Hello, welcome to my blog

Mostly you will find, here, transcribed entries from the secret diary that I used to keep as a teenager between 1970 and 1975. I try to be honest with my transcriptions, but, just occasionally I do edit, to protect myself or others from embarrassment or some other emotion.
Also, though, I like to do a brief review of the books I have been reading, so these are interspersed throughout. I reserve the right to write blog entries, also, about other random things.
Why do I keep this blog? I don't know. I am an academic and one of my research interests is around how people construct their own identities. The diary transcriptions, and what I write about my books, are very much about revealing something of my identity.

Monday, 17 November 2014

My secret teenage diary 1974 November (i) - in which my career in speaking to audiences begins, we have a dance and I struggle with my parents

1st (Fri)
Fed up. Go back to school on Monday - I'm nervous about Speech day. I don;t even like to think about it. Dad won't do speech. Ju came for dinner, we did some maths and talked a lot. SG phoned up. Said he's got girl trouble and wants my advice. Went on pub crawl with G. He said he's been jealous.

2nd
Worked at Hardcastles. Boring. Got pay rise - £3.22 now - not bad. I went to Rochdale and an Italian man tried to chat me up on the bus!

3rd
Behind with diary and I hate catching up. Going to get a new diary next year. Been upset today 'cos dad says he won't do speech. Am I being selfish? Yes!

4th (Mon)
Another 6th form committee meeting. SG brought American Pie for me to borrow. Lovely! Got round dad a little bit. I do so want him to speak. Very tired and nervous.

5th
I'm getting a bit nervous about the dance now. Hope nowt goes wrong. SG phoned - wanted advice about various things - didn't get it. My crush has died down a bit now. Mum ill. Dad not too well I'm miserable  Lady ill.

6th (wed)
I might be the head of the crocodile in the panto - whippee! Sellin poppies at school. Feeling happy, unusually.

7th
I'm frightened. I sometimes think that I'm insane. One minute I'm up and happy, the next minute I'm down for  hardly any reason. I was happy, all was fine - I've won a bequest prize at school - came home, proudly told mum and dad - they asked me how much it was, jokingly, then they started talking about something else. Made me cry.

8th
Our dance tonight at Chadd Town Hall. G didn't come. It was a great success. I fancied S all night but behaved. T was drunk on vodka - we had a great time. All my friends. I missed G though. Nasty  incident with Mrs Stanton and one of my class mates. Hell

9th (Sat)
Normal day at Hardcastles. Miss Hoodless is back and Barbara is back to her normal sulky self. I'm on top of the world about the dance and everything in the garden's rosy.

10th
Weird times - people change. Me, Ju and S all going steady, E too. - it's frightening. People sending off for  universities. I'm scared of life. I love G.

11th
Normal day at school. Sick of the bloody Speech Day rehearsals. At last dad has written to Miss Crabtree to say he'll do the speech and I feel like a prize cow for making him. Bought E a birthday present - paper and calendar - nice.

12th (Tue)
Getting very, very nervous about Speech day tomorrow. We wrote dad's speech tonight and I've been practicing mine. I'm nervous. Dance got a write-up in the paper last night. Phoned SG to tell him.

13th
Oh well. The BIG DAY has come and gone - speech day, that is. I did okay, too. I think dad was very very nervous but he did all right. I got congratulated all round and everyone was very nice. Just one thing - Miss Crabtree says she wants to see me tomorrow morning. What the hell for?

14th
People were really nice, congratulating me about my speech. Im so proud! Crabtree only wanted to see me about Speech Day holiday. I think my crush on S is dying down a bit now. He annoys me sometimes. Had another meeting about an Xmas dance.

15th
Suffering from bad depressions just recently. Today not too bad really. Fell on the way to catch the 409 bus to meet G and grazed my chin and knee. I love G lots. He's silly like m, but I'm sacred of hurting him.

16th (Sat)
A woman in Hardcastles thought I called her 'fat bottom' today - it was hilarious! But I was talking to my friend. In a giddy mood with G, but then got depressed and upset him

17th
Nothing. Boring day.




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