Hello, welcome to my blog

Mostly you will find, here, transcribed entries from the secret diary that I used to keep as a teenager between 1970 and 1975. I try to be honest with my transcriptions, but, just occasionally I do edit, to protect myself or others from embarrassment or some other emotion.
Also, though, I like to do a brief review of the books I have been reading, so these are interspersed throughout. I reserve the right to write blog entries, also, about other random things.
Why do I keep this blog? I don't know. I am an academic and one of my research interests is around how people construct their own identities. The diary transcriptions, and what I write about my books, are very much about revealing something of my identity.

Tuesday 24 August 2010

Just finished reading . . .

Girl with a Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

8 out of 10

Well - this book has made me ponder on what makes a good author! How has Stieg made me turn the pages so fast, so frequently and helped me to understand several complex storylines all running in parallel? He must have been a good writer. He lost 2 marks, for doing the kind of things that thrillers have to do, or they wouldn't be thrillers (which I don't normally read) Will I rush to read the second book? - not yet - but probably will at some point. Good escapism.

Now will I read The Time-Traveller's Wife or The Road? I have packed both in my suitcase.

Saturday 14 August 2010

Just finished reading . . .

Gentlemen and Players by Joanne Harris

5 out of 10

A nice thriller cum who-dun-it, set in a private boys' school. About revenge and infatuation. The style is a bit like Ruth Rendell, when she gets inside the head of someone who is disturbing. Ruth does it better. As does Patricia Highsmith, who is the best at doing it.

Now I'm going to read 'Girl with a Dragon Tattoo' because a good friend has recommended and lent it to me. It puts me off that everyone is singing its praises. I sometimes avoid what is very popular. I did this with the film Jaws when it first came out. I must have been the only person who didn't go to the cinema to see it. Then when I did see it on TV, years later, I realised what a great film I had missed!

Thursday 12 August 2010

My secret diary 1971 August (ii)

I made very few entries in this period. I wonder what I was doing?
However, on Aug 26th I made an effort to start keeping the diary again.
I can't reproduce exactly what I wrote on that day because I had decided to write in English, but using the Russian alphabet (I was studying Russian for 'O' level). I must have thought it was a way of keeping my diary secret. It didn't last. Here's my translation
Aug 26 (Thurs)
On school holiday. Sorry about long space. S gave me the idea for Russian writing. Norma very upset about friend.
Aug 27 (Fri) (Here I reverted mainly to the English alphabet)
Didn't do much again. Messed about with chemistry set in morning and went in town in afternoon. Bad mood*!!
Aug 28th
I will try hard to keep up with dairy. Nothing again. J will be coming home this weekend. S went on holiday today. Boring. Dentist.
Aug 29th
See next year - sorry!


* this in Russian

My secret diary 1970 August (ii)

August 16th (sun)
Didn't take Sandra to the baths 'cos she's got laryngitis. Started feeling artistic! Finished Norma's bag (crocheting) OK day.
Aug 17th
Funny day. Busy but not full, if you see. Went to Greenwoods. Did quite a lot of painting and art etc. New book-mark. A green snake. New symbol of jealousy.
Aug 18th
Horrible tummy pains. Not done much all day. Susan and Antony and mum came. OK.
Aug 19th
Went to stay with S. Quite good. Did some dressing up. Dead scarey room.
Aug 20th
As I was saying on Wed she's got a scarey room. Went to Manchester with S. Got dinner for 3/3d!! Poured down!. Dressed up again!!
Aug 21st
All S's relations came visiting for dinner. Have you ever asked for 13 pies in a shop? Poor Karen, locked in room*. Danced! Fantastic!
Aug 22nd
Shocked! S's ma and pa were really mad when she broke her heel. BORED! Oh God help us. Me and S were bored stiff in town. Nothing could save us.
Aug 23rd (Sun)
Passed the day doing nothing much. Home from S's now. Going to Auntie Emma's tomorrow (with Shirley?)
Aug 24th
Went to Ashton, then to Sheffield (Stocksbridge). Fairly safely. Saw Diane, gosh, what a difference. Baths tomorrow. Never see Cousin Jack. He's shy. Staying with Auntie Emma.
Aug 25th
Went to baths with Diane and Kay. Dead nice "baths attendant" called John. Funny. Diane's ok so is Kay. Modern baths. Heard tale of Valkmar, her idol.
Aug 26th
Went to Nottingham with a party of old age pensioners. Ugh. Mrs Lawton led us round for 1hr looking for a 'suitable' restaurant. Nice castle.
Aug 27th (thurs)
Went to baths again. Diane is lovesick over a "swine" called Valkmar. He's Austrian (a penpal) who's out for what he can get. She was in tears over him.
Aug 28th
Went to Sheffield with Auntie Emma (can't stand her). Wrote letters to J and S. It's great in Sheffield. I didn't buy anything. Made soaps.*
Aug 29th (Sat)
Great day. Gail and Sandra (2 friends) were drunk in the field. Kissing all the boys! Gail's ma walloped her. Went home from A.E.'s. Had a fairly nice time*.
Aug 30th (Sun)
OK day except right now I feel like crying my eyes out. Nothing much except dad trying to start an argument. Made things.
Aug 31st
Nice day. Saw horrible film on telly based on H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds". Yuck. Ian McShane is gorgeous (an actor). Done some embroidery. J rung. Going tomorrow.

Commentary
Aug 21st - I've no idea to which Karen this refers, or why she is locked in a room! Maybe it was the dog? No-one calls their dog Karen.
Aug 28th - I have a very clear memory of Auntie Emma showing me how to decorate bars of soap with pieces of ribbon, small beads and small silk flowers, fixing these with straight pins. These were then taken to 'sales of work', along with knitted teapot covers and cloth peg-bags, to raise money for good causes.
Aug 29th - poor Auntie Emma. She must have tried so hard to find ways to entertain me, a sulky teenager. Maybe mum sent me there because she was fed up with my sulking.

Monday 9 August 2010

Reading . . .

Now reading 'Gentlemen and Players' by Joanne Harris. I've read her 'Blackberry Wine', which was good fun. I haven't read 'Chocolat'. I think I bought this at some charity shop. It's been lying on my books-to-be-read shelf for a while.

Saturday 7 August 2010

Just finished reading . . .

The Road to Wigan Pier by George Orwell

This is such an important book. I wonder what it was like to read it in 1937 when it was first published? Was it shocking? George Orwell, self-defined as lower-upper-class spent time researching and living with miners' families in Wigan during the depression years in the 1930s.

The book still has so much relevance for today. It should be compulsory reading in schools. His chapters made me understand, a little better, mining communities (and the mass destruction carried out by Margaret Thatcher and her government), unemployment and the damage that it does to individuals and to communities, poverty, poor housing (and the importance of council housing), the class divide and the North-South divide.
I realised, as I read, that my mother was one of the Northern town cotton mill workers that he describes, living in a 4 roomed house, in a family of about 9 children plus parents). She was 22 in 1937, and, according to Orwell, probably being paid less than 30 shillings a week.
There are those, in the early 21st century, who argue that the term 'class' is no longer relevant. I stopped listening to the Archers on Radio 4 a while ago because it became clear to me that the scripts are written from the premise that the low-paid, non-land-owning characters (such as the Grundies) are there to be laughed at, or pitied, or vilified for their various money-making schemes and scams. Meanwhile there is a clear dominance of middle (and upper) class characters whose lives we are really supposed to be following. Orwell made me think of this in one of his paragraphs, with a very accurate description of how the working classes are regarded by the middle classes in 1930s Britain.
Now I'll stop ranting and confess that I didn't read the last two chapters, in which he is analysing why, in Europe at that time, fascism was gaining more support than socialism. After writing this book, he went off to join the International Brigade, fighting fascism in the Spanish Civil War. I got irritated with some of his sweeping generalisations about 'types' of people, which didn't hit my early 21st century sensibilities easily.
9 out of 10
There is a link to the last book I read - The Children's Book, by AS Byatt, which chronologically falls just a before The Road to Wigan Pier. It is difficult for a middle/upper class Communist (Charles/Karl, in the Children's Book) to mix and talk with the working classes.

Now, what shall I read next? I might go for total garbage.

Thursday 5 August 2010

Just finished reading . . .

The Children's Book by A.S. Byatt.

Wow. I have been thoroughly disturbed by this book, on lots of levels. It is about Arty-Crafty people at the turn of the 20th century, about fabians, anarchists and liberal-minded types. Mostly it is about their children. The book is long, though it only covers a period of 20 years: it starts in 1895 and ends in 1919. As I read nearer to the end I knew that I was being led into the First World War and I didn't want to go there. But I went, and it can never be an easy journey, rightly so.
I think it a book about families, about hypocrisy, about love, and fear and betrayal of the deepest kind. It is also about society changing, reluctantly at first, then forced to change fast.
I thought I knew about WWI, and about art, and pottery and the Suffragettes, but there is always more one can learn. Layers of new learning about old subjects enrich us, over time.
I'll give this book 8.5 out of 10. The only reason that I'm not giving it more is because I suspect that I am not well-read anough to have fully appreciated all the contextual referencing that she did throughout the book.

Now I'm thinking of re-reading 'The Road to Wigan Pier' by George Orwell. The copy that I've got is very dog-eared, and inside it says that I bought it on Oldham Market for 25p. I suspect I have had it since about 1980. I don't often re-read books, but I have got to know Wigan better over the last year, and I need to think about socialism again. Also, there was a play on Radio 4 the other day which was about Orwell's visit to Wigan, when he was researching for the book. It was on my pile of 'books to read', so I thought I was receiving a direct message through the airwaves, to pick George up.

Tuesday 3 August 2010

A. S. Byatt. - Reading

My secret diary 1970 August (i)

Aug 1 (Sat)
Went to Carnival with J and her sister and brother. Slept night.
Aug 2nd (Sun)
Thought that S would be coming round to our house but she couldn't make it. J came back home with me.
Aug 3rd
Tried to make friends with 3 year old Alexandra next door (yuck) Went to baths with J and C. Never forgive myself for losing purse with key in it.
Aug 4th
Sorry! Behind with diary 'cos of losing key. I'll catch up on August 15th.
Aug 5th
Arranged with J to go and see a picture at the ABC*. Arrived late. A bit worried about money though. Gosh, what a lot of problems.
Aug 6th (Bomb dropped on Hiroshima on Aug 6th)
Went to flicks with J today instead. Saw "Goodbye Mr Chips" Peter O'Toole is quite attractive, good singer too.*
Aug 7th (Fri)
I WANT A BOYFRIEND! I'm fed up! Went to pics again to see "Carry On Teacher" and "Carry on Nurse" Funny. Bought bufday card for Lorette.
Aug 8th
Nuffin' happens (Aren't I a liar? Just 'cos I've lost me key) Going to stay with F on Monday.
Aug 9th (Sun)
Got a card and a present for F. Box of After Eights and a pen. MUM PAID (7/11) Spent all day just wrapping them up.
Aug 10th
(Going to stay with F) F came. Went up town, then went to F's. Horrible! So perfectly goody-goody! (Yuck) (In a word)*
Aug 11th (Tue)
Still at F's (Yuck). Feel as though I'm being watched all the time. Went to see Mrs Nuttall. She's lovely, she's 75 and she's getting married.
Aug 12th
Still at F's (yuck) So boring! Met the great Bensons. F is always going on about them. Wonderful. Sally Benson didn't bother to come. Been living in South Africa and very prejudiced.
Aug 13th
Luvly time. We organised a 'fair' for some kids near F's. Raised 4/11d. Just Hoop-las and such-like
Aug 14th (Fri)
At last I've some home from F's. I've honestly only enjoyed about 3 hours there. Her dad's very old-fashioned.*
Aug 15th (Sat)
S came to our house. We went to J's. Me and J spun a tale about two lads. S confided in me that she has a problem.



*Commentary
Aug 5th - those were the good old days when small towns had 2 or 3 cinemas in easy travelling distance. It would have been interesting to know what film we saw! A critical review would have been good too! But, then, who am I to make demands of my 13 year old self?
Aug 6th - I knew my 13 year old self wouldn't let me down! I had an opinion on everything, even then.
Aug 10th - I know, I was horrible. I have changed the names, although this person is not a fb friend. Trying to be honest and not edit the diary too much, but feel very uncomfortable.
Aug 14th - My mum and dad were quite old (mum had me when she was 41), so my dad would have been 54 at this time - yet I clearly didn't put him in the category of 'old-fashioned' like F's dad. This is a revelation to me now, looking back.