This is a transcription of the very last 2 weeks in my 5 year diary, which I kept from January 1970 to December 1974, from when I was 13 years old to when I was 18. Such significant years for a girl growing up!
My diary has been about my every-day school life, my family relationships, my friendships, dealing with conflicts, a growing awareness of politics, boyfriends and starting to enter the world of work. Of course it has been about much more than this. It has also been about making observations about events that I didn't fully appreciate the meaning of at the time, it was about grappling with my emotional turmoil. It was about being a drama queen and starting to understand that I wasn't the centre of everyone's life. It was about growing up - a working class girl in a changing world.
But here is the most important thing. The strong central core that ran right through the centre of all my diary entries was my friendship with Julie. As my facebook friend, now that we are in our late 50s, she has always been there to read and comment on my transcribed diary entries, which provided a commentary on our teenage years. Sometimes she commented publicly and sometimes privately. I checked with her about sensitive issues coming up. She knew that I sometimes edited when I was transcribing our arguments, or my jealousies.
And now, before the final diary entry, Julie has died, and a piece of my heart and my self has been lost.
How can my self, my identity, my memories or my thoughts be the same now that someone who has been intertwined with me since 1968 has gone?
I dedicate this entry, and, indeed, my diary-blog, to Julie Williamson (nee Hurdus), who died on 14.12.14.
December 17 (Tue)
Julie wasn't at school again - poor old thing. My eyes are feeling sore and I have a headache - maybe it's the pill? I started doing the house points and I practiced reading for the Carol Service. Sick of school and depressed.
Dec 18
Carol Service. Had to read, but apart from that nice. Hee. I'm a little tipsy. Ju phoned had a long deep talk about what's going on. Glad.
Dec 19 (Thur)
Broke up from school at last. Dance at night-time (6th form) I was jealous like mad when I saw that X and Y fancied Julie. Never mind. Got a Christmas kiss from X. Not a very good kisser, not as good as my G. Someone pinched my purse.
Dec 20th
Annoyed about my purse. Some money in it, keys etc. I was a bit drunk last night. Phoned police about purse, but AW found it - good! Me and Ju went to Yarnspinners for drinks. Nice night.
Dec 21 (Sat)
Hardcastles. Normal but busy. Only 4 days to Christmas! Keep getting headaches. Think it's the pill. Got purse back. Saw Geoff. Went for drink with Barry and Lorraine. I was bored stiff and cried with G. He's so kind.
Dec 22nd
Worried because mum and dad will be alone for Xmas. Hope they go to Aunty Emma's. Went carol-singing at Oldham Boundary Park Hospital. OK - a bit unsettling. Then went to Yarnspinners, where it was great, then tried to get into Baileys with G, Lindsey and Mark, but didn't get in, so went back to pub.
Dec 23rd
Xmas shopping today - yuck - but q happy in Oldham. Got Norma a locket, mum a jumper, dad a record. G - well only half got. Saw The Graduate on TV.
Dec 24th
Xmas Eve and we went out with Barry and Lorraine. I set off determined to enjoy myself. I did. Mum was upset about me leaving them for Xmas, I think - but I didn't know what to do. Joan is in hospital with appendicitis.
Dec 25th
Yeah! Xmas day gets to be more of a disappointment every year. I wish I'd stayed at home really. I felt guilty about mum and dad. All they do at Geoff's is watch TV and eat. There was a party at night which was ok.
Dec 26th
Went back to my house after a lovely meal with all trimmings. Listened to records and then he went home. Ju phoned to say she is going to Yarnspinners with X and pals. Wish I were going.
Dec 27th (Fri)
Always wishing I was doing what other people are doing. Mad with Ju for going out so much without me! Stop being so stupid and see some sense. In a bad mood.
Dec 28th
Oh - excitement at Hardcastles - United played Latics today in Oldham. Latics won, so Utd fans went on rampage through Oldham and broke Hardcastes window. We were sent home early. Out with G.
Dec 29th
Got G Neil Young's 'Harvest' - nice. He was pleased. Oh, I love him. Spent today sewing and reading and listening to records. Did I say I've got an interview at Birmingham University? Doesn't time fly?
Dec 30th (Mon)
A day of nothing. In fact a waste. Keep wanting G. Ju phoned. She's visited P. She was strange. Upset?
Dec 31st
Well, that's 5 years over and done with. God, doesn't time fly? If 1970 was a MORE year, this has been a LESS year. We've had shortages - less sugar, less bread, less friendliness. There was Nixon and Watergate, the 3 day week - oh - a hell of a lot. Bye Bye 1974. Jackie x.
My diary has been about my every-day school life, my family relationships, my friendships, dealing with conflicts, a growing awareness of politics, boyfriends and starting to enter the world of work. Of course it has been about much more than this. It has also been about making observations about events that I didn't fully appreciate the meaning of at the time, it was about grappling with my emotional turmoil. It was about being a drama queen and starting to understand that I wasn't the centre of everyone's life. It was about growing up - a working class girl in a changing world.
But here is the most important thing. The strong central core that ran right through the centre of all my diary entries was my friendship with Julie. As my facebook friend, now that we are in our late 50s, she has always been there to read and comment on my transcribed diary entries, which provided a commentary on our teenage years. Sometimes she commented publicly and sometimes privately. I checked with her about sensitive issues coming up. She knew that I sometimes edited when I was transcribing our arguments, or my jealousies.
And now, before the final diary entry, Julie has died, and a piece of my heart and my self has been lost.
How can my self, my identity, my memories or my thoughts be the same now that someone who has been intertwined with me since 1968 has gone?
I dedicate this entry, and, indeed, my diary-blog, to Julie Williamson (nee Hurdus), who died on 14.12.14.
December 17 (Tue)
Julie wasn't at school again - poor old thing. My eyes are feeling sore and I have a headache - maybe it's the pill? I started doing the house points and I practiced reading for the Carol Service. Sick of school and depressed.
Dec 18
Carol Service. Had to read, but apart from that nice. Hee. I'm a little tipsy. Ju phoned had a long deep talk about what's going on. Glad.
Dec 19 (Thur)
Broke up from school at last. Dance at night-time (6th form) I was jealous like mad when I saw that X and Y fancied Julie. Never mind. Got a Christmas kiss from X. Not a very good kisser, not as good as my G. Someone pinched my purse.
Dec 20th
Annoyed about my purse. Some money in it, keys etc. I was a bit drunk last night. Phoned police about purse, but AW found it - good! Me and Ju went to Yarnspinners for drinks. Nice night.
Dec 21 (Sat)
Hardcastles. Normal but busy. Only 4 days to Christmas! Keep getting headaches. Think it's the pill. Got purse back. Saw Geoff. Went for drink with Barry and Lorraine. I was bored stiff and cried with G. He's so kind.
Dec 22nd
Worried because mum and dad will be alone for Xmas. Hope they go to Aunty Emma's. Went carol-singing at Oldham Boundary Park Hospital. OK - a bit unsettling. Then went to Yarnspinners, where it was great, then tried to get into Baileys with G, Lindsey and Mark, but didn't get in, so went back to pub.
Dec 23rd
Xmas shopping today - yuck - but q happy in Oldham. Got Norma a locket, mum a jumper, dad a record. G - well only half got. Saw The Graduate on TV.
Dec 24th
Xmas Eve and we went out with Barry and Lorraine. I set off determined to enjoy myself. I did. Mum was upset about me leaving them for Xmas, I think - but I didn't know what to do. Joan is in hospital with appendicitis.
Dec 25th
Yeah! Xmas day gets to be more of a disappointment every year. I wish I'd stayed at home really. I felt guilty about mum and dad. All they do at Geoff's is watch TV and eat. There was a party at night which was ok.
Dec 26th
Went back to my house after a lovely meal with all trimmings. Listened to records and then he went home. Ju phoned to say she is going to Yarnspinners with X and pals. Wish I were going.
Dec 27th (Fri)
Always wishing I was doing what other people are doing. Mad with Ju for going out so much without me! Stop being so stupid and see some sense. In a bad mood.
Dec 28th
Oh - excitement at Hardcastles - United played Latics today in Oldham. Latics won, so Utd fans went on rampage through Oldham and broke Hardcastes window. We were sent home early. Out with G.
Dec 29th
Got G Neil Young's 'Harvest' - nice. He was pleased. Oh, I love him. Spent today sewing and reading and listening to records. Did I say I've got an interview at Birmingham University? Doesn't time fly?
Dec 30th (Mon)
A day of nothing. In fact a waste. Keep wanting G. Ju phoned. She's visited P. She was strange. Upset?
Dec 31st
Well, that's 5 years over and done with. God, doesn't time fly? If 1970 was a MORE year, this has been a LESS year. We've had shortages - less sugar, less bread, less friendliness. There was Nixon and Watergate, the 3 day week - oh - a hell of a lot. Bye Bye 1974. Jackie x.
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