Abandoned reading . . .

City of the Beasts by Isabelle Allende

Isabelle Allende is a great writer, so who am I to put her book down, abandoned at p84?

I think she may have written this for young people - it is an adventure book, so not my cup of tea.
What it had in common with William Faulkner's Wild Palms was that both had a difficult river journey, one on the Mississippi, and one on the Amazon.

Sarah Grazebrook - Just finished reading . . .

Crooked Pieces by Sarah Grazebook

6.5 out of 10


What I haven;t revealed so far is that I normally have 2 books on the go at a time. One is one that I read (paper-based), and the other will be an audio-book, in the car, to help make my commuting, or other long journeys, tolerable.
My supply of audio-books is my local library, so I am drawing from a restricted range. Also, I find that I can't listen to any book that is too complex, or requires totla concentration, because I have to negotiate my way, safely, through heavy, unpredictable traffic.
As a consequence, most of my audio-reading reverts to a kind of easy fiction, usually involving 2 poor sisters who come over from Ireland to Liverpool at the end of the last century, Ususally they are starving, then they meet a villain, they nearly die and then one of them falls in love, and they become wealthy through hard work or marriage. Or Catherine Cookson will do.
Anyway, this book wasn't quite like that, but it was about a poor girl from Stepney (Maggie) who gets involved with the Pankhurst family and becomes a Suffragette activist. It was a good book because it made me revisit the Suffragette history, and the dreadful things that women went through to win us our right to vote (or did they alienate the governement of the time and delay us getting the vote?)
I had just finished the book when I saw film footage of the student demonstartions this week, with police, on horse-back, controlling the demonstrators in London, and it felt like a modern-day replay of other protests and demonstartions through history.

There was some love interest in the book also - Maggie falls in love with a policeman - will she, won't she?
I didn't work out why the book is called Crooked Pieces.

William Faulkner 'The Wild Palms' addendum

I forgot to say, about this book, that William was quite capable of writing never-ending sentences that could cover more than a page of the book. The only way to read him, I find, is to accept that I won't understand much of what he says.

But here is something he said about Christmas.

"Christmas... . . when before an altar in the shape of a gold-plated cattle-trough man may with impunity prostrate himself in an orgy of unbridled sentimental obeisance to the fairy tale which conquered the Western world, when for seven days the rich get richer and the poor get poorer in amnesty: the whitewashing of a stipulated week leaving the page blank and pristine again for the chronicling of the fresh."

My secret diary 1970 November (ii)

Nov 17th (Tue)
S stayed with us more today. She told us a great secret. Feel honoured. . . . . . . .*
Nov 18
Honestly, I'm very sorry BUT (long word that) I haven't written my diary till Dec 20th. SO! I've written in every now and then. Okay?
Nov 19
Blank
Nov 21 (Sat)
Norma comes home 19th Dec. Went to Ashton with Dad, bought a pair of boots after much trailing about. 95/- (Birthday present)
Nov 22 (Sun)
Don't like Sunday. Such a bore. Always. (Have Monday off) Did chemistry, biology and Russian revision (well at least I tried) yesterday
Nov 23
Done history, geography and 2 other subjects (can't remember) Exams on Wednesday.
Nov 24th
Carol's birthday. Didn't buy Carol anything. Sorry Carol. Nervous about exams.
Nov 25th (Wed)
Chem, Biol, and Russian exams. Chem and Biol okay but Russian Ugh!!!! Please God let me do well in these exams.
Nov 26
Didn't start (P). History and Geography exams. Both Grotty!! HELP!!
Nov 27 (Fri)
Started. English and French. English okay, I did 8 sides (remarkable). French. Oh No! never ever again. I hate Mrs Crewe.
Nov 30 (Mon)
Scripture and Maths exams. Both okay but Maths was a bit 'yuck'.


*Commentary
Nov 17 - well, I'm not going to tell it on a public blog, am I? Wasn't my secret, even if 40 years have passed since then.

Just finished reading . . .

The Wild Palms by William Faulkner

10 out of 10

I've decided that my scoring system is flawed. There are some authors / books who I am not fit to judge! If I give someone 10 out of 10, then really I am saying 'this book is very good - it might not be perfect, or it might deserve 25/10, but who am I to say?'
I think that Hilary Mantel's Wolfe Hall was such a book. Dicken's Little Dorrit, and numerous others that are great pieces of literature.
Well, this is the fourth William Faulkner I have read. I think 'The Sound and the Fury' - such a difficult read - was the one that floored me the most, but this one beats judgement too. Not a cheerful book, and confusing at times.
How could he have written, in 1939, a book which, if it were written now, would be (post-)modern and challenging in its content and structure?
He tells 2 stories in one book, each told in every alternate chapter. They run parallel, but they don;t connect, except in the reader's head.
A book about hopefulness, hopelessness, looking after others at the expense of self.

What did it have in common with the last book I read - The Pilot's Wife? Maybe they are both about seeking ideal ways of living, and caring for others.

My secret diary 1970 November (i)

Nov 1 (Sun)
My birthday disaster! 145 people burnt to death in French dance hall. A disaster always happens on my birthday or near it. Oh God! Why oh why?*
Nov 2
Trapsed all round town looking for a pair of denim jeans. Couldn't find any. Telly man came. Good looking son. Felt a fool.
Nov 3
Still half term (has beeen since Friday dinner). Didn't do much, just a bit of revision. Wrote letter to Lorette*. Rotten thing hasn't written for ages. Used machine a bit.*
Nov 4 (Wed)
Back to school, nice day (fairly). Wrote letter to Diane. Daft flowery envelope. Hate X. She steals - stole a hatband at school (did pay for it afterwards).
Nov 5
Pity all the poor kids who are going to be burnt tonight. Crying. Dad wants me to argue. Makes me cry. Soft. BAN FIREWORKS. Cut finger in hockey. Good mark in test. Good.
Nov 6 (Fri)
Crying. Well! Dad's in a funny mood again. I've just been out babysitting. She gave me 10/- again. Annoyed at her. DAD IS TOO!*
Nov 7
Went up town with Auntie May. I like her. I bought some denims. Auntie May got me a Russian dictionary. Gave me knitting needles. Had visitors.
Nov 8 Sun
Had visitors last night. Douglas and wife and daughter. Me and Gillian left in. She's quite nice, not a good speaker. Bored all night. Both fell asleep. Auntie May came today, and cousin Allan.
Nov 9
School! I never look forward to it nowadays. On October 31st (7 days after my birthday) 144 teenagers were killed in France. Oh help me get rid of this jinx, please.*
Nov 10
Speech Day, so half day off. Ashamed of myself, so lazy. Did nothing nearly all day. Behind with homework. Tut! Did some crocheting for Sandra's poncho.*
Nov 11
Ah well! Another day. Bored stiff. Didn't start school till 10am. F.T. is 'tagging on' to me, J and S. Had an idea about sewing sessions Friday.
Nov 12 (Thur)
Oh dear! We've got a problem. F! Tried to get away from her at dinnertime. Sorry.*
Nov 13 (Fri)
I think S is breaking away from me and J slightly. Went up town last night with S, bought 10/- worth of toys for lad that I babysit. Party tomorrow.*
Nov 14
Shirley came, gave me skin thing for birthday present. Had nice time. Up-town. No gloves. Sara's party. Fab house!! Oh S, don't go off with F, you're my friend.
Nov 15
Lazy thing! Did hardly anything all day. Homework. Did a lot of Sandra's poncho. That's about all, honest. Cried about S. Don't go.
Nov 16
EXAMS START ON NOV 25th. HELP.


*Commentary
Nov 1 - I can only apologise, shrinking with embarrassment, for being a self-referring drama queen!
Nov 3 - Lorette was my friend penfriend who lived in Amiens. The machine I refer to was the sewing machine.
Nov 6 - When I read this, I thought we were annoyed about the amount of money, in some way (too much, too little??) But - see what happens next Friday.
Nov 9 - I have already apologised!
Nov 10 - I had acquired some horrendous flourescent pink nylon yarn (where from?), and I set to work to make a pink poncho for my second cousin, Sandra, who was about 5(?). I can't say that I never saw her wearing it. It must have been horrible!
Nov 12 - was I really so horrible!
Nov 13 - Clearly either dad or I thought I shouldn't be paid for baby-sitting - so I gave the money back by buying toys. I suspect that this was dad's morality, rather than mine. But this is how parents' values are instilled in the next generation. When I was much younger (maybe 7) I desperately wanted to buy a set of doll's cooking utensils from our local newsagent but didn't have enough money, and my parents wouldn't give me any. So I borrowed it from a friend, with the promise that I would pay her back when I got my pocket money. When dad found out, he was furious! He made me take the purchase back tot he newsagent and ask for my money back. I was mortified. And so I learned not to spend money that I haven't got.

Just finished reading . . .

The Pilot's Wife by Anita Shreve

9.5 out of 10

Anita Shreve is a great, and multi-facetted, writer.
In this book she tells a good story, and she explores the extent to which we can ever know someone else. How do you react when you find out that someone close had big secrets?
2 pieces of wisdom that I marked in this book
(1) you have to go through something to get to the other side
(2) 'to be relieved of love ..... was to give up a terrible burden'

Not a book to read on an aeroplane.

What did it have in common with the last book I read, by Michael Connelly? They are both about investigations into why death occurred.

Truth and diary-keeping

I have kept diaries on and off throughout the years. There is a trend, in that they tend to more factual in 1970, becoming more emotionally focused in 1974 and beyond, presumably as I discovered the full gamut of adult emotions.
When re-visiting my diaries now, various thoughts about the truth keep popping into my head. The most important one is at the end of this piece of writing, so skip down now, if you wish!
Firstly, we will never know whether I wrote the truth in my diaries. (But what is truth?) Presumably I was writing some version of the truth. This will have been impacted on by (a) whether I thought anyone else might read the diary and (b) whether I could perceive and face the truth myself. I have to ask myself, what did I omit or embellish at the time?
Secondly, when I transcribe my teenage diaries, now, for public consumption, I don't always present exactly what I wrote at the age of 14. I might leave out things that might hurt others, or that might reveal something that is too personal about self and family. This week I even left out a corny joke that made me feel uncomfortable (am I trying to protect my 14 year old self, who existed 40 years ago, or the adult me, who still contains her?).
Thirdly, my diary keeping was imperfect, and so recently there have been questions about parts of my narrative that I cannot now answer, because my memory isn't good enough. So some truths are lost.
Fourthly, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I have re-read some diary entries recently which have given me a sudden realisation of a truth that I didn't know at the time I made the entry. For example, transcribing my teenage diaries for this blog, (and in the course of doing so, imagining what a modern, adult readership will make of them), I saw my parents' relationship differently. Even more recently, I was re-reading a series of diary entries that I made in March 1988, when I was going through a messy relationship break-up. I can't write the detail here, but I suddenly saw something that I didn't see then! Not just an emotional insight - I saw a truth about facts, that had stayed hidden to me all this time - I have new knowledge! I think this emerged through re-reading the whole, swiftly, after a gap of many years. It was like a detective novel - this happened, and this happened, so of course, we must conclude that that must have happened! It has come as a bit of a shock, but one which the passage of time has made safe, and I can even laugh about it. If I meet any of you in person, I may even tell you the secret!

Any great insights about truth in here? Maybe not. It all links in with qualitative data analysis of course. And the nature of truth. Now I need a cup of coffee.