Annie Proulx - Just finished reading ....

Fine Just the Way It Is by Annie Proulx

9/10

I don't like short stories much, unless they are written by Annie Proulx.
In a book like this, not every story is going to be a gem, but the ones that are are overwhelmingly fine.

Please, please, please read some of these Wyoming stories. Read 'Them Old Cowboy Songs', and it'll break your heart. Read 'Testimony of the Donkey' and, like me, you will never know how it ends. Read 'Tits-Up in a Ditch' and you will break your heart again, and you will know exactly in which circumstances you can apply this phrase in your own life - though I hope you never have to.

Annie earned 9/10 on the back of these three stories and one other.

But do I want to visit Wyoming? Yes, I do. Just like her other masterpieces, 'The Shipping News' and 'That Ol' Ace in the Hole' made me want to see Newfoundland and the Texas Panhandle.

I love Annie Proulx, but I'm not sure I would want her round for dinner. She sees too much and understands too much. A wise woman.

David Mitchell - Just finished reading ....

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

8/10

This reminded me of Julian Barnes' 'History of the world in 10 1/2 chapters'. Why? Not sure - it feels like a momentous book that has a lot to say to us, but I think it might need to be read again to catch all the cleverness. It is a clever book. It's big and made up of several stories, that interlink with each other. I feel that I shouldn't say more than that for fear of giving too much away - but I was taken from the story of a sea-faring lawyer in the 1800s to the fate of a cloned fast-food waitress in a world dominated by multinational brand names to a post-apocalyptic future with tribal warfare.

Bit post-modern (well, a lot, actually) - I think the author cleverly makes reference to what he has done on page 463, where he is describing the work of a composer of music - I'm paraphrasing, so as to describe the book - 'in the first half of the book each story is interrupted by its successor: in the second, each interruption is recontinued in order. Revolutionary or gimmicky? Shan't know until it's finished.'

I wouldn't call it revolutionary or gimmicky - but it is a clever way to deliver a book's narratives.

It took me ages to read, though - partly because sometimes it's hard to find the time, but also, it was stodgy at times.

Alderman, Comyns and Cook - read recently in the car

These are some audio-stories that I have recently listened to in the car as I trudge or zoom up and down the motorway to and from work each day.

You may recall from other posts, that I can't listen to anything too exciting or complex, because I can't not have accidents and concentrate at the same time. So, I tend to choose my story CDs from our local library using a system that is roughly alphabetical, tends to favour female authors, de-selects murder mysteries and modern chick-lit.

I often end up with poor Rosie Tralee who has left poverty in Ireland and ends up being a maid in a cruel household in Liverpool but then her luck changes and she ends up owning a department store. There are a surprising number of books that follow this kind of plot.

Whisper of Life by Gloria Cook is one of those books. But in this, Katie who is poor and working class and therefore ill-treated by her family is taken under the wings of a nice middle-class family, so that's alright then. There are 4 or 5 deaths and a kidnapping in a remarkably short space of time. But she gets engaged to a nice man, and the deaths are all people we don't like, so that's alright then, too. The best bit of this audio-book is the person who reads the story, who tries to do post-war upper middle class accents and the accents of the Devonshire hoi-polloi who litter their streets. Made me laugh out loud! No score for this one.

Naomi Alderman's book, 'Disobedience' is an interesting study of what it might be like to rebel against one's Jewish up-bringing and community. So, I learned a lot about the Jewish culture in Hendon and the story was 5/10. I found the characters a bit hard to believe in.

Barbara Comyn's book was called 'The Vet's Daughter', so I assumed that she would be treated cruelly, run away and then find her way to riches, through marriage, in America. But actually, it was a good book. The story had been triggered by a newspaper cutting (Victorian, I think) about a young woman who performed a magical display of levitating above the ground in a London park, and was trampled to death in the consequent crowd surge. 6/10

My secret diary 1973 August (ii) Beware - sulky teenager on holiday.

August 8th
Ju seems sad about her gran dying. It must be hard to take on board. At night went dancing. Dutch sat with us and then 2 French blokes. I didn't like any of them much. I wanted my Franz. He goes home tomorrow. See yellow paper*

August 9th Thur
Spent most of day with Franz on beach. Ju stayed at caravan. It can't be love - I've only known him 3 or 4 days - but he's nice. Wanted to know if I had slept with English fellas. I didn't give a straight answer. I'm a bit of a liar. Well, I don't know. He went. I didn't cry. Stayed in tonight.

August 10th
Did absolutely nothing all day. Didn't even sunbathe on beach or swim or anything. Got annoyed with Ju. We had 2 rows*. Cleared the air a bit. Getting brown now. Ju spent a lot of time talking to Italians across the road.

August 11th Sat
Ju wanted me to go to Tossa with Valent and Paolo and Hermano - I didn't want to go. Had a row. She went and I stayed home with Auntie Margaret - okay.

August 12th
Today Valentino etc went to Tossa for bull fights, so Ju has been bored. We were both bored. Did nothing.

August 13th
In morning we cleared the caravan up, and in affy we drove to Barcelona airport to collect Ju's mum. Ju's mum and aunt M started going on at me to go to Tossa, but I don't want to go. Me and Ju went to top - good dancing.

August 14th
Behind with diary. A lazy day. We swam and sun-bathed and did daft things. Ju spent time with Valentino.

August 15th
Can't remember much. Valentino went home and Ju cried her eyes out. I think he was annoyed with her last night because me and her danced with 2 arty types. Sat with 2 English drips at night.

August 16th Thur
Oh1 I've seen this gorgeous bloke - we've nicknamed him 'Simple Simon' - he's French and beautiful. He's got long hair and a tash and he's small. He plays the guitar.

August 17th
I'm sorry - I just can't remember exactly - oh! I bought a new bikini - there's a shop on the campsite. Cost 380 pesetas - £2 something.

August 18th
I can't remember much but I do know I'm miserable. Had another row with Ju. Wrote postcard to SQ. I'm in love with Simple Simon. I mean it.

August 19th
Oh dear. I got a bit drunk at night. We were having a laugh on beach with a few people, including nice Bavarian called Rudi. I was sick twice. I lost a contact lens in the sand.*

*Commentary
Aug 8 - sorry - no yellow paper in diary!
Aug 10 - I guess it doesn't take too much reading between the lines to understand this sulky grumpy teenager. I wanted a boyfriend, and I wanted to be able to spend time on my own with him, but if Julie wanted to be with a boy, and this excluded me, then I got cross. Sorry Ju!
Aug 19 - Julie and I recall this episode well. Being drunk, I decided that a sure-fire way of finding the contact lens (it being dark) would be to draw a big circle in the sand around where I thought the lost lens to be. The next morning we went back but, of course, the circle n the sand, and the contact lens, were nowhere to be found. I spent the rest of the holiday squinting short-sightedly through one eye, because vanity would not permit me to wear glasses.

Hilary Mantel - Just finished reading . . . .

Fludd by Hilary Mantel (1989)

7/10

Hilary Mantel is an incredibly versatile author. This is the third book that I have read by her and each has been very different from the last. I suppose that this one has the same mystical strands that 'Beyond Black' had, but Fludd focuses on the mysticism of the Catholic Church, whilst Beyond Black was about clairvoyance.
This is a good story, and what more can we ask of a book? I suspect there was some depth of meaning th at I didn't get, because Hilary Mantel is cleverer than me. Is Fludd a saint, or is he the devil, or an alchemist? Without doubt the changes that he brings about are positive and empowering ones, so we are glad of his visit to this miserable northern town. The reader (well, this one anyway) roots for Sister Philomena and Father Angwin to come out on top by the end.

Speaking of the miserable northern town, it reminded me at times of the setting for 'Father Ted' with its idiosyncratic priest and his housekeeper, or 'Cold Comfort Farm' with its miserable inhabitants, or 'Little Britain' with its insularity and weirdness.

My secret diary 1973 August (i) sun, sea and boys!

Aug 1 (Wed)

Moved onto plot 30 with great chaos. Put the awning up. 3 Italians* opposite talked to us. Quite good looking. Sunbathed. Not to long, didn't want to burn. Went dancing and met 2 Dutch lads. Speak Eng very well. 1 lad - Steve - quite nice but about 16!

Camping Giverola Pola nearly 40 years on!

Aug 2

Sunbathed, swam in sea, saw a fella on sand that looked just like Robert Redford - no kidding, really beautiful, tan and everything. Met them at night - about 4 Germans asked us to sit with them. Wolfgang (Robert Redford), Rudi & Franz. Franz interested in me. He's nice.

Aug 3

Don't like sleeping arrangements. Me and Ju get trodden on constantly. Many flies and creepies. Sunbathed and swam. Camp is very nice. Germans, French, Italians, Dutch, English. Nice! Sat with Germans again in bar. Invited us to a dance in Tossa. Accepted. Taught us German.

Aug 4

Did nowt during day. Saw Germans in bar. Franz fancies me - he's nice - not as nice looking as Robert Redford, who doesn't really like us a lot I think. Ju fancies Italians, I prefer Germans. Went to Tossa with Germans. 1900 Club. Great time but had to be home for 12 o'clock.

Aug 5 (Sun)

Snogged Franz last night - he's pretty good - pash! Getting tanned now, but people keep saying we're white. Ju and I are quite close.

Aug 6 (Mon)

Can't remem properly what happened. Camp is made up of many tents and caravans in a valley and up hillsides with bay at end of valley. Not proper sand - very stoney - but beautiful water. Spent today messing about generally. Night sat with Germans!

Aug 7

Went to Llorett in morning with Auntie Marg and Uncle Alan etc. Very, very hot. Market on - nice. What should I buy family? When we went back to camp-site found Ju's mum and dad upset because they heard that Ju's gran had died. Only just found out. Ju's mum and dad flew home. Alan goes tomorrow.

*Commentary

Aug 1 - Every encounter with a different nationality was a thrill for a small-town girl from Lancashire who had never been out of England, except to Wales.

Mary McCarthy - Just finished reading ....

The Group by Mary McCarthy (audio-book)


8/10

I read this book many years ago when I was a young feminist, learning about woman's place in the world. When I saw it on my local library shelf, I had forgotten its power and just got it out for curiosity's sake.

Do any women, nowadays still say 'I wouldn't call myself a feminist?' It is a crime if they do, and they should be made to read this book to remind them what women who do call themselves feminist have achieved for all women in the last 50 or so years.

Mary McCarthy wrote this in 1963. It is a novel that follows the lives of a group of young women who have just graduated from the elite Vassar College in New York in 1933. They are mostly intelligent and well-heeled; of 'good pedigree' and are expected to achieve success in work or in marriage.
We learn, by following their lives over the next few years, leading up to America's involvement in WWII, about the married lives, the single lives, the working lives, the sex lives of women of this class at that time. We learn about the inaccessibility of contraception, the lack of information about sex, the double standards held up for men and women, the stigmatisation of those who choose to go their own way. We learn what it is like to be in a relationship where the man holds all the real power, and how difficult it is to get a divorce. We learn that a man can have his wife committed as insane, with very little psychiatric evidence. We learn that men and male scientists believed that they knew more about child-rearing than new and experienced mothers did.
It is a book of its time. It is a good read. It is an important reminder for all of us that we should continue to think about inequalities and how history still impacts on who we are in the present.

My secret diary July 1973 (iii) Dover, Calais, France and Spain

July 27th (Fri)
Went to Barry Aron's - new brace, only have to wear this at night lot of sewing. Pack tomorrow.

July 28th
At last set off! Quite exciting! Finished dresses in morning. Ok. Set off about 11 o'clock (pm) - late. Me and Ju, Ju's mum and dad, Richard in one car. Uncle Alan, Margaret, Jacqueline and Alison and Kathy in the other + caravan + trailer. Turned back to Ju's twice to get things that had been forgotten (Ju and I kept laughing). Drove through night.

July 29th (Sun)
Crossed over from Dover to Calais. Beautiful standing on front of boat with breeze and sea - early morning. Spent day driving through France. Lovely. Stopped for tea every now and then

July 30th
Still driving through France - behind with diary so can't remember details. stopped at various parking places etc - I like France but the people didn't seem friendly (remember woman in toilets!!). Slept night at place with no loos.

July 31st
Crossed France/Spain border. Stopped in cafe. Nice friendly waiters etc. Tried Sangria - drink made of red wine, cognac and fruit. Gorgeous!. Arrived at Camping Giverola Pola. Put caravan on plot 27 because arrived a day early. We all went out. I got tipsy off sangria and whisky

My secret diary 1973 July (ii) A lot of sewing going on.

July 16th
No entry

July 17th (Tue)
Don't feel like writing today. Went to see Fantasia - Walt Disney and symphonies - beautiful. Julie couldn't come.

July 18th
Broke up from school. Went to Tiffany's in Rochdale* with Ju, Suzanne, Cn and 2 others. Q good. Not enough fellas. Very, very, very tired.

July 19th (Thur)
Are me and Ju falling out of friendship? Went up town with mum. Bought some best pants - blue from C&A. Got passport. Da-da!!

July 20th
Thank Snoopy I've got somewhere to retreat to when mum gets on my nerves. If I hear one more word of warning about Spain* and bloody Spaniards - I'll scream. What's wrong? Don't they trust me**? I'm sick. I'm worried that Ju and me won't get on. Bought some material today.

July 21st
Spent all day getting ready for hols - go on 28th. Been making blouse. Nearly finished. French have dropped a test nuclear bomb. Pigs.

July 22nd (Sun)
Nowt to sy but in a bad mood 'cos tired. Been sewing. Finished blouse. Onto a dress now.

July 23rd
Been sewing and shopping all day. Bye bye

July 24th
Been sewing all day and good news! I think me and Ju will be friends really. I hope so!!

July 25th (Wed)
Got lilo off Susan Greenwood for hols. Went shopping with S and Ju. Bought sandals and cardigan. White. Dinner at Julie's. Sewing. Peter Hadfield came. She's seeing him tonight. Ok.

July 25th 
Nothing much to say - again busy preparing for the holidays - a bit nervous, not excited.


*Commentary
July 18 - Tiffany's was a night club
July 20 - I don't think that my diary has previously mentioned that Ju and I were going on a big post-'O' level holiday, with Ju's mum and dad, her aunty and uncle and sister and brother and cousins. We were going camping in Spain, and I would be away from home for about a month! It was a fantastic opportunity for a holiday. I had never been abroad before. ** Poor mum. Like all mothers of teenagers she was trying to protect me by warning me of the dangers out there. Like all teenagers I thought I knew everything. Like all mums she only knew the bits about me that I allowed her to know. Like all teenagers I rejected the protection and advice that I clearly did need. Mum's warnings about Spanish men seemed a world apart from my close encounter with an English man the week before. I heeded the advice of Cathy and Claire in 'Jackie' magazine more than I listened to mum.

Kazuo Ishiguro - Just finished reading ....

Never Let Me Go (2010) by Kazuo Ishiguro


9.5/10

If you haven't read this book I think you should. On the face of it, it is about a slightly alternative world where some schools are set aside for the raising of a community of 'donors'. I don't want to give too much away, in case you read it, but these are special young people who will not live the same live as normal people. It is a slow book, and so I was frustrated sometimes, but I think it had to be slow because we had to immerse ourselves in their upbringing and their personalities and the minutiae of their daily lives - all the better to be hit by what their futures would be like.
I pondered such things as - do I like Ruth? What is it with Tommy? Do I like Kathy? Are these people normal - why can't I connect with them - is it the fault of the author, or is it the brilliance of the author?

The end is shocking. What is worse, I was shocked and saddened as I read the end of the book, because I thought I understood it. But the next day, as I was thinking about it, a wave of depression and despondency struck me, as I began to understand the bigger relevance of the book: its meaning for me and its implications about the meaning of life. At the most depressing moment of my thinking I had an insight that, perhaps, all our education, culture, friendships and sports etc, are just amusements to occupy us till we die. Puts a new perspective on being an occupational therapist.

Sorry - I am inclined towards a depressive way of thinking sometimes, so I am also skilled at shaking it off, switching on the positive thoughts and getting on with life. So - Kazuo - you had a big impact, but please don't do it again.

My secret diary 1973 July (i) Interesting times, but not at school.

July 1 - 3
No entries

July 4th (Wed)
Going to Baileys* tonight. From work* I went home to get a few things and then walked back to Ju's.
**see below

July 5th
Work is ok but boring. Very boring.

July 6th
Well, finished work at the hospital. Doris was sad to see us go I think. Don't think Emily was bothered.

July 7th (Sat)
Mum and dad were annoyed because of the time I arrived home last night (this morning). Went to town and bought a bikini. Went to Ju's at night because Norma's in Brum and mum and dad are going out.

July 8th
Behind with diary. Week before last Ju stayed here while ma and pa went away and week after I stayed at Ju's. Got £40 from hospital job. Back to school tomorrow. Worried in case M comes to our house.

July 9th (Mon)
Ah well, back at school. Done nothing all day, just being given books and mucking around. Miss Rogerson told us about film theatre - pretty good, yeah? Nervous about M. Got passport photos.

July 10th
Another tremendously exciting day at school. Done nowt. Except in Russian where we read poetry. Julie skived off school - just like that! Bored!! Oh, and saw swimming pool for the first time. Pretty nice*

July 11th (Wed)
Ye gods! another boring day at school - just nothing to say really. Ju went to see Ruth, student who we met at the hospital, last night. She's coming with us to the folk night on Thursday. Suzanne and Danielle (Belgian) are coming too.

July 12th
Another wonderful day at school! Would you believe there were 2 people in the geography lesson?! Russian was terrible. Miss Hatch is still rotten to us. Went to Royton Catholic Club with Ju and Ruth - it was an Irish night - pretty good.

July 13th
Arts Festival Day at school. Suzanne brought Danielle (Belgian girl) to school. She must think we're nuts - mannequin parades, discos, exhibitions of painting and models etc. She's a really nice person to get on with. Want to cry. Felt quiet and mum said I was being snobbish.

July 14th (Sat)
Went to degree ceremony at Brum University. Norma Taylor BSc. Boring but I felt so proud of my Norma. Met her Welsh friend Mags. Went to dance at Tame Valley Tennis Club. No good.

July 15th 
Ju and Suzanne slept last night. Came home at midnight. This morning me and Norma went to a warehouse to look at record-players for £7 - had none in - go next week. Oh! What can I do to be independent? My family (except Norm and dog) get on my nerves.


*Commentary
July 4 - Baileys was a nightclub that had recently opened in Oldham. Julie and I both had jobs in the laundry at the main Oldham General Hospital for a week or two. Very hot, hard work, hard on the hands. I recall that we had to wear white cotton gloves to handle the hot sheets as they came through the pressing rollers, but they burnt through quickly.
July 10 - every pupil in the school had helped raise money for the building of this pool.

**Extra Different Commentary
Dear reader. 2 things of import happened on 4th July 1973.
(1) I had a letter from my ex-boyfriend Rob, asking me to go back with him. The letter is still tucked into my diary. I didn't go back to him.
(2) I got chatted up by an older man as I was walking down the road. This had very unpleasant consequences and ended up with me nearly being raped a few days later. I'm not going to transcribe the bits in the diary relating to it because I am very embarrassed at the naivety of my young self, and the lack of discrimination that I showed (I know I shouldn't be). Funnily, whether because of my age, or the era I lived in, I didn't recognise it as attempted rape at the time, in fact I seemed to have just carried on reporting normal things in my diary. That truth only occurred to me many years later when I was telling someone about it. And attempted rape it was, for sure.

Anita Shreve - Just finished reading

Sea Glass by Anita Shreve
10/10

I think this is a perfect modern novel. I don't think I can class it as a great book. It isn't a Dickens. Nor is it a Wolf Hall. But it was a perfect read.
Each chapter was based around one of the 5 or 6 key characters as they moved through the unfolding story. Anita Shreve is very good at providing a quiet, understated backdrop, rich in detail, for the drama that emerges, sometimes shockingly. She is also good at giving a feel for an era.
Here we are taken to America, just as the depression of the 1930s is beginning, but our characters don't know that. People wonder about their futures; people can't imagine their futures; people take risks; people have hope, or worries. And then the market crashes.
It is about relationships, love, the gulf between classes in America. It is also about Marxist politics and state collusion with capitalist industrialists.
And, most importantly, it is about finding value and beauty in pieces of old glass flung up amongst the detritus on a beach.
I like it that Anita Shreve's novels are all linked to each other, often through a particular house on this particular beach, at different points in its history.
Well satisfied.

But now I must read a book by a male author, as I am trying to do girl-boy-girl-boy!

My secret diary 1973 June (ii) Exams end and laundry-work begins

June 16 Sat
Auntie May's welcome home party - you can imagine what it was like. Beautiful weather, been sunbathing. Marion and kids were there. Great to see Auntie May. Mum and Auntie Emma had a row!!

June 17
Good grief! I've just seen a gang of Teddy Boys walking down the street! Teddy Boys - I ask you! Spent today in the car when I should have been revising for exams. Took Auntie Emma back home*, and Auntie May came too

June 18
Rats!* I feel rotten. I've not felt particularly bad during these exams but this damned geography is getting me down and mum keeps moaning. They're going on holiday next week and I'm at home with Ju and dog. Me and Ju are going to work at Boundary Park*.

June 19
At last Geog's over with. Not too bad. Me and Ju working at Boundary Laundry tomorrow.Mum and dad going on holiday and Ju's staying at our house - should be fun. Been gathering Julie's present up. Got her joss sticks, tights, nougat bar, necklace. Plan to get her a record.

June 20
Went to get National Insurance card with Julie. Went to library. When she had gone I bought her present - David Bowie's
Drive in Saturday
Also got her a candle and some wrapping paper. That's all! Done a lot of biol revision, hardly any Russ.

June 21 (Thurs)
Had biol and Russ exams - not too bad - quite satisfied. Only got Russ left tomorrow. Went to see film with Ju and S at ABC 'That'll be the Day' with Ringo and David Essex. Film about teddy boys in the 1950s and things. Great! A bit 'cough-cough'* but good.

June 22
Last exam! Russ - not too bad. Hey - guess who phoned? Terry! While I was at school. He said he's phone later. He hasn't yet. Me and Ju and Andrea went to Catholic club - okay.

June 23 Sat
First day of freedom. What did I do today? Oh - went up town with SQ - she bought Ju some dangly ear-rings. Also I bought some sticky stars, all different colours -see front of diary. To stick on my arms and face and other places. I'm not worried about 'O' level results yet. Feel v tired. mum and dad go away tomorrow.

June 24  Ju's birthday.
(no entry made)

June 25
Got a letter from Rob. Made me cry. Don't know what to do. He wants me to go back with him - hell -

June 26
Tired and bored. What to do about Terry?

June 27 - 30
(no entries)*


* Commentary
June 17 - Emma live outside of Sheffield. I loved that fantastic drive over the Isle of Skye road, across the moors, high up, with just grass, no trees, bleak.
June 18 - if you are familiar with the Peanuts cartoon, you'll spot me adopting the language of Charlie Brown, Snoopy and co. Boundary Park was the local name for our local hospital.
June 21 - I think 'a bit cough-cough' was our way of saying it had scenes of a sexual nature!
June 27 - I suspect that working in a hospital laundry sapped my energy!

My secret diary 1973 June (i) waiting by the telephone & 'O' levels arrive

June 1
You know, Terry is something different - I think it's because he's Irish and mature and experienced. I like older fellas! I phoned Ju and then phoned him. He lives in a flat with three other fellas. Couldn't tell what he was saying half the time, the line was crackly. Been very tired. Didn't get in 2 this morning. He wants me to go over to see him at his place.

June 2 Sat
Oh I hate myself. Keep trying to do revision but my mind won't take it. Oh I'm too tired to write much. I'm excited about Terry. He's an experience that mustn't be missed. All the fun of the fair. Told Ju about him.

June 3
God, I've been nervous all day, with butterflies in my stomach, don't know whether that's about exams or because Terry said he'd phone - he didn't. I told mum he might phone - she's been giving me pitying looks all day. Could be he's lost, or got the wrong phone number. Could be he didn't want to ring or he forgot. Don't know whether to phone him or not now.

June 4
He still didn't phone today. SQ phoned. I told her about him. She's going out with that Geoff from the Parochial. I'm not so bothered today, although I would like him to phone. Norma came home. Got an exam tomorrow. Eng Lang. It still hasn't struck me. Oh Terry!

June 5 (Tues)
Well, Eng Lang over with at last. Maths next, on Friday. Eng Lang not bad, in fact ok. Got some joss sticks - beautiful. Got some for Julie's birthday too. Terry's not phoned. Ju says I should phone him. Norma says I shouldn't. What the hell should I do?

June 6
revised

June 7
Went to SQ's with Julie and did some maths revision. and some talking - too much - I feel frightened now. I phoned Terry!! From a phone box on the way home, after consulting Ju and S. He sounded a bit funny but nice later on. He's asked me to go to a dance at the college tomorrow night. To go or not to go?!

June 8 (Fri)
I'm in bed early. 9 o'clock. I need it. Had Maths I this morning - not too bad. terry phoned - can't decide whether he was trying to put me off going to the dance or not - but I'm not going - I can't get back from Rochdale. Went to dentist's. I met Miss Gartside* on the way there and had a nice talk to her. Sunny.

June 9 Sat
Oh gee whizz. Such a beautiful programme on the radio this morning with this fella playing all the old rock and roll records - Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, Jerry Lewis etc. Great! Me and Norma loved it. Stella came yesterday - got me a Saturday job, starts in September. Not done as much revision as I should.

June 10
Nothing but revision

June 11
Eng Lit - rotten
Revision

June 12 Tues
Revision - not as bad as I expected. Revision. So tired.

June 13
Maths + Geog. Maths not bad. Geog rotten.
Revision and Bob Dylan on radio

June 14
Chemistry was horrible. The worst exam we've had. Loads of calculations (inc 2 on B section) - hope I've not failed. No organic. No industrial, no chlorine. Frightened*. Made nightie out of dad's shirt.

June 15 (Fri)
Beautiful weather. Sunbathed, revised, made halter neck top - v revealing!! Planted in garden. Done a lot. Feel v tired. Auntie May's home tomorrow.*

*Commentary
June 8 - Miss Gartside was our Religious Education teacher. She seemed quite old, as I recall. With soft round cheeks, and grey hair in a soft bun on top of her head, with a lot of kirby grips. She smiled a lot and was very gentle. She was also responsible for teaching us to write in italics. Julie excelled at this, and I didn't! We had special dip-in ink pens, with ink-wells.
June 14 - these were the days when we were assessed solely on exam performance - no course work at all.
June 15 - Auntie May was my favourite auntie. One of her sons had emigrated to South Africa, and had a family over there. I think Auntie May went over twice in her life, to see him. This was her first visit (with her husband, Uncle Herbert). Now, looking back, I don't know how they afforded the trip.

My secret diary 1973 May (iii) Boppers and Levis

May 23 Wed
Sorry, tired, don't feel like writing. Going to Whiskers on Friday. Julie not coming. She wants to (I think) but she's not letting on. Been listening to Bob Dylan on the radio

May 24
Behind with diary. Feel tired. Seems funny - it will be last ever English lesson on Friday*.

May 25
Broke up from school. Very sunny weather. I only got three mistakes in a Russian dictation!! Everyone else got 12 or 7 or something. I'm sure she thinks I've cheated. I didn't! Went to Whiskas. Ju didn't. Is our friendship finishing? Oh what can I do? 2 fellas tried to pick me and S up.

May 26 (Sat)
Nowt exciting to say. beautiful weather. Spent a lot of day outside revising Eng Lit. Didn't do as much as I should have. Saw a very scary film on tellly, hope I can sleep. About black magic and things. Remember that smock and shorts I made? I cut the smock into a short blouse yesterday. Q nice.

May 27
Been sort of half doing Physics revision all day. I felt faint this morning and mum was ever so nice. I think it was periods. Beautiful weather again. There's a girl about my age lives across the road from us. I'm curious about her. I thought she was a bopper* once because of her coat, but she was wearing flared Levis today. Wish I was brave.

May 28
Bank holiday. Some holiday when you've got to revise all the time. Actually, went to Auntie Emma's (took biol books with me). Took dog. Wish I was walking up on the hills. Wish I was free, no worries. No ties. Julie phoned and we were quite friendly. I'm worried, she's had a row with Asda. She might get fired.

May 29 (Tues)
At last, started Geog revision. Feel as though i've done quite a bit. Julie came after dinner to copy up physics. She's invited me to Bailey's on Thursday. I want to go. Susan Greenwood phoned - okay. Not much to say. V tired. Norma started her exams ay uni today.

May 30
Hardly anything at all to write. Chem revision allday. Made a watchstrap when my mind was clogged up. Phoned Ju. Might be going to Bailey's tomorrow. Going to dentists. Why does time pass so quickly? Oh why?

May 31st (Thurs)
Ye gods! Went to Baileys. New place where the Astoria used to be. Met a fella called Terry, or Harry or something. He's Irish, a student and weird. He studies maths and science - going to be a teacher. He tried to go a bit too far in the back of his car. I stopped him!*

*Commentary
May 24 - and Miss Turner - scary though you were - I still thank you from the bottom of my heart for teaching me how to express myself competently in writing and to love literature.
May 27 - I think we used to use the word 'bopper' in a derogatory way - a teeny-bopper - someone who might follow the Bay City Rollers, maybe?
May 31 - I have struggled with honesty vs editting here. I have edited a bit, but also been a bit honest. A braver person might have thought it is no big deal to reveal all from 39 years ago, but I find myself trying to preserve some of the privacy of my 16 year old self. Or is that my 'self'? I think these dilemmas will get more difficult as I become an older teenager. So I wonder if I will have to stop this publishing at some point?

My secret diary 1973 May (ii) the green eyed monster

May 16
God, I've been in a really rotten mood with Julie all day. It's a wonder she's still talking to me. Well, everyone gets on my nerves. Miss Hatch she wasn't get enough work from some of us. Cheeky devil. I've done Russ every day since orals.

May 17 Thurs
Too tired to write anything. went to Manchester Festival. Got annoyed cos Ju kept wanting to come home. Me Ju and S. Some nice looking lads.

May 18
Normal day. felt like a goody-goody over something in chemistry. Can't tell all of it - too long, but we were in the right and Mis Rogerson said so (about Section A papers). Anyway going to Manchester University tomorrow to look around. Good night.

May 19 Sat
Went to look round Man University this morning with S, her sister and Jayne. Was a bit boring. When I came home mum said she's seen Julie in Asda. Ju's going out with a boy called Geoff. I'm jealous, but I'm not going to show it.

May 20 Sun
Done a lot of work today. It's dawning on me that I can't afford to much around - no time. Good film on TV - 'On the Beach' by Neville Shute.

May 21
Julie hasn't mentioned to me that she is going out with Geoff. She said something to S. I was quiet and sulky, tried not to be but couldn't help it. She asked me who - in front of everyone! She's going to disco with him on Tues. Arranged for me to go too I think.

May 22 Tue
It cracked today. I guess it's mainly my fault why me and Ju weren't getting on so well yesterday. Anyway I nearly got mad with her today. She told me all about Geoff and how she expected me to go to the club with them (Geoff and friends) How's that for a blind date?! I was angry but I'll try not to be.

William Boyd - just finished reading

Restless by William Boyd 7 /10 I've just had the pleasure of reading my first William Boyd book. It's great when you open up a new author for discovery. It was a spy thriller! Not what I would normally choose, but not a normal spy thriller, I suspect. Makes you think about subterfuge, bluffs and double bluffs. A woman discovers that her mother was a second world war spy and is not the person she has led everyone to believe that she is. The best bit is coming to understand why the book is called 'restless'. Looking forward to more Boyds.

My secret diary 1973 May (i) - being disgusted with people in general

May 1st (Tues)
Don't feel like writing much. A horrible day. Tired, depressed. Physics section B test was horrible. I'm sure I've failed.

May 2
Went to see Miss Crabtree* (everyone does roundabout 'O' level time). Told her I'm doing maths, chem and biol for 'A' level. Julie's lot started French orals today. It still hasn't dawned on me that 'O's are coming!

May 3
Tired. Fed up. Did such a lot of Russian today. Orals next Thursday!!

May 4 (Fri)
I like Friday but I'm very tired at the moment. Oh, mum is so upset and depressed and I do want to cheer her up so much, and dad keeps going on about money all the time. Revising tonight. Ju had her French oral. I'm ever so frightened.

May 5
Been up town, got library books, got folder to keep papers in. Newspapers on strike. Cup final between Leeds and Sunderland (2nd division) and Sunderland won!! Isn't that great!?* Ju phoned. I think I annoyed her. I told her I didn't want to sleep over tonight. I'm so tired.

May 6 (Sun)
Ju came to do revision at our house because the funeral party was at their house (Ju's grandad's died). Ju was upset because she hadn't done a lot of revision so I tried to cheer her up. Think I did. Just seen a terrific film on TV called 'The Birds' by Alfred Hitchcock.

May 7
sorry. Too tired

May 8
Today I'm tired. Russian orals on Thursday. In tears all night. Mum and dad were really nice about it. I explained about Miss Hatch, I don't think they believed me.

May 9 (Wed)
behind with diary. too tired to write.

May 10 (Thur)
Horrible day. Had russian oral with lady called Mrs Mills. Nice lady, not nice oral. Had to rush to dentists after school. Hatch let us out late and I was late at Mr Aron's. He did something to my brace.
это все*

May 11
At the moment I'm in a good mood, you see some of us - Ju, me, S, Lesley and Jayne went to the Cat's Whiskers. q good. I sometimes envy Ju. A lot of lads seem to fancy her. Anyway, all the others wen, and me and Lesley were left waiting for her dad, and this fella (must have been 35!) asked me for a dance. I did cos Lesley didn't want to. Kept flattering me. Then I went home.

May 12
Feel very tired. Went to Christies cancer hospital with school this morning. V interesting. I was a bit frightened because we went in high radiation zones. At the moment I feel happy. That fella yesterday worked wonders.

May 13 (Sun)
Happy. Even though it's a sunday it's a nice day. Ju phoned and I teased her by not telling her what happened at the Whiskers. Did a lot of revision. Took dog for walk. Sunny but not warm. This long haired fell gave me a long deep sexy stare*. I wanted to say 'Happy Sunday' but I didn't.

May 14
Shall I go to Cats Whiskers on Thursday with S? Ju is knocking about with her new Asda friends a bit. Going to opening of Festival of Manchester on Thursday.

May 15
I feel disgusted with people in general. I can think of 4 occasions wen people with info have used it to get what they want. See green book.* Me and dad have had such a nice talk. I gave him my views. He listened. I feel happy but tired and confused.

*Commentary
May 2nd Miss Crabtree was our headteacher. I could never really take her seriously. She didn't have the authority in her aura that some of the staff had.
May 5 - My partner Paul, who I didn't know then, is a life-long Sunderland supporter so I must discuss this with him when he gets home!
May 10 - Russian for 'that's all'
May 13 - I'm so embarrassed transcribing this!
May 15 - I've no idea what this is about

My secret diary 1973 April (iii) - doing no revision and a new knick-knack shop

April 23rd (Mon)
Thank god today's gone without any disasters or anything. I was frightened. Been clearing kitchen and revising all day. I get so annoyed when people say me and Norma never do any work. What do they think we do at school then?

April 24th
Oh! School tomorrow. Don't feel like saying much. I'm tired. Auntie Emma's gone home. (She was staying). Listening to oldies on the radio. Started to make halter neck top. Very daring and quite disgusting really. I don't wear bra with it.

April 25th (Wed)
I don't think I fit into my family. Nobody's on the same wavelength as me.  They don't laugh when I laugh, cry when I cry. They're different. I don't fit in with anyone. If I never find anyone I'll have to be a loner.

April 26th
I felt quite happy for quite a long time today but now I feel sad again. Not for myself for a change but for Norma and mum. They keep arguing. Russian orals on 10th May.

April 27th (Fri)
Feel v v tired. Done hardly any revision today. Made new pencil case. Swimming pool's finished*. Mum is depressed but I feel a lot happier. Tomorrow I really settle down to revise. Got James Taylor poster off Sara.

April 28th
Done hardly any revision. Lady's looking beautiful today. She's on a diet. She's been chewing on a bone all day. Exciting discovery!! A shop has opened up near us as a sort of knick-knack shop, with beads and things*. Tired now. Good night. Happy days.

April 29th (Sun)
Took norma back to Brum. Last time we will be doing, I should think*. Oh gorgeous weather. Makes me feel so restless. I want to live in a room of my own with friends like Dinnsy and people*. I wish I was pretty like Norma. I hope she passes her exams.

April 30th
Horrid day! Bloody physics test! A section of last year's 'O' level. I felt so tired when I came home. Done no revision, just homework. I suddenly can't do my maths homework. I'm frightened. A pipe burst in the kitchen connected to the washing machine, and water squirted all over the ceiling like rain. So funny.*

*Commentary
April 27 - for years my school had interminable fund-raising events to build a swimming pool. I recall that we each had a card with a drawing of a brick wall on it, and we had to sell the bricks to friends and relatives. I can't recall swimming much in it, because by the time I got to 6th form I avoided anything sporty like the plague.
April 28th - it was a heavenly shop to my eyes. I can remember it now, with joss sticks and hippy beads and bangles.
April 29 - my big sister was just finishing her last year at university studying Nuclear Physics.(!!) Dinnsy and people were Norma's university friends
April 30 - bet mum didn't think so.

Went to see - The Winslow Boy

The Winslow Boy by Terence Rattigan at the Bolton Octagon


I think we are very lucky to have such a great theatre just a few miles down the road. We have had season tickets now for the last 3 or 4 years, and have enjoyed every season. David Thacker, the director, puts a fantastic programme together every year, with a mix of old favourites, classics, new plays and plays of local interest. Top class acting, good sets and top class directing.

Full of superlatives today; I think the Winslow Boy is a great play. It is about the degree to which people should be expected to give up their human rights for the greater good; it is about how far people should go to defend principles; it is about family relationships and the role of women in society. Phew.

Go and see it if you can. Let right be done.

Ben Elton - Just finished reading . . .

Chart-Throb by Ben Elton (audio-book)

6/10

Well, this is the first Ben Elton book that I've read. What a good bit of fun, that made me laugh in the car. It's all about a TV talent show like Britain's Got Talent (or whichever one has Simin Cowell on it). I don;t watch BGT or the X-factor, although I have peeped into them sometimes.
Ben Elton is ruthlessly cruel and cynical in his critique - he takes it to an extreme, but we have to ask ourselves about the extent to which the TV-watching audience get manipulated, and about the hopes and heartbreak going on in the background.
But all that sounds a bit smart-arse. It's a good comedy read. Full-stop.

A Russian connection?

How come I have had 20 pageviews from Russia in the last day?

My secret diary 1973 April (ii) - the problem of motivating 16 year olds to revise

April 13 (Fri)
Oh I feel dead funny. It's a mixture of being fed up, jealous and tired. Jealous? Yes - of Julie. 1st, she's started working in Asda and there are lots of girls there - she says they're nice. Also jealous of her because that chap fancied her last night (X). Went to dentist today (Mr Aron). Norma came. Also I got a watch from Green Shield stamps.! Timex.

April 14th
Boy do I feel jealous again! Ju said that she's met nice people at Asda (girls and fellas). Been helping dad fix up the new washer. Not done much revising really.

April 15th

I hate Sunday! Oh I just can't help it, everyone's depressed on Sunday, mostly mum, who cried a lot today, but now she's gone out with dad. We've tried the washer* and the blasted thing won't work. Done some biology revision. Awful day.

April 16th (Mon)
Gosh I'm really looking forward to that dance tomorrow (at the Royton Catholic Club). Me, Ju, RH, SO, C and (snag) C's friend N, who is only 13 years old! They say she is mature though. Done some physics revision. Put my hair in rollers tonight. Hope it's okay. Get sick of Norma teasing sometimes. I love my mum. Lady's poorly.

April 17th
Well, only done a little bit of revision. Seem to have been messing about a lot. The dance we went to wasn't too bad really!!!  - considering it was the first one. Hardly anyone turned up and us 6 were the only ones to dance half the night. N wasn't too bad - very mature (too mature!) but ok. I quite like C now. No terrif lads.

April 18
Spent half the day at Ju's wasting time but happy. Done revision this afternoon - I keep going into horrible depressed mood, where I want to be alone and away from Norma and mum. But I'm happy alone, don;t they understand?

April 19 (Thur)
Oh I don't feel like writing. Went to Ju's. Slept night. We went to folk night.

April 20th
Back to school soon!! Done hardly any revision. I'm frightened. Been wanting to cry all day. People think I'm hard and cold 'cos I don;t cry in front of them, but I break my heart when they're not there. Had row with Norma. Cried over film on telly about St Bernadette. Feel fed up.

April 21st (Sat)
A nothing day. Went to town with Norma and spent about 3 hours looking for material for her. Found only one that was nice. I'm doing yoga. Planning lots of things to make for holidays. I hope it doesn't become more important than 'O' levels for me. It won't. Dad's pinning his hopes on me I think.

April 22nd
Don't feel like writing anything today.


*Commentary
April 15 = prior to this we had a twin-tub washing machine. This was our first automatic, front-loader.

Something I marvel at...

I'm not sure who I write this blog for. Me probably! :-)
*but* I do get such a thrill that it is read by people all over the world. When I look at my viewing statistics I can see that my blog has been accessed by an audience from 10 different countries in the last 24 hours. So there are, for example, people in Ghana, Japan, India, Brazil, Ireland who know something about my life as a 16 year old schoolgirl. I wonder how it compares with their / your experiences.

Joseph O'Connor - Just finished reading....

The Salesman by Joseph O'Connor (audio-book in the car)

9/10

I forgot to mention this one which I listened to a week or so ago.
I have read 'Star of the Sea' by Joseph O'Connor and thought it was great, so when I saw this in the library I snatched it up to listen to on my way to and from work.
Not a car to listen to in busy traffic!! Be warned - there is a lot of violence in this. I don't read / listen to / watch violence if I can help it, so I nearly abandoned this book. Something about the narrator, and the actor reading the book kept me hooked, but I could only listen to it in 3 minute bursts, interspersed with a little light radio. Sometimes it was so awful I had to switch the player off in heavy traffic, where I had to concentrate.
It is a very, very moving story told as a diary that a man (The Salesman) writes for his daughter who is in a coma, having been raped and badly injured by a gang of thugs in a robbery. I'm not giving anything away - he searches out one of these guys in order to get some kind of justice for his daughter, but it becomes more complicated than you can imagine.
Glad I stuck with it through the violence. It merits a high mark for leaving me confused about relationships, thuggery and love.

Abandoned books, left, right and centre .......

Oh dear.
I have always been an avid reader. Now why have I lost the ability to concentrate on challenging books?

• Is it that I have my brain cluttered with other things?
• Is it because we have moved house recently and it is taking me a while to settle with the dust?
• Is it because, having got older, I am less likely to stick with books that aren't immediately and obviously rewarding (on the premise that life is too short)?
• Is it because I am not making space or time to read?

Having enjoyed AS Byatt's 'The Children's Book', I have just tried 'Possession' and got stuck in a tedious intellectual mire of 2 academics reading the letters of 2 Victorian poets. These were letters about religion, myth, poetry, philosophy. No, no, no, no .....

Having enjoyed several William Faulkner books (even 'The Sound and the Fury' which is notoriously challenging) I have abandoned 'The Reivers' because I just wasn't interested in the story getting off the ground.

Even my in-car audio reading is in a desperate state! I have abandoned a biography of Coco Chanel (what on earth made me pick it up in the first place?!) because I couldn't find myself interested in anything she thought or did.


So - I am currently listening to Ben Elton's 'Chart-Throb' in the car - am on the last CD, so will finish it and report back. Am reading this because it was the only audio-book in a recent visit to an Oxfam shop.

I have just started reading (real book not audio) a William Boyd - 'Restless' - because my other half rates William Boyd, and also because in a recent article in the Guardian Brenda Blethyn the actress chose William Boyd as one of her guests, along with Timothy & Mrs Spall and Charles Dickens, at an imaginary dinner party. I love Brenda as an actress but whether she can be relied on for author recommendations, I don't yet know. I'll let you know.

Niall Williams - Just finished reading............

As it is in Heaven by Niall Williams

7/10

This was lent to me by a friend, after I admired Colm Toibin's Brooklyn. Another elequent Irish writer, slow paced and skilled in savouring words and language.
It's a love story in more ways than one - the love of a man for a woman, the love of music, the love of a father for his son, the love of a man for his dead wife.
I got frustrated because it moved so slowly. I nearly abandoned it. In fact I did something very unusual for me - I peeped near the end of the book to see where it was going. I didn't abandon it, and I'm so glad I didn't because it becomes a compulsive story.
I thought I knew how it ended but the author packed a punch in that I hadn't seen coming despite my peeping.

I will read more of Niall Williams I expect.

My secret diary 1973 April - VAT, revision and beauty treatment

April 1 (Sun)
April Fool's Day (no jokes), Mothers Day (got mum some flowers. Proper pressy later). V.A.T. Day - new tax. I feel really tired all of a sudden. Done hardly any revision. Been doing homework and reading and sulking all day. Might cost £60 to go on holiday. Dad didn't seem too worried!!

April 2
You see nobody listens to what I have to say and then when they do listen I make a mess of it. It makes me feel insignificant. Maybe because I'm just another 'Unknown Citizen'. I'm so sad. Dad's been working solidly the last few days on VAT and he's ill with his ulcer. And he lost his temper with mum, and mum and Norma argued, and I shorted one of the main fuses and now the lights aren't working in the living room and I hate this house and I just feel like crying.

April 3
They're still not listening to me. Sometimes I say something and they just start talking about something else. They don't mean to, but one day I'm going to get so annoyed. Norma's given me a skirt (long black silky maxi with little white dots) - lovely. Music competition* at school - boring as usual. Started a wee bit of revision. I'm fed up. Keep getting a pain in my head.

April 4
Break up tomorrow for Easter hols - 'O' levels soon afterwards. Oh what's the matter with me? I feel like crying again. Dad's in a bad mood 'cos he's been working late - he takes it out on mum. TVs all wrong again.

April 5
Behind with diary. I've slept out at Ju's for 3 nights, or Ju's slept here. We went to Royton catholic Club Folk night - great, fell in love with a fella who looks like a french onion seller! He's only little like me - a singer. Dead good night - S.O came - we slept at Ju's.

April 6
Went home for dinner time, after going to dentist with Ju. Finished the beautiful black silky skirt with white spots that N gave me and we (me, J, S.O, C and a girl called Claire) went to the Whiskers and had a really great freak out. Dave's sister was there so were some of the girls from the shop.

April 7
Slept at Ju's last night and had a lovely lazy morning just dancing and being happy. After dinner went to Asda, where Ju's got a job (Sats). Went to see mum and dad who were looking at washers. In doing a good deed (carrying mum's shopping out), a horrid old man nearly arrested us for pilfering! He made me and Ju look stupid in front of the whole store but when mum came up with receipt he was ever so nice. Typical!

April 8 (Sun)
Ju slept last night. I feel like crying. Don't know why, it's silly really. You see we did some revision then we went to see the Oldham Tinkers at the Oldham Hotel* with Norma and K, but me and Ju left early, Ju to catch last bus and me 'cos I was tired and also wanted to catch last bus and not have to depend on N and K to pay a taxi for me. N and K fussed about it and didn't want me to go. It's made me feel uncomfy now. I'm tired.

April 9
Quite pleased with myself. Although I got up late I've done quite a bit of revision (physics, all electromag and a bit of magnetism). Not much else to say. Oh that goregeous Graham who worked at the Spar has gone and joined the army today (sob). Forgot to phone Ju.

April 10
Oh yawn, yawn, groan, groan. I'm really, really tired. Got up late this morning, started chemistry revision. After dinner went to visit SG but she was at school so came home and revised some more. Done quite a bit (1 1/2 books out of 6 1/2) Ju phoned and we made arrangements about Thursday. C isn;t coming. Goodnight.

April 11
Hardly anything to write. A lazy day really. Done some Russ vocab but that's all. Done a beauty treatment tonight. Washed hair (used vinegar, oil and perfume), steamed and cleansed face and done eyebrows (drastically). Going to folk club tomorrow night. I love everyone!


*Commentary
April 3 - my school had an annual music competition. I think that people could win points towards the inter-house competition, as well as prestige. I ddin't have a musical bone in my body, so never entered. I seem to recall that we had to sit on the floor in the main hall listening to endless renditions of 'The Ash Grove', 'Claire de Lune' and 'Greensleeves' on the piano or the recorder.
April 8 - this is (was?) a pub in Oldham. Did I tell you that my mum and dad first met there? It would have been shortly after the war and mum was attracted to dad partly because he had a watch and an overcoat, so she thought he must be well off.

My secret diary 1973 - a quick catch up for March

Here is a thematic summary of what this 16 year old got up to in March 1973

FRIENDS AND LEISURE
We all got free tickets to go to an over-19s 'Girlie Night' at the Cat's Whiskers in Oldham. We were very excited. It was great - we had a terrific time. Only drank Coke. We entered a 'Funky Chicken' competition.
Some girls at school planning a big party.
Reading third book of the Gormenghast trilogy - Titus Alone.
Joined S's youth club, where we spent an evening jiving.
Went with Ju and her mum and dad to new social club opposite them - enjoyed it.
6 of us had a great night out dancing at the Cat's Whiskers - jiving and twisting and all kinds of things. Ju trapped with a gorgeous boy who she might see again. One chap kept putting his hands on my hips, but I didn't care for him. All stayed over at my house. We didn't get to sleep until 4.30am great fun.

LOVE LIFE
Rob didn't phone, 1st March. Then on 3rd March Rob and I went to see a play, George and Margaret' at the Oldham Coliseum. On the way home we had a row. It turned out that Dave's (Julie's ex) sister had seen us at the Cat's Whiskers last night and told Dave and Rob. And so I finished with Rob, more or less. He was very upset. I was very upset that I had upset someone so much.
March 5th Rob phoned to ask me to school dance. He bought tickets for us. (this is a cliffhanger - as I write this I don't know what will happen next!!!).
March 9th, school dance, held at Chaddy Grammar, I was horrid to Rob, Ju and Dave had a big row, we all finshed our relationships and I stayed over at Ju's. I regretted the unfreindly ending to the relationahip, but was glad it was over.
Started dreaming of Jerry who I met at Butlins last year.
March 17th, returned Rob's record player. He was very cold. He said 'thanks. Ta-ra'

FAMILY
Norma home from uni. Had her hair cut and I thought it loooked nice.
On a sunny Sunday dad and I went out driving in the car. He liked to see if we could spot any horse manure on the streets, so we could shovel it up into a bucket and put it on the garden. (You have to bear in mind we lived in a town with lots of terraced streets, few green bits and few trees. Our garden was probably about 24 square foot in total. Finding a pile of steaming horse-poo was a treat!)
Mum was upset because I wrote a letter to Norma and never mentioned mum once.
Auntie Emma visited.
Loved it when Norma came home from university to see us.
We all put a bet on the Grand National. I didn;t win anything.
Went to town and got flowers for mum, for mothers day.
Had row with Norma.

SCHOOL
Too much homework from Miss Hatch. Too much homeowrk from all teachers. Working solidly each evenng. Crying about it.
We got our 'O' level timetables.
Mr Higgins the music teacher discussed Gormenghast with me, but he didn't finish it. Didn't like it.
I got a slide-rule to do my calculations on and started to learn to use it.
Ju and I got told off by a prefect for talking in assembly
A day off for speech day..
Chose HG Wells as my topic for Russian 'O' level prep.
Teachers played 6th form at hockey - fun to watch.

POLITICAL AND SOCIAL COMMENT
8th March "My God!! Today about 7 car bombs were planted in front of nearly every important building in London. 2 went off. Injured 180 people and a man was kiled. IRA believed to be responsible. They're lunatics!"

MOOD AND HEALTH
Sad, depressed, fed up.
9th March I had nearly a perfect day, I claim. Weather nice, teachers nice, good school report.
New brace from dentist.
Later in month, hated life, hated the world, bored. Nothing in my life but homework. Mum and dad said I looked ill. I wondered if I had tonsilitis.
Crying over a Russian translation which was taking me too long. Too hard. Dad told me to stop, but scared of Miss Hatch.
Great wopping spot on chin, which I later described as a boil.
Then developed lump on neck.
Spurts of happiness occasionally.

OTHER
Early March was lovely and sunny and it lifted everyone's spirits.

My secret diary 1973 - a quick catch up for Jan and Feb

Dear Reader
Oh dear, oh dear. I have not reported on my secret diary since 20th Jan 1973. It's just like back in my real diary-keeping days, when I used to miss entries, making feeble excuses.

So, I have a plan, to try to get up to the end of March 1973 before March 2012 ends.
My plan is this - I will do a thematic summary of everything that happened to me from Jan 20th to March 31st 1973. Then I will get back to reporting verbatin again (well, that's what I'm promising, anyway!).


Thematic summary begins here:-


MOOD & HEALTH
Very depressed in January, while revising. I wanted to step off the planet and I thought I was cracking up.
February - crying before school because of Russian lessons. (did other people feel like this?). Moody, tearful, upset. (is it just that I only reported these emotions to my diary?)

POLITICAL VIEWS & COMMENT
Jan 23rd - peace in Vietnam announced by President Nixon. I described it as 'one star in the dark night of exams' :-/
end of Jan I comment that there is still fighting going on, so still not real peace.
February 'what am I going to do about vivisection?' I ask myself.

SCHOOL
In January I was finding it very hard revising for mock 'O' levels. I described the exams as 'not bad', 'terrible', 'not very delightful'. Russian was particularly terrifying because of my fear of Miss Hatch. I was reading Northanger Abbey and Macbeth for English.
Exam results come in and they don't seem too bad, but I usually comment that I could have done better.
Careers talk at school, but I don't name my aspirations.
School report not bad.
Too much Russian homework. I hate Miss Hatch.

FRIENDS
Julie and I virtually living at each others houses - we were always staying over with each other.
February - for some reason Ju and I did a shift working at Ju's dad's wood factory one Sunday morning.
S made me a T shirt with a picture of Snoopy on it. Miss Hatch picked on E, not me, for a change.
A bunch of us went to The Parochial Youth Club and one of my pals entered th talent competition, singing 'The Universal Soldier' and she won. We all had a great time dancing.
Decided not to write to French pen-friend again, because she never replies.

FAMILY
In January Norma brought her friend Kanchan, who was Kenyan, home from university to stay with us. It was exotic to have someone foreign to stay.
February - Dad had his car stolen from outside the house.
Niggly with mum.
Very worried that I owe dad £2 and Norma £1 and mum's birthday coming up.
Mum and dad both poorly.
Norma home from uni, and then went back.
Dad got flashy new car. We went in it to see Auntie Emma, in Sheffield. I loved driving over the snowy moors.
Mum's birthday. I got her some chocolates, but I was moody with her. I was in a bad mood because of Russian (and because I was a sulky teenager).
Dad's stolen car was found in Darlington.

LOVE LIFE
In January Rob wants to spend more time with me and I want my time to revise.
February - Folk nights at the Manchester Sports and Social Guild with Rob, Julie and Dave. We saw Martin Carthy on Feb 17th.
Rob and Dave went a week without phoning us and we started to panic and wonder whether to phone them.
Then they phoned. Then Ju told me she had finished with Dave. I was worried by this.
We both exchanged Valentine's cards with our respective boyfriends. I thought Rob's was too serious.
I lusted after James Taylor.
Decide I want to finish with Rob and keep writing about it.
Had a big row with him on the phone because I wouldn't go to see the film 'Woodstock' with him, because I had no money, and I said that I didn;t want him always paying for me. He put his mum on the phone to persuade me. Then my dad had a go at me about it, and said I was being horrible to Rob.
Another day, on phone to Rob for an hour, and it sounds like I was rude to him and sulky.
Rob had a party. Big Disaster. Ju and Dave had a row. I took her for a walk to calm her down. I thought Rob's friend, Keith, might fancy me.
Ju finished with Dave officially.



LEISURE LIFE
January - none!
February - me, Ju and some other pals celebrated end of exams by going dancing. I lied to Rob to get that night free.
Saw 'The Dambusters' and thought it was a great film.
Reading Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake. 'Terrific'. Then reading the second book, 'Gormenghast'
Bit of crochet.
United won!
A lot of going up town shopping.
Saw Fairport Convention on telly - great!

OTHER THINGS
It snowed a lot in February. Then one day I noted the hail, rain and snow all day.

My secret diary 1973 January (ii) Working too hard and dilemmas of romance

Dear Reader - these are edited extracts from my secret teenage diary 1973

Jan 11 (Thur)
Cold and v tired. !st Russian lesson of the year today - not bad. Revising hard. Rob phoned. He was bored.

jan 12
Friday, Friday! Work is getting on top of me. work all the time. Carol lent me her 'Spinners' LP. Nice.

Jan 13
Didn't do much revision. Went up town with Norma. Load of shopping and trapsing round. After went to a party with Rob, Ju and Dave and everyone (Ollie, Brin etc) It was quite good (at least there were girls there). I walked Rob to the top of Oxford St.

Jan 14
Ran Norma down to Birmingham. She sits her finals soon. I hope she does well. I've done a beautiful job of self-control tonight. I was going to phone Rob when mum and dad had gone out and ask him to come round, but I didn't. I revised.

Jan 15
Sometimes I want to say I hate school but I can't because my dad is paying so much for me to go to school. Bloody mock O levels start on 24th Jan. Rob phones every night now. Ju had a row with her dad.

Jan 16
Tired. Miss Hatch actually smiled at me today.

Jan 17
Me and Ju have a problem. Dave and Rob want us to go to the Manchester Sports Guild fold club on Sat, but E is having a party! Ju had row with Dave

Jan 18
Oh Gosh. S was upset because she thinks her dad has heart trouble. He has seen the same doctor that my dad saw. Dr Janus. V good. Told Rob I'm not going out on Sat night - I'm revising.

Jan 19
I'm tired. I have to revise this weekend. What to do about Saturday night?

Jan 20
Did quite a lot of chemistry revision. Ju stayed over. we invited Rob and Dave over for the evening. Wasn't bad really. I was a bit depressed. Snowed hard.

My secret diary 1973 January (i) Joining the EEC, learning how to sell cigarettes and pondering love

Dear reader. I have a sore neck and so I can only use the computer minimally at the moment. BUT - I do so want to get the January 1973 of my secret diary written up before the end of January 2012. Here than are the edited highlights from the first week or so.
16 year old, working hard at school, living with mum and dad, sister at university. Best friends with Julie and going out with first serious boyfriend, who I am worried about.

Edited highlights.
Jan 1st (Mon)
Hello 1973! Feel like crying. Mum and Norma teasing me about Rob. I wish they'd stop. Going to pictures with him tonight. Britain joined the EEC today, along with Eire and Denmark. 9 altogether. GOOD.

Jan 2nd
Sat writing this by candlelight. Why? because I feel like it! Went to see Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with Rob. He's getting too serious.

Jan 3rd
Uncle Joe died just before the New Year. I didn't know him very well. There's only Fred, Emma, May, mum and Elsie left now. Don't mean to sound morbid.

Jan 4th
Went to town with Ju. Bought nail varnish and some dye for Norma. Auntie Emma came to stay (for the funeral)

Jan 5th
Today was Uncle Joe's funeral. I met my Uncle Fred for the first time. He seems nice enough but dad can't stand him Don't know why. We had Elsie, Vincent and Caroline for tea. They're all pretty nice. Rob called on his way to Brin's and asked to borrow Melanie.

Jan 6th
Bit of revision. Tonight went to Manchester Sports Guild with Rob, Ju and Dave. It was great - a folk-club-type thing. We saw Mary Asquith and the Taverners. On the train on the way home . . .*

Jan 7th
Ju stayed over and we did a lot of revision all day.

Jan 8th
Oh no - back to school on Wed. Done hardly any revision! Went to Dad's works to learn how to operate the cigarette till. Oh it's frightening!! My tooth thing that I wear a night broke, so dentist tomorrow.

Jan 9
Revised all day expect for watching TV and going to Manchester to see dentist. I don't have to wear the elastic things any more. Going to a party at Tony's next Saturday.

Jan 10
Oh back to Bloomin' school! Carried tons of books in. We didn't have Russian because it was first lesson and we had to choose monitresses. Mrs Stanton was a bit nasty. It was okay. I hope I'm not falling in love with Rob. At least getting a bit affectionate towards him.

*Commentary
Jan 6th - and then I write something secret using Russian letters, half of which I don't understand, but I can make out that it was to do with canoodling on the train. Some things must remain secret.

Alice Munro - Just abandoned reading . . . .

The View from Castle Rock by Alice Munro


5/10


Sorry - this book was recommended by a facebook friend when I was looking for Canadian authors to read, but I can't finish it. This is more my inadequacy that Alice Munro's.
She has given me such a fantastic insight into what life must have been like for the early migrants to America and Canada - how they established themselves, and the challenges they faced (and, I suppose, the different challenges of the next few generations). But I kept thinking 'what is the story here?'. I just want a novel to tell me a story, and this was more like short stories, along the theme of her family. It is an admirable book, and if I were reading it on holiday, uninterrupted by real life, I think I might appreciate it better. I don't really do short stories.