My secret teenage diary 1974 October (ii) - in which I was very miserable, developed a new love interest and had a nice birthday.

16th (Wed)
Better at school - sorted out panto a bit - doing Peter Pan. I'm in an awful mood still - I'm bogged down with work and I'm lazy and I've got a constant headache. You see I've got  no will power to make me work. Went to dentist. He's new and very nice.

17th
Had chem test - not too bad - really!! Better mood but life is still getting me down. Went to a meeting of 6th form committee. Got tickets for dance. You know something? I fancy SG a bit. In fact, quite a lot. He wears a black mac and blushes a lot. Dry sense of humour.

18th (Fri)
not too bad really today. Went to see Crabtree - we can sell tickets for the dance. Went out with G. Feel as if I am just drifting along and my life is being moulded by bossy people. I'm being carried along and I'm lonely.

19th (Sat)
I worked. How can anyone be so fickle and 2-faced as me? Not sure about G. We went out and I got home really late. Mum was mad with me. She's always moaning. I'm always weepy.

20th
Don't know how to ask dad again about Speech day*. I feel very nervous - I'm scared and I'm sick of everything We bathed Lady and I ended up shouting at everyone. Oh Diary, you've got a lot of my tears on you. Maybe next week will be better.

21st (Mon)
No tears tonight. I haven't got any left. Dad says he won't do a speech on Speech Day. HELL. Am I being selfish expecting him to? We're all going to Baileys on Thursday. Why would anything go right?

22nd
Oh what-ho, jolly good ol' chum! Just been to the Boy's Speech day. Nerve-wracking but nice. At the reception afterwards I was introduced to millions of people. Posh. I sidled away to Deputy Head Boy and co and nattered to them. Don't know what Crabtree thought.

23rd
Feeling happier. Building up for my birthday. Feeling very very guilty because I fancy SG like mad. He phoned me and talked for ages, but he seems shy in meetings.

24th - My birthday!
Triffic day. Got loads of birthday cards and some pressies at school. Ju got me a fluffy elephant called Humphrey and a lovely book called 'you're my kind of friend'. I was upset because we seemed to have drifted apart. S & C got me a purse and P got me  Snoopy letter paper. W got me some smellies. Had test in Biol. OK. Went to Baileys with Ju and S, P and H and C. We had a great time dancing. I had too much to drink. S stayed over at ours. Very tired, but happy.

25th (Fri)
Broke up at dinner time for half term. In evening went for meal with G. He got me a lovely silver pendant. Happy. We went to Royal Toby in Middleton and I had a massive steak that I couldn't eat.

26 (Sat)
At Hardcastle's. Miss Hoodless away with laryngitis - lying in too much damp grass on holiday with Harry, Mr ashton said!! - Cheek!! G's mum and dad bought me a Mamas and Papas LP. Happy and content.

27th (Sun)
Wasted day, did nowt.

28th
Went to town, got some material to start a dress. Signed a petition about the market hall - made me feel good and adult. Norma got me a weekend case, a record case and a Beatles LP for birthday. Nice!

29th
Did some hmwrk, then some sewing, and then went to Spastics evening at Heathbank with W. At 10.30, Ju phoned - yeah! She's coming round tomorrow.

30th
Nice day - didn't do much.

31st
Few of us from committee went out for a drink - had great time. G not happy - he wants me on a leash.


*Commentary
20th - Because I was Head Girl, dad had to give a speech at Speech day. He didn't want to. He was very shy and had never done any public speaking. We were out of our depth. I was mortified by the idea that he might refuse to do it. Lady was our dog.

My secret teenage diary 1974 October (i) in which I finally get a record player, but Oldham Market Hall burns down and I cry.

October 1st (Tues) 
Got up at 6.30am to do some work and went to school early. Me and s had a talk about how we've all changed so much - E & J & me and s. Did a lot of hmwk at home, going to 6th form committee meeting tomorrow.

2nd
6th form meeting - v nice. More people there this time. RB kept quiet! PR was there too, and MP. Ju was away from school today. Don't know why. Shall I phone? Don't know how to tell Miss Crabtree about dance.

3rd
Ju still away. Hey, hey - I got my record player! We haven't put a plug on it yet though. I'm all excited. Miss Turner was v nice today. She helped me write my speech (my 'formal reply') for Boys' Speech Day. Discussed dresses and posters.

4th (Fri)
normal day at school. Life seems to be gathering speed. I went out with G. Was in bad mood on bus on way down. Met WP, who tried to cheer me up. G will have to get used to  my sulks. they're my worst fault (I think)

5th (Sat)
Near every one of my birthdays there is a disaster. I wonder if this was it? Oldham Market Hall got burnt down to nothing at 3am this morning. I was so shocked when I suddenly saw the charred frame. I was on the bus going to work. I cried.

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/nostalgia/market-destroyed-by-blaze-1145707

6th
Did some sewing, hmwk, nothing special. Played record player - something up with one of speakers, though - will have to phone Asda.

7th (Mon)
Back to school again. Still very sad about Market Hall - all those people - all that history - it's such a crying shame. Had another 6th form committee meeting. It was very good and funny. RC was there - who I was at infant school with! He's head boy of Blue-Coat school now. had a good time.

8th
Ju still away. S away too. We went to a film at film club after school 'Passion' Swedish - disappointing ending. Cousin Marion's daughter Susan came round with her boyfriend, M, who Ju used to go out with.

9th
No energy and lost temper today. Trying to organise pantomime and no-one is helpful. Hell.

10th 
(Thur) Took my record player back to Asda - got a new one which is okay.

11th
Ju came to school today - I really don't know what's up with her. Went to Tiffany's with G. He said he'd been thinking about marriage. He scared the daylights out of me.

12th (Sat)
Still worried about what G said. On my mind and I need to talk it over with someone.

14th (Mon)
Bloody awful day. Stomach pains and for some reason S had been opposing all my ideas. She's trying to organise my birthday do! Not happy! I'm miserable.

15th
Started off another rotten day but got better. This business with G and the idea of marriage getting me down. S and I had a row. I went off in a huff. Poured problems out on W. Talked to S about it later.

My secret teenage diary 1974 September (ii) in which I am very miserable, I help organise a dance and I buy an LP in anticipation of a record player.

Sept 16th (Mon)
ok day. V tired, V in love. Got a  letter from head boy of Kaskenmoor asking us to attend a meeting of 6th formers there in Sept. Crabtree had 'accidentally' opened it. Norma's first teaching day. OK. Prefects tomorrow.

17th
depressed. e learned about reproduction in biology. Ha.

18th (Wed)
Another nothing day, but not wasted, I've learned a lot at school (I think). Went to see Uncle Joe in hospital. I felt uncomfy really. He's not very good, paralysed down left side.. I'm still searching for a record player.

20th
okay at school. Life is v v full and I spend all my time chasing round after people at school.

21st
Went out with G but in a rotten mood. I sometimes hate him. But then I love him again.

22nd (Sun)
nothing day. messed about all day.

23rd (Mon)
Rushing around at school, chasing people. Prefect meeting. Fed up.

24th
Ok day. everything went ok. General bustle and v busy, but not too bad. I'm going to have to gather enough will-power to make myself work hard though. Saw 'Women in Love' at film theatre. It was silly.

25th
After school went to a 6th form meeting. 5 schools represented. Nice lad chaired the meeting. We decided to have a joint dance for Halloween at Town Hall.

26th
At school went to a discussion about the film (Women n Love). It didn't make things a lot clearer. S put a wet blanket on the dance idea. After school RB from Kaskenmoor phoned and said that Chadderton Town Hall was available for our dance. We dissected a rat in biology. Whippee.

27th
Went to see Crabtree about the dance and she basically 'approves'. It wasn't okay at school today. I actually lost my temper - told 2 girls off and I stormed out on S. All settled afterwards.

28th (Sat)
Worked at Hardcastles. Got stuck working in the basement at least half of today. It was ok but I thought i was being used as a general dogsbody. Not just at the shop. By everyone - mum and dad looking at post office book, buying me a new bedspread, not asking my opinion. To top it all I was half and hour late for G and he was annoyed. It wasn't my fault.

29th
Another bloody wasted day. Got up at 12 and did nothing until 6, then I felt so fed up and lonely and as though I'm being used all the time. I want so desperately to be independent and capable of fending for myself. I wish I could help Ju.

30th (Mon)
Okay day. Bought LP  Bridge over Troubled Water for my new record player which I hope will materialise on Wednesday. Went to see Crabtree about university. Went to bed really late.

My secret teenage diary 1974 September (i) in which I begin with teenage nihilism and progress to the age of Aquarius .....

September
1st (Sun)
Today didn't exist. It was wasted again. Norma went away, I sewed, erm, watched TV. Argued with mum and upset her. I'm not proud of it, just sick and tired of living at home.

2nd
A nothing day. Went into Ashton with mum to see if we could get a cheap record player (my latest ambition). Didn't - we got a new tea service. I dyed my white skirt. It's blue now, with a white stripe. How fascinating.

3rd (Tues)
Nowt in morning then went to Manchester in afternoon to see Mr Aron* - he discharged me - triffic - like being let out of prison.

4th
Went into school with Wendy to see if Miss Turner needed any help. Had coffee in the staff room - nice. Everyone was nice. They've had new fire doors put in.

5th
School started today. All little new girls. Oh god! I read in assembly tomorrow!! OK at school otherwise. No lessons today, just mucking abut. I was impressed with a TV series called 'Shoulder to Shoulder' about women's suffrage. Fight for the vote.

6th
School's really started. I felt full of the joys of spring this morning but a day at school soon put the damper on me. Ah well. Nothing like a night out with Geoff to cheer me up. He says he's ging to work in Germany after Christmas. He says he doesn't know what he'll do without me.

7th (Sat)
worked today. Bored. Got a rise of 70p. Out with G but had to wait for loads of buses. All late.

8th
Wasted day again. Bit of work but mostly mucked about. Norma and Phil came home from holiday. She brought me a piggy bank. Lovely.

9th (Mon)
Getting dug in as head girl. Not too bad.

10th
A right day today! I dropped all the form monitress badges, walked into the wrong form room, and nearly pulled the door handle off a door. Apart from that an okay day. Discussed pill at school.

11th
A nice day, don't know why - 'cos nowt unpleasant happened. Sometimes I'm glad I'm head girl. We put posters up at school. Will have to fill in UCCA forms soon.

12th (Thur)
I always forget to write diary on Thurs because there's a great series on TV late - Shoulder to Shoulder.

13th
Went to see the musical 'Hair'* with G. He wasn't overkeen on it, but I was impressed. Got its point over. Music good. One nude bit - but only 2 mins. Beautiful - so lovely and full of peace. and he died in the end (Claude) I cried. Nearly had to walk home 'cos nearly missed bus.

14th (Sat)
Got new school blouse and new leather handbag. Went G's, went to party and had too much to drink (real cider). Stayed up talking to G until 4.30am! Talked about so many things.

15th
Came home from G's - groty at home, hangover, tired and grumpy and in love.

*Commentary
3rd - the orthodontist who had been doing a valiant job of getting my teeth to fit into my mouth for years.
13th - the newspaper clipping (advertisement) is in my diary. 'Hair' was on at the Palace Theatre, ticket prices £1.50; £1.20; 95p; 55p; 45p. 'The tribal love-rock musical' by the Dance Theatre of Harlem. I still have the LP "Hair". 'This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius'..........

My secret teenage diary 1974 August (ii) in which I am sulky and wonder if it's worth working for £2.06p a week.

August 17th (Sat)
I don't talk about Geoff much, do I S came to shop today and we went for coffee at dinner time. She said that she'd had a serious talk with J on the phone. J is going to write to me. Babs is on holiday, Miss Hoodless is okay today. Finished stock-taking. Cold is better, but I've got a cough.

18th
Auntie Emma visited. I retreated to my bedroom to tidy it. Driving practice with dad. It didn't go well. Not sure it will work, dad teaching me. Did some sewing.

19th
A nothing day, but Uncle Joe Taylor (dad's brother) had a stroke and he's in Boundary Park. She came round (Auntie Annie).

20th
Ju phoned and we all went out for a drink up Grains Bar, me, J,  and E. I'm frightened that we are all changing. No-one fitted in like we do at school. Maybe it's just me.

21st (Thur)
did some work for school- (Maths, Biol) not as much as I should have done. Maybe it's me that's changing. Logical.

22nd
Out with G - okay.

24th
Worked at Hardcastle's today. Feel down in the dumps. I'm going through a 'phase' I think. My character maybe changing.

25th (Sun)
Another wasted day. Norma's Phil was round. Uncle Joe is a lot better, I'm glad. Oh, what's wrong with me? Wrote letter to Rob

28th (Wed)
went into town with S and bought little pressy for F. F has finished with her fella and needed cheering up. Trying to round everyone up for a night out. S is going out. J is out with Paul. Me, C and S going out tomorrow.

29th
Went for a drink with C and S. bit miserable. Nice talk though. Glad I went

30th (Fri)
Went to Oldham and bought some material to make a jacket. Black linen. Bit morbid. Norma goes on hol with Phil this weekend. I'm jealous. Out with G.

31st
Worked. Not worth it really for £2.06p, but then I'm a fool. Michelle Hollamby's mum came in shop and recognised me! Went out with G but I was sulky. In an 'everybody hates Jackie' mood.

Paulo Coelho - just abandoned reading ........

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

2/10


I think this is the kind of book that everyone says one should read, and that is why it was on my shelf. Well, I tried. I got to page 25 and then thought 'No. I just don't want any lessons for life at the moment, thank you'.

Young shepherd, travelling and looking for answers meets mystical people who give him clues. Maybe if I'd stuck it out to the end I would have found out the answer to the mysteries of life and happiness and destiny. But no. I'm okay thanks, for the moment.

When I was young, unlike the shepherd, who walks about with his sheep, I used to walk up to Northmoor library and get out the Fairy Books of Andrew Lang (The Yellow Fairy Book, The Blue Fairy Book etc). I worked my way through all the colours diligently and absorbed all the stories of magical happenings, poor fishermen being given three wishes, long journeys to find the hidden meaning of something etc. I enjoyed them, but then I moved on to other reading which usually delivered its messages more subtly.
I can't work out why I want to turn my back on Paulo Coelho's attempt to tell me a tale with a moral. Maybe I need more subtlety.

If I work it out, I'll let you know.

My secret teenage diary 1974 August (i) in which I go shopping a lot and take a foolish risk

Aug 1st (Thur)
Hey, got a bargain today - a maxi pinafore for £1.25 at Finigan's. It's lovely. Last day working at Hardcastle's today (weekdays, that is). That RAF bloke that Babs met on Tuesday met her after work. I told her I'm not going to the Rigby Club dance.

2nd
Last day at Hardcastles (except saturdays). Babs finished with RAF bloke last night. Out with Geoff tonight. he brought me a lovely Cupid back from Scotland. Nice evening.

3rd (Sat)
At work an old lady blessed me and said I'm made her day by smiling at her. That was beautiful. When I got home Norma and Phil were there, also Auntie May, Audrey, Sandra, Andrew etc. It was ok.

4th
Driving lesson with Dad round Bardsley, where it's quiet. I did okay. Out with G in Rochdale. I had to walk home from Oldham and a guy offered me a lift in his car and I accepted. I shouldn't have but he was okay.

5th
Into town with a great big shopping list and some money. Didn't get much. Purse and choccy for mum, knickers and braid for me. Braid to make a watch-band. More driving practice.

6th (Tues)
Did some patchwork and messing about. Ironing, vacuuming. Auntie Elsie came and implied it's time I got married. Wrote to Ju.

7th
Wish I were on holiday. Ju will have got letter today. Wonder what she thinks of it. Went to town for dad to pay mortgage and solicitor. Did yoga with Norma.

9th (Fri)
Went to town today and got a pattern for a trouser suit, some perfume (verbena) and some blue material for a blouse. Out with G at night. Met some friends of his, Barry and Lorraine, ok.

10th
Went to Manchester with G. Pouring down. Finally bought some shoes. Poor G was getting pretty impatient. Don't blame him. We had dinner there. Black shoes with high heels. Help.  At night went out with G and Lorraine and Barry, dancing. Not very good.

11th
G gets nicer all the time but sometimes I hate him. Norma had her handbag pinched - some money, key, cheque book. She's v upset. At a party last night. Auntie May, Uncle Herbert, Allan have been round.

12th
Stocktaking at work. Boring. Barbara gets on my nerves.

13th (Tues)
Got a cold. Norma has a cold too. No word from Julie.

16th
Still poorly with cold. Didn't go to work. Sewed new blouse a bit. Pale blue, long sleeves.