My secret diary 1970 April (ii)

April 16 Thurs
Apollo critical. Dead worried. Been trying to think of picture for Art competition. Title: 'Friendship between children round the world' Aw.
April 17
Made cake in cookery. Worried about them girls, but they didn't touch us (or see us). Apollo down safely! At exactly 7.07.45 hrs. Splashdown 5 secs late.
April 18 Sat
Great fuss because Mr Ashton was coming. Didn't help dad with garden because of bath. Went up town, great feeling. Beautiful. Love Rare Birds' record .
April 19
Did homework. Got up late. Norma and her dress! Helped her. Used microscope. Looked at fly. Ugh. Poor thing. Paper hankie too.
April 20
Gave Moira tapes for Red Baron. Disgusting things on television. What are adults doing to this world?
April 21 Tues
I was in a bad mood, but later got better. Fed up of new R.I. teacher. She's called Mrs Arrowsmith. Headaches. Every day. Did no homework hardly.
April 22
Wrote letter to Lorette. Nice day. Rained. Played tennis in rain. Ashamed of racquet. Headaches!. Lost temper.
April 23
DISGUSTED with my school! Searched through our pockets without us knowing, just for a lost purse! Kept us out in the pouring rain. Got a cold now.
April 24 Fri
Thank goodness. Last day of school! Feel depressed. Disgusted by the ignorance of so many people. Geography. Someone pinched some of cookery.
April 25 Sat
Thought it would be good at SG's party. Not very. Met girl who walked down with me. Thought I was 16.
April 26
Great George Best change!!! Wrote letter to Shirl. Went out with Dad and Norma in car, looking for nursery. Sick of so much homework.
April 27 Mon
Had skin test for TB jab. Dead frightened but didn't hurt. Mum posted letter to Shirl. Not much to say. Rosalind Stretch ex girl of Hulme. Great honour.
April 28
Skin test jab disappeared. Means I'll have to have TB jab. (probably).
April 29
Art teacher got deep at us. She knows how we feel, but doesn't do anything about it. Went up town with J. Miss Hatch was there.
April 30
"The day of days!!" We had TB jabs. UGH. The pain was horrible when he pushed stuff in. Was in blister but went down. Didn't hurt J.

Commentary
The Rare Birds' record was Sympathy. I know this because I listed all my favourite music at the front of my diary.
I have to reflect here on the microscope and Apollo 13. Was it normal for a 13 year old girl to have these interests in 1970? I suspect not. I recall that Norma and I got birthday and presents such as chemistry sets, Meccano and this miniature microscope. Dad didn't want to have boys. But he did want his girls to be educated and to love science. His own education had been curtailed at the age of 14 by poverty. He had the offer of a place at a grammar school but he had to go out to work. I'm sure we got girly presents too, influenced by mum. But - I ended up doing sciences at A level, a degree in Biological Sciences, and now I do research. I wonder what the paper hankie looked like under the microscope?
When, on April 22, I say I was ashamed of my tennis racquet, this makes me remember that I spent much of my time being ashamed of things. How much of this was adolescent feelings? But I was at a grant-maintained grammar school. A lot of the other girls were fee-paying and came from families who had more money than we did. Whilst their indoor sandals were Clarks (or maybe even better!) mine were from Oldham Market. My racquet was old, second hand, heavy and wooden, with one or two loose strings. The garden that I go on about so much was about 3 foot by 6 foot.
As I typed up April 28 just now, picturing myself getting up in the morning and checking my arm, I felt a sudden concern that I might be betraying the secret thoughts of the teenage me. I wrote the diary wanting it to be private. Now, adult Jackie is publishing it for all to see. Is it possible to betray one's young, past, self?