yet. Me and Ju and Andrea went to Catholic club - okay.

June 23 Sat
First day of freedom. What did I do today? Oh - went up town with SQ - she bought Ju some dangly ear-rings. Also I bought some sticky stars, all different colours -see front of diary. To stick on my arms and face and other places. I'm not worried about 'O' level results yet. Feel v tired. mum and dad go away tomorrow.

June 24  Ju's birthday.
(no entry made)

June 25
Got a letter from Rob. Made me cry. Don't know what to do. He wants me to go back with him - hell -

June 26
Tired and bored. What to do about Terry?

June 27 - 30
(no entries)*


* Commentary
June 17 - Emma live outside of Sheffield. I loved that fantastic drive over the Isle of Skye road, across the moors, high up, with just grass, no trees, bleak.
June 18 - if you are familiar with the Peanuts cartoon, you'll spot me adopting the language of Charlie Brown, Snoopy and co. Boundary Park was the local name for our local hospital.
June 21 - I think 'a bit cough-cough' was our way of saying it had scenes of a sexual nature!
June 27 - I suspect that working in a hospital laundry sapped my energy!

My secret diary 1973 June (i) waiting by the telephone & 'O' levels arrive

June 1
You know, Terry is something different - I think it's because he's Irish and mature and experienced. I like older fellas! I phoned Ju and then phoned him. He lives in a flat with three other fellas. Couldn't tell what he was saying half the time, the line was crackly. Been very tired. Didn't get in 2 this morning. He wants me to go over to see him at his place.

June 2 Sat
Oh I hate myself. Keep trying to do revision but my mind won't take it. Oh I'm too tired to write much. I'm excited about Terry. He's an experience that mustn't be missed. All the fun of the fair. Told Ju about him.

June 3
God, I've been nervous all day, with butterflies in my stomach, don't know whether that's about exams or because Terry said he'd phone - he didn't. I told mum he might phone - she's been giving me pitying looks all day. Could be he's lost, or got the wrong phone number. Could be he didn't want to ring or he forgot. Don't know whether to phone him or not now.

June 4
He still didn't phone today. SQ phoned. I told her about him. She's going out with that Geoff from the Parochial. I'm not so bothered today, although I would like him to phone. Norma came home. Got an exam tomorrow. Eng Lang. It still hasn't struck me. Oh Terry!

June 5 (Tues)
Well, Eng Lang over with at last. Maths next, on Friday. Eng Lang not bad, in fact ok. Got some joss sticks - beautiful. Got some for Julie's birthday too. Terry's not phoned. Ju says I should phone him. Norma says I shouldn't. What the hell should I do?

June 6
revised

June 7
Went to SQ's with Julie and did some maths revision. and some talking - too much - I feel frightened now. I phoned Terry!! From a phone box on the way home, after consulting Ju and S. He sounded a bit funny but nice later on. He's asked me to go to a dance at the college tomorrow night. To go or not to go?!

June 8 (Fri)
I'm in bed early. 9 o'clock. I need it. Had Maths I this morning - not too bad. terry phoned - can't decide whether he was trying to put me off going to the dance or not - but I'm not going - I can't get back from Rochdale. Went to dentist's. I met Miss Gartside* on the way there and had a nice talk to her. Sunny.

June 9 Sat
Oh gee whizz. Such a beautiful programme on the radio this morning with this fella playing all the old rock and roll records - Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, Jerry Lewis etc. Great! Me and Norma loved it. Stella came yesterday - got me a Saturday job, starts in September. Not done as much revision as I should.

June 10
Nothing but revision

June 11
Eng Lit - rotten
Revision

June 12 Tues
Revision - not as bad as I expected. Revision. So tired.

June 13
Maths + Geog. Maths not bad. Geog rotten.
Revision and Bob Dylan on radio

June 14
Chemistry was horrible. The worst exam we've had. Loads of calculations (inc 2 on B section) - hope I've not failed. No organic. No industrial, no chlorine. Frightened*. Made nightie out of dad's shirt.

June 15 (Fri)
Beautiful weather. Sunbathed, revised, made halter neck top - v revealing!! Planted in garden. Done a lot. Feel v tired. Auntie May's home tomorrow.*

*Commentary
June 8 - Miss Gartside was our Religious Education teacher. She seemed quite old, as I recall. With soft round cheeks, and grey hair in a soft bun on top of her head, with a lot of kirby grips. She smiled a lot and was very gentle. She was also responsible for teaching us to write in italics. Julie excelled at this, and I didn't! We had special dip-in ink pens, with ink-wells.
June 14 - these were the days when we were assessed solely on exam performance - no course work at all.
June 15 - Auntie May was my favourite auntie. One of her sons had emigrated to South Africa, and had a family over there. I think Auntie May went over twice in her life, to see him. This was her first visit (with her husband, Uncle Herbert). Now, looking back, I don't know how they afforded the trip.