My secret teenage diary 1973 December (iii) - treating the house like a hotel

December 22nd (Sat)
Worked at Hardcastle's. Nowt exciting happened. Eccentric woman came in. Me and Geoff went to the George. After went to his house.

Dec 23rd
Didn't do much during the day really. Geoff phoned me in the morning. I'm going to stay over at their house on 28th. Went to club with Ju (committee meeting). Me and Ju got invited (by Russell and a Geoff) to go to the Brown Cow.

Dec 24th (Mon) 
I worked int he morning for 3 hours then went in town with Norma. Got mum a jumper, dad a (...?..), Norma a bra, pendant and book, Julie a ring and Omen perfume. Had to hurry after to get to Rochdale for 6.45. Went out with Geoff's family and some friends, who I don't like very much.

Dec 25th
Yuk. Christmas day. Has always been a disappointment. This year has proved no exception. In fact me and Norma were both in tears this morning. Dad was ill with ulcer and in a bad, nasty mood. Poor Ju hasn't got a dad. Got Monty Python book from Norma. Nice pressies. Went to party at Geoff's. All drunk.It was quite a good party. Even I got a bit tipsy. *

Dec 26th
Spent all today at Geoff's. Kept wanting to kiss him. We watched some telly and all played Cluedo. Went home on the bus. I'm getting very fond of Geoff.

Dec 27th (Thur)
Got home ok last night (obviously - I said that to fill space). Today has been a good day for getting lectures. Got one from dad for going out too much and one from Norma that I use the house like a hotel. Maybe it's because everyone always argues at home.

December 28th
In morning went to meet Ju in town at 10am, she arrived at 11 and I was annoyed, but calmed down a bit. * I went to Tiffany's at night with Geoff. Wore my new maxi. NICE. I think I'm falling in love.

December 29th (Sat)
Working at Hardcastles. Nothing fantastic. Miss Hood got on my nerves - it's a long story - about bread and Auntie Martha. C kept going on at me to go to Olly's party tomorrow night. I'm not going. Went out with Geoff.

December 30th
Ju went to Olly's party last night. I saw Bryn on the bus. Tonight was awful. Went to Ju's Auntie Margaret's birthday party. Ju was upset by a record that reminded her of her dad. We were really late. I cried.

December 31st
Last day of '73. A funny mixed-up year. In extremes, a good and bad year personally. Good holiday in Spain. Good 'O' level results, good relationship with Geoff. But so bad that Ju's dad died, bad that my dad's had a bad time with his ulcer and I feel uneasy about my family and me.

*Commentary
Dec 25th - Then I wrote something in Russian, which I can no longer translate - probably for the best.
Dec 28th - wrote something in Russian again, which is a mystery to me now.

A reflection
Two things I'm going to note  here, as my 57 year old self looking back at my 17 year old self.
1) Now, looking back, I wonder what it would have been like to have mixed with more teens from my age group at school (eg, I should have gone to Olly's party - should I?), instead of latching onto a steady dating relationship with Geoff, who was about 4 years older than me. I'll mention here, reader, that I went on to marry Geoff 5 years later, though we later divorced.
2) I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable about transcribing my diary for public consumption. I want to continue doing it, to see how honest I can be, and because I know that I have people across the world who are still reading the blog. However, I do edit bits out occasionally and increasingly, because they feel too personal, or because it is someone else's business that I am protecting. Also, I have a feeling that my 17 year old self keeping a diary is less interesting than my 14 year old self, who used to write about friendships  school, relatives, moon landings and discovering music in an innocent way. I only have one more year of my 5 year diary left to transcribe - let's see how we do.

Colm Toibin - just finished reading

The Testament of Mary by Colm Toibin

7/10


I didn't really want to read a depressing book leading up to Christmas, but my other half had this out of the library, and it is only 100 pages, so I snuck it in.
A short novella, written in the voice of Mary, mother of Jesus, in the period leading up to his crucifixion. I'm not a religious person, and so am probably not as familiar with the stories of the miracles and the trial and crucifixion of Jesus as many people are, so this was an interesting book - especially since it gave a different perspective. But Mary's voice sounded, to me, cold  - almost frozen - and maybe that is what it would be like, having gone through what she went through. It gives the impression of someone who would have much, much rather have had a normal son, than a son who seemed to be leading a group of misfits and rebels, and who came to such an awful end. She is faced with a miserable life hounded by those who want to chronicle the life and death of Jesus. She understands that they will only write down the version that they prefer, to create the story and the myth that will found Christianity.
I read it quickly. It didn't make me cry. I couldn't empathise with Mary because of her woodenness.
Toibin's book 'Brooklyn' moved me much more. This gets a high score because it is a significant task to attempt, and he writes so well.

I looked at the reviews of this on Amazon and they are amazingly polarised into those who hated it and those who thought it was magnificent. It's worth reading the reviews just because of this. religion gets people heated, in one way or another.

Jane Austen - just finished reading

Persuasion - Jane Austen

8.5/10


My lovely sister bought me a beautifully bound set of Jane Austen's novels for my birthday. I've read them all before, of course - at first reluctantly at school, and then more willingly since then. In fact - this time I wasn't reluctant, nor just willing - I was eager!

I can't give Persuasion 10/10 because I find the heroine, Anne Elliot, a bit of a prissy, pining missy, who never really seems to get round to doing anything. She just watches and waits for things to happen to her. She gets her man in the end though. Yet we know that Jane Austen can create more pro-active, interesting women like Fanny Morland and Elizabeth Bennett, and the other Bennett sisters, so she loses marks for Ms Elliot.

But it was a page-turner, and every sentence says so much in a Jane Austen novel, and we learn so much about society then and now so it gets a high score.

I do wish she was around to write some more books for me.

Pamela Evans - just finished reading

Star Quality by Pamela Evans (audio book)

3/10


Oh, c'mon! Jackie - why did you listen to this  book right to the very end?! I'm sorry - this is the kind of easy listening I tend to do in the car, but, oh, what is there to be gained in reading a book like this? Except it made me laugh sometimes.
Tess and Max have a long term love for each other thwarted by his music career, the war, her husband, his wife, her daughter, her conscience and pathetic-ness (possibly no such word). But it's all alright in the end.
The bits that made me laugh out loud were the author's need to describe soft furnishings, in great detail, in the middle of high drama. For example (I'm making this up, it is an illustration):-

'She entered the apartment, knowing that this was the moment when she would have to confront him about his relationship with her 20 year old beautiful but wilful daughter, Judy. She looked around, admiring the contemporary furnishings, the sage green sofa and wide-armed expensive armchairs, all with modern, spindly legs. They toned in well with the rust-coloured carpet which provided a perfect setting for cosy open fire. She threw her gloves onto the tasteful, low, formica topped coffee table and glared at him.

"you rat!" she said
"it's you! Why are you here?" he said
"I want to know what your intentions are, towards my innocent daughter." she said.
"I thought you loved me!" she said as she felt his mellow brown eyes melting her heart and weakening her knees. Again.


Do you know? I've really enjoyed writing that. Maybe I should take up writing novels?

Sandor Marai - just finished reading

Embers by Sandor Marai

7.5 / 10


A book in which nothing happens, but everything happens, in an evening by the fire in a castle. I  have never read a book like it. One big event has its massive repercussions and is reviewed and reflected on by two old men, 41 years later. It is an intense conversation, which takes us deep into human feelings and relationships. There is suspense. We don't know how it will end........

My secret teenage diary 1973 December (ii) - getting Christmassy and a customer relations issue at work.

11th December (Tues)
What shall I get everyone for Xmas? I've got to get Geoff one too. Did I tell you that dad gave me £20 to buy clothes with?! Well he did. It shocked me too. He brought home 2 selection boxes, too. Ju phoned - disco's off tomorrow - angry.

12th December 
Okay day. Nice morning - took Christmas post round*. In affy helped with junior party - very tiring. Got big chemistry test tomorrow. Don't know anything. Miss Rogerson in General lesson brought Oldham Tinkers records, biccys etc, coffee - great.

13th Dec
Had a rotten chem test in morning. In afternoon helped to organise the Estcourt Christmas party games and watched UIV's panto (...illegible..) It's good. I still haven't told (asked) dad about staying at Geoff's on Christmas night. Was supposed to go out with Geoff but it was too windy and rainy (he phoned).

14th December (Fri)
A lazy day. Saw panto - again. It really is good. Also been trying to see Miss Crabtree about raffling box of chocs that dad brought home. Went to Tiffany's with Geoff. Went for short walk afterwards.  Didn't X me goodnight. Worried.

15th December
Working at Hardcastles again. Silly old cow of a woman was rotten and nearly made me cry. She said she'd come back during the week when there was an older person on.* Geoff phoned just like  he said he would. I thought he might not. Went to a pub in Heywood and then back to his house. Nice mmmmm

16th December (Sun)
Didn't get up till 12.00! Norma's home. Did I tell you about her leg? Doctor said she's got arthritis in her hip joint and she may have to have a massive operation one day. Poor ol' Norma. Went to club in evening.

17th December
Normal day at school. Nothing spectacular. Delivered Christmas post and Miss Rogerson gave us a card and a poem. She's lovely. We had a big feast at dinner time - everyone brought different things. We're going down Manchester shopping tomorrow and I'm reading in Assembly tomorrow.

18th December (Tues)
I read in morning in assembly. It wasn't too bad. After it was Carol Service and then we got the afternoon off. We went to Manchester, first just Ju and me and then we met E and S. I got a new pair of shoes £6 from Ravel. Hope they're ok - v. high* Phoned Geoff up, asked about disco, he said no, he is saving his £s.

19th December
Had last day at school. Ok. Not very (...??) I'm very glad I go to Hulme though. Yes I am. In afternoon went into Oldham shopping for Xmas. Nowt spectacular. Then disco at Royton club. Organised by us. Wasn't a failure. Nor a success.

20th December (Thur)
In morning got up late. In afternoon went round Makro with Ju and her mum. Bought Geoffrey a lighter £2.15. Would have been £2.95 in a shop. Pretty  good. It's a very cheap place. Been making lots of arrangements about party tomorrow  night.

21st December
Did nothing in morning. Oh yes I did. Went into town by myself then with Norma to get mum's present, then with Ju to get other things. Got mum a jumper between us. Got Norma a bra, pendant and book (Spike milligan). Went to party at S's. Not v good really.

*Commentary
Dec 12 - I think this refers to an internal mail system we had at school.
Dec 15 - I still remember this incident very clearly. I can remember what she was like, and how imperious and impatient she was. She wanted to be treated like royalty. It was only my second week, and I couldn't find the stockings that she wanted amongst the massive stock in all the boxes and shelves and drawers. I vowed that I would never treat a shop assistant like she treated me - and I know I never have done.
Dec 18th - I remember these shoes - they were gorgeous! Black, chunky high heel and a bar across.

My secret teenage diary 1973 December (i) - in which I try to identify love, and sell some stockings and tights.

December 1st (Sat)
Don't laugh or cringe or anything but I think I'm in love with Geoff. Seriously. Tonight me and him went to Baileys - I paid. Ju and S went too. While there, after we kissed, I didn't come out of it feeling all happy and smiley, I felt stricken and I just went all quiet*. He met mum and dad today.

December 2nd
Thinking a lot about Geoffrey. Norma is home. Went to Ju's and to social club. Chris was there. He says he's finished with girls. Seemed more friendly. Then we went to S's to rehearse Cinderella - panto.

Dec 3rd (Mon)
Ju not at school. I stil think I'm in love with Geoff, you know. I'm worried. I'm not getting on with my work very well. I ought to buck up - but I've got  no will power, just love. Weather's a bit better (it's been snowing and freezing so far)

Dec 4th
Oh, I'm so confused. there seems to be so much worrying me. Julie has been off school again. I phoned up and she said that Chris and Pete had resigned from the committee and John Higgins booked DJ for 12th.

Dec 5th (Wed)
Rotten day at school. S in a bad mood, me in a mood and Julie still away. Actually I phoned her and she said she's coming tomorrow. Also Chris and Pete planning for under 18s. Went to panto rehearsal. C says she thinks Brian fancies me.

Dec 6th
Oh! I feel really annoyed and depressed. I haven't had a minute to myself recently. After school (Ju here) a man lectured on energy + then I went to Ju's for committee meeting. Okay. Not too bad. Having 2 discos.

Dec 7th (Fri)
After school (haven't much to say about school - nothing good ever happens) went out with Geoff. Went to ??? in Heywood. I love Geoff.

Dec 8th (Sat)
Worked at Hardcastle's** during day. Okay. Met a lot of new people, although none of them dead great. I'm selling tights and stockings. I got £1.98 wage, so that's not bad. After, me and C went to be in panto at S's thing. Cinderella. At old folks' party. Ok. Some people forgot their lines tho'.

Dec 9th (Sun)
During day tried to do some homework. Didn't get on too well. After went to Julie's and Royton Club committee meeting. Having do on wed. Steve making posters.

Dec 10th
Upsetting day for S. There was a joint meeting between girls' 6th form and boys' committee. While we were away someone (it was XX) wrote 'Adolph S's surname' on the blackboard. S was upset. Geoff phoned and suggested I go to his house for Xmas.


*Rambling Commentary
I'm struggling with this a bit. It feels very personal. Even the bits that are disguised because I wrote them in Russian seem to give a lot away about the personal life of the 17 year old Jackie. Am I betraying her privacy? Perhaps more importantly, am I betraying the privacy of Geoff, who (I assume) does not know that I am writing about him?
These are moral dilemmas which create a tension with my wish / compulsion to transcribe the diary as fully and honestly as possible. Why do I want to do this? Because it is an interesting exercise and experiment in which I explore the young me and expose her to myself and others.
Am I pursuing what might be morally wrong, in order to explore and experiment? It's an age old ethical dilemma for scientists :-/
How far can I go? Will there come a point when I decide to stop for ethical reasons (as opposed to laziness)?

**Focused commentary
Dec 8 - Hardcastle's was a refined ladies' department store in Oldham. On the ground floor, as you went in, there was a glass-fronted island counter which was the stockings and tights counter. A lady called Miss Hood was in charge. I was the Saturday girl and there was one other full-timer who told funny stories and got into trouble with Miss Hood.. We sold 15, 20, 30, 40 denier stockings and tights. Names trot though my head - Charnos, Wolsey, Aristoc. American Tan, Mink, Nearly Nude, Barely Black. We sold silk and Lisle stockings. We sold with and without seams. Pretty Polly Hold-ups. We were opposite the gloves and handkerchief counter. Ladies fashions were upstairs, and school uniforms were too. There was one of those old fashioned lifts - you had to pull the metal gate closed and then turn the handle to activate the lift.

My secret teenage diary 1973 November (iv) - Elton John and a bit more Geoffrey

November 24th (Sat)
Not a dead exciting day (except for seeing Geoff at night). Went into town with Ju and got Carol a birthday pressy. Went to Heywood with Geoffrey and met mum, dad and sister again. Got in at 1.45am. Mum and dad got in at 2.15am!

Nov 25th
Got up late and tired after last night. Did homework, but not enough. Went to Royton Club to discuss disco that we're organising. Chris was there with girl. Disco is on!

Nov 26th (Mon)
Very, very tired at school. S resat Chemistry 'o'. Poor thing. You know, I like Geoff a lot. Been in a bad mood 'cos tired. Going to bed. Money problems.

Nov 27th
Not much to say. Had a lot of homework. Going to see Elton John on Friday with Carol + Ju + L - I'm not going to tell Geoff about it, I don't think.

Nov 28th
Not much to say again. Norma phoned. Did I tell you there's something wrong with her hip - she's been for an X-ray. Keep thinking about Geoff - I know I shouldn't - I'm sure he doesn't think about me all the time (I hope he doesn't really)

Nov 29th (Thur)
In bad mood all day, but went to Belle Vue with C, Ju and L to see Elton John - great!!! Great music, 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Rd'!.*

Nov 30th
I think I might be a bit boring, but I've just been out with Geoffrey .... (2 lines in Russian) Ouch, I've got ulcers on my tongue  We went to Tiffany's. At school today had a joint meeting with boys - sixth form committee - Q good - we decided to do a revue*.


*Commentary
Nov 29 - I still have the ticket stub for this concert in my diary - it was £1.65 - i think that Carol's mum and dad treated us all, though, for Carol's birthday
Nov 30 - so many parallels with my current life! Here I am having joint meetings with 'old boys' from our school, planning a reunion, and also planning a christmas revue at work. The patterns and occupations of my youth persist.

My secret diary 1973 November (iii) - Julie is breaking her heart, I'm not disclosing secrets.

November 17th (Sat)
Spent today not doing much really. Norma home. Good. I phoned Geoff at 5.30. Went out with him tonight. Went to a pub in Heywood and I met his mum and dad. Nice (Like him) We went back to his house (mum and dad in)

Nov 18th
Highlight of day - I beat Norma at a game of chess - she resigned and then I went out with Geoffrey again. Went to a pub called The Fusilier for about one and a half hours ........................... *

Nov 19th (Mon)
I'm writing this on Tuesday. Can't remember much. Computer course today.

Nov 20th
Rotten day today and everyone in bad mood. Julie didn't come to school this morning and then she turned up after dinner breaking her heart. It's so impossible - you don't know what to do! She's having terrible problems* .... She cheered up a bit after a while and we went to the film society - Elvira Madigan - nice.

Nov 21st (Wed)
Another rotten day again. Julie has been all upset and no-one knows how to handle it. Miss Rogerson had a word with her. Oh, I hope she's okay, I don't know what to do.

Nov 22nd
Ju seemed a lot better today. I think several teachers chatted to her yesterday, so she's beginning to buck up with her work. Oh, had canelone for tea tonight. It's called lasagne, but in Spain it was called canelone. Phoned Geoffrey. Going out tomorrow.

Nov 23rd (Fri)
Ok day at school. Nowt spectacular (is there ever?). I went to Baileys with Geoffrey Bobbles BonBon ..................*


*Commentary
Nov 18 - the dots signify that I wrote 4 lines in Russian after this. This was a sure way of protecting my privacy. So sure that my 57 year old me can't even read it. Perhaps it's as well. A teenager needs some secrets, even 40 years on. Interestingly, my middle-aged me is growing concerned that this romance is going to distract me from my school-work - my A levels - my mum and dad sacrificed so much for me to go to that school. Though the sacrifice was never discussed at the time.
Nov 20 - not to be expanded on here - I'm not the only teenager that deserves privacy
Nov 23 - 4 more lines in Russian.

Wilkie Collins - just abandoned

The Dead Secret by Wilkie Collins

3/10


Life is too short to listen to a book that takes about 30 mins of listening to cover very little.  I must have read Wilkie Collins before - surely? What about the Woman in White? Don't know - I have seen the film and I do like a good ghost story.
But this was boring, and I though the was trying to do witty character descriptions in the style of Charles Dickens, but couldn't carry it off. So I'll never know what the terrible secret was, that the terrified servant hid in a locked place in the dusty old Myrtle Room, many years ago.
If someone has read this, please tell me what the secret was.

No more Wilkie for me.

Jennifer Clement - just finished reading

The Poison that Fascinates by Jennifer Clements

8/10


I read this book in three days. This is because it is short, it is written in short, easy to read chapters, and it has a precisely written, no-excess storyline, which you have to turn the pages of. It is a page-turner, but it is a well-written and meaningful book about families and relationships, love and loss. It is also a book about famous, real-life female murderers.

Emily is part of the British community in Mexico City. She only has a father and we don't really know why she no longer has a mother. Her family sponsors an orphanage, which Emily visits a lot. Her cousin, Santiago, comes to visit.

Excellent. I need to read more of this woman's books.

Niall Williams - just finished reading

Four Letters of Love by Niall Williams

8/10


I nearly gave up with this - so slow moving and requiring me to work to engage with the language - but, Jackie! What did you expect? I had read another book by this author - 'As it is in heaven' and it was similar in that a beautiful use of language crafts a slow story which has depth and an intricacy of emotions.

The title provides a red herring. I thought I should count the letters of love, but then comes the ending - and it is all revealed. Sorry - this isn't a book review, it is a meandering.

Nicolas and Isabel have their stories told in parallel. Their stories are very Irish, and we are steeped in the culture and the scenery. And then they meet ....

Niall Williams is a skilful writer, and writes beautiful books, but leaves me wanting to read something easier next time.

Anna May Mangan - just finished reading

Me and Mine by Anna May Mangan (audio)

6/10


This is a book about an Irish immigrant family who came over to England in the 1950s, written from the perspective of one of the daughters in the present day.

What I got out of it was that I learnt more about a migrant's life, and what it was like to be treated with such cruel and bigoted racism (lodging houses would have a sign in their windows - 'no blacks, no dogs, no Irish'). These Irish immigrants had come to try to make a better life and were met by rudeness,  irrational fears and rumours, and systematic discrimination.
It's actually a book written with humour and a lot of affection, and is also a story about the way that cancer runs in families.
Phew.

An Aga Saga - just finished reading.

A Family Affair by - no idea (audio)

4/10


I picked this CD set up from the library, where there is a very limited choice. It looked suitably brainless for driving up and down the motorway, and so it was.

It was an Aga-saga! But not as endearing as those that Joanne Trollope writes (though I seem to recall that I have said I wouldn't read her again)
There must be thousands of books like this out there - well-to-do middle-class family (I mean really middle-class, not aspiring professionals - these were posh) has family business ('Victoriana') selling romantic dresses to other slightly less posh people. Business hits a crisis; mum is ill, one of the 3 off-spring has to take over and run it - who will it be? Will it be the flighty actress that mum has never loved? Will it be the ruthless ambitious no-heart city man and his even worse scheming wife? Or will it be the perfect housewife, who is bored with keeping her husband and teenage brats happy and well-fed?

Well, you'll never know, unless you read it.
I have given it 4 / 10 because I stuck with it to the end. I tend to give lower marks when I give up at page 20.

CDs don't have pages.

xx

My secret diary 1973 November (ii) The Cat's Whiskers and the Bolton Octagon

November 9th (Fri)
Went to Tiffany's with Geoff again. Oh I like him.The trouble is, I get bored with one lad, but I feel guilty saying that when I like Geoff a lot. He wrinkles his nose up like a rabbit when he's laughing. Yum Yum. School normal. S's boyfriend has a rare disease.

Nov 10th (Sat)
Did hardly anything all day. Went into town with mum. Did a bit of homework (got a lot to do really). Geoff phone dup - he came with me, Ju and Carol to club tonight and Chris was there chatting Julie up. I'm glad she told me - I really like Geoff. He's nice, but we won't last long, will we?

Nov 11th
Geoff phoned again. I hope it means he likes me and I like him. Been doing homework all day Might be going to charity (oxfam) dance on Tuesday at Cat's Whiskers. Geoff's coming. I'm buying tickets. Ju's been ill today - por thing. Chris looked nice last night - black shirt. But Geoff's character is nicer.

Nov 12th (Mon)
Not done much. Going to Whisker's tomorrow with Ju, Carol, Geoff, (illegible). Have you noticed my pen's running out? It's an Oxfam dance. I thought I'd buy the tickets for a change. Ju not at school today. S is depressed because of her boyfriend (he's v ill) Oh well. Went to computer course again.

Nov 13th
Ok day at school - Tues afternoon is always fun 'cos we just have double games which we skive off anyway*. (Illegible) ... Julie and E away today - we phoned them up and they said they weren't coming to the Whiskers tonight. I went with Geoff, Carol and C.

Nov 14th
Had day off school today as Princess Anne is marrying Mark Phillips. Guess whose telly broke down so they couldn't watch it? Anyway, me and Julie went down Manchester 'Xmas shopping'. Didn't buy anything. Saw some Snoopy cards and books in Kendals. Got a free sample of scent 'Cachet'.

Nov 15th (Thur)
Brrrr I'm not writing much - i'm cold and tired. Went to Barry Aron's* today. Go again in a month. Geoff did phone. Whippee.

Nov 16th
Silly old day. Was in bad mood this morning and then to cap it all the sixth form committee arranged to meet some boys from next door* in Thorneycroft. We more or less got in trouble for that from Miss Powell. This evening went to Bolton Octagon Theatre with our form and Miss Rogerson to see 'All my Sons' by Arthur Miller.* Good.

*Commentary
Nov 13 - we had a small library room at school that no-one used, so a few of us used to hide in there and gossip and laugh. Our PE teacher, Miss Ashton, memorably wrote on my school report that year 'Jacqueline is showing promise at squash'. We didn't play squash! She was being sarcastic (I now realise)
Nov 15 - orthodontist
Nov 16 - next door was the boys' school. We had very little contact with the boys before 6th form, and then not much. Thorneycroft was an old house which had a shared 6th form facility, but, I think, not at this point in time. We are now season ticket holder sat the Bolton Octagon, where the director, David Thacker, has a great love of Arthur Miller plays. Things come round full circle. I have the ticket stub for this event in my diary. It cost 30p.

My secret diary 1973 November (i) Boy trouble resolves plus Speech Day.

Nov 1st (Thurs)
Oh, I definitely like Geoff more than Chris, but the problem is, how much does Geoff like me? Should I risk chucking Chris and carrying on with Geoff? Phoned him up but didn't have a very long conversation. I'm going out with him tomorrow night. Oh, problems, problems.

Nov 2nd
Went in town with Julie this morning. Changed Spanish currency and applied for job with Christmas post. did some of pantomime and had a laugh. Went out with Geoff to Tiffany's. Oh, lovely. Ju and S were there, too.

Nov 3rd (Sat)
Spent today doing nothing. Taught Norma how to play chess. She beat me first go! Went out with Geoff. Actually, I felt guilty because I had arranged to see Chris. E asked me to bonfire and Ju phoned up. Aren't I popular?! I met Geoff's friend, Ivan and brothers. I like Geoff.

Nov 4th
Oh blow! School tomorrow. Geoff asked me to phone him again. I wish I could talk it all over with Ju. I will do tomorrow. Had electricity off yesterday and today. Okay now. Ju says that she saw Chris last night and he said he doesn't want to see me again, which is a relief. He says he's in love with Janice. Awww.

Nov 5th (Mon)
Whippee! Good ol' school. Who am I kidding? A very tiring day in which I went on about Geoff a bit. In evening after computers went to Ju's to help with bonfire but Catholic Club Chris was there with a girl. I wouldn't have minded but he wasn't talking to me. I suddenly want him! (Stupid). Got Norma's birthday pressy (from her to me) - a beautiful silver ring and a motif to sew on jeans. Beautiful ring.

Nov 6th
Brrrr. I'm freezing => not writing much. Did some more pantomime at school. I like Geoff. I do. I want a new coat (and biro). Bye Bye.

Nov 7th*
Did hardly anything this morning then this afternoon had a speech day practice. Speech Day tomorrow. I go on stage for prize.  I phoned Geoff, made date for Friday. (Hard to read next because of faint pencil)

Nov 8th
Speech Day. Had normal day at school. Had afternoon off so Ju and i went up town where I put a jacket by at C&As, £3 - it's gorgeous. Trouble is, it's red, like Norma's. Got 'O' level certificate at Speech Day. Martha Ann Greaves Award for 5 Grade 1s - £6.75p Ok Yeah!

*Commentary
Nov 7th* written in pencil - clearly the biro ran out :-)

My secret diary 1973 October (iv) - enjoying a bit of male attention

Oct 25th (Thur)
Julie's Mick came up from Surrey - so she was excited and I feel a bit neglected again - it's jealousy, I think. Washed hair 'cos S phoned last night, going to Tiffany's with her tomorrow, also meeting that bloke on Saturday, Chris B. We're writing a pantomime.

Oct 26th
Oh boy, have I got a lot to tell you! Well, we broke up at dinnertime. I went up town and then at night me, Ju, Mick and S went to Rochdale Tiffany's  I met a bloke called Jeff - boy was he nice - blond* with a 'tash - Monty Python, Chess, Folk music - great. But what about Chris tomorrow?

Oct 27th (Sat)
Oh boy - slept over at S's last night - at midday went home and then we went to JP's wedding - she was late! (not her fault). I phoned Jeff and made a date for Sunday - ye gods - tomorrow! Meanwhile I met Chris and we (Ju, Mic, Chris and me) went to the wedding disco. Chris said I was beautiful etc. Nice.

Oct 28th (Sun)
It can't be love - can it? I went out with Jeff after a very boring and depressing day. Oh it was lovely - went to 2 pubs - felt a bit uncomfy but afterwards  - oh he's lovely. Got my sense of humour. He's 20 years old. He paid for a taxi for me, all the way home. Mmmmm.

Oct 29th
Oh, I keep thinking about Geoff. Chris phoned last night while I was out. Mum just said I was out. He went to the club and Ju and Mick said that I was at my sister's. Went into town to get dad a pressy for his birthday tomorrow, but didn't get one. What can I buy him?! I like Geoff. I keep teasing mum about his padded shoulders and shifty eyes. He said I had a nice smile (Ju once said that 'people have got to be nice to get what they want'). Is it true in this case?

Oct 30th (Tues)
I was very much in demand on the phone today. Originally I got up 'cos Sd phoned about Biol. Then I phoned Ju. Then dinner. Then I started to tidy room but Carol, Chris and Sd phoned. On half term hols. Not getting far with room. Mick home today. Seeing Chris tomorrow night.

Oct 31st
Went in town with ju in morning, she came for dinner then tea and then I went out with Chris at night. Right laugh. In Royton. Only about 3 people - went for walk. ***

*Commentary
Oct 26th - wasn't blond - was ginger in daylight!
Oct 31st - these asterisks indicate that I wrote something using Russian alphabet letters next. I can't make it out now, but was clearly top secret that I wouldn't want mum to read if she came across my diary. I don't think it was more than a snog :-)

Kate Grenville - Just finished reading

Lilian's Story by Kate Grenville

6/10


I have really enjoyed other books by Kate Grenville - The Secret River, The Idea of Perfection. This one wasn't as immediately rewarding, but nonetheless it is an interesting book, which draws you into the inner world of a woman who is not living a 'normal' life. Kate Grenville must have researched the background to the book well because as I travelled through Lilian's life with her, I was reminded of some of the women I met on long stay psychiatric wards, back in the 1980s. In fact, Lilian could have based on one particular woman, who was plump, wore bizarre clothes, outspoken, articulate, unafraid and had lived an interesting, if odd, life. Both Lilian and the woman I worked with seemed to have disordered thinking - maybe delusional, or maybe just approaching life and its problems and pain differently from the rest of us.

I ended up caring about Lilian and wanting no harm to come to her - she was living on the streets and growing old. She seemed well able to look after herself, though.

When I look it up, it seems that this was Kate Grenville's first novel, whilst the others I have read came much later. You can see how her writing has changed.

Hilary Mantel - Just finished reading

Giving up the Ghost by Hilary Mantel (audio book)

7/10



Without a doubt Hilary Mantel is one of the great British living writers. I think this because of Wolf Hall and Bring up the Bodies, and also because of the range and richness of her other writings such as Fludd and Beyond Black. I'm not sure that the stories always completely satisfy me, but her writing and her imagination are superb.

This  book is autobiographical. It is approached in a disjointed and unexpected way. She immerses us in her childhood and also in her illnesses and treatments and hospitalisations. I'm not sure I wanted to be depressed like this, but it is valuable for any of us (especially those who work in it) to understand the experience of illness and health 'care' and how wrong and distressing it can all be.

Because the book dragged me down in mood, I might have given it a lower mark. I gave it 7, though, because of one moment. I was listening to the book as I drove into work. I have (you'll be glad to know) one part of my brain on the traffic and the driving and one part on the book. Suddenly, because of Hilary Mantel's skill at evoking atmosphere, I was back in my childhood home, very young, sitting on the moquette settee feeling comfortable, smelling onions cooking for mum's cheese and onion pie, and watching the dust-motes floating in the sunlight streaming through the window. Hilary Mantel took me there - not to a memory of an event, or a memory of doing something, but to a moment of just being me, as a child. Wow! Absolute respect to this woman.

My teenage diary 1973 October (iii) a short-lived feeling of happiness

Oct 16th  (Tues)
Okay day at school. After school, film society film - Killer - not as good as 'Lovely War'. Got sort of chatted up on the way home by 6th form boy - I'd swear he's on drugs or something. Don't know much about him though. Ju sounds better.

Oct 17th
Ju not at school. Miss Crabtree told the LVI prefects that 6 girls would have to give charity talks in assembly  Don't really fancy it. Reading a lovely book recommended by S. Snowflake by Paul Gallicoe - children's story - beautiful.

Oct 18th
Good Grief, it's freezing and it's my birthday next Wed. Ju told me - I didn't realise it was soon. Ju not at school - what should I do? Doing charity appeals soon at school. I'm writing one. AW is reading it. Help help.

Oct 19th (Fri)
Heeee - how nice. I'm sat in my bedroom with a glass of milk and a biscuit and even though it's cold, I'm happy. Oh Damn - but am I happy? I feel all tensed up and nervous. I can't keep still sometimes. Norma's home. I'm really glad. I love my big sister. I love my mum and I love my dad. I love Lady too. Don't die.

Oct 20th (Sat)
Nice day in a way. Went into town with Julie. Got new school cardigan. Went to club at night. There I found out that one of the waiters finds me 'very attractive'. This lad called Chris asked me to dance - it's wonderful for the ego! Wants to see me again, next week.

Oct 21st
Slept at Ju's last night. Today went to Lancaster with Norma 'cos she was moving out of present room to a bed-sit. Felt really envious of her - wish I could be independent and free, too. In 2 years me and Ju and 2 others will have a really big holiday - yes!

Oct 22nd
Birthday soon, gee whizz - 17 years! Told Chris I was 17. Don't know what to do about him. He's 18 or 19. Ju's Mick is coming down for weekend so with a bit of luck (I'll need it) we'll be a foursome at the club but I don't know.

Oct 23rd (Tues)
Poor old Miss Rogerson's* house was burgled yesterday, so she was telling us about it today. Poor thing. Also sixth form meeting formed 'LVIth committee' - me on it! We thought of putting on a pantomime at Xmas for a hospital or something.

Oct 24th
What a damn rotten, miserable birthday - no, I don't mean to sound so grotty but Norma didn't send me a card, Julie didn't come to school 'cos she had pains again. Oh, E got me some Aqua Citra Bath Oil. I got a card from S and after school Ju came round and gave me a Snoopy poster, toy car and chess set.


*Commentary
Oct 23rd - Miss Rogerson was our form mistress and chemistry teacher.

A post from my grown-up me.

This is not from the teenage diary.

What I have learned in the last three months.

1. The sun is not a friend  it is an enemy and getting a tan is a sign that your skin is trying to protect itself against further damage. I knew that really, I am a bore with my factor 20 sun-cream. But there is knowing, and there is knowing.
2. It is always worth going to the doctor with a mole that has changed shape or looks odd.
3. I never thought that I would see the words 'malignant' or 'prognosis' in a letter about me. These words overshadowed all the other words in the letter and stopped me seeing them. I have been around enough to know what they can mean in real human terms.
4. Having flesh cut out of your leg (two times!!) doesn't hurt, with enough local anaesthetic. 
5. The word 'malignant' is enough to stop you being able to give blood. My blood is not as valuable / good as it once was.
6. Things sometimes turn out okay in the end, as the brown envelope that arrived in the post this morning told me.
7. The National Health Service is a great institution that we should protect.

My secret diary 1973 (October ii) - mill chimneys and news from an ex.

Oct 10 (Wed)
Not much to say. behind with diary a bit. V.v. cold suddenly. Julie off school, got tummy ache and scabs on face.

Oct 11
Again, v little to say. Julie is away again. Doctor gave her Roter tablets like my dad has for his ulcer and said she may have impetigo.

Oct 12
Fun at school when S told some UVs* not to eat in school uniform. Gave them both essays. Some smart Alec in the government announced that Oldham is the drabbest, dullest, dirtiest town in England. How dare he call my home town? I love it and its chimneys*.

Oct 13 (Sat)
I got a letter from - guess who? - Rob!* It really annoyed me, telling me about university and girls etc. Went to town with Ju and she came to my house for dinner and I went to her house for tea. Went for a chat round at CR's, with G and H*, who I can't stand. Ok day.

Oct 14
You know, I really hate Sundays, partly 'cos it's so boring and partly 'cos I usually save all my homework for then - which is a bit thick. I won't next weekend. Mum was depressed, so was I. At least Norma was in a better mood. Ju said last week that a waiter at the club was mad about me.

Oct 15 (Mon)
Oh, so worried about Julie. I think she might have stomach ulcers - doctor's given her Roter tablets. She was away today, violent pains in her stomach. I went to blasted computer course - which I don't like much. Not much else to say.

*Commentary
Oct 12 - UV - the Upper fifth - these were the year below us - the 16 year olds. As sixth formers now, we had some duties involving controlling, herding and reprimanding everyone else. It was not easy!
Oct 12 - for those reading this who don't know Oldham, in 1973 the town still had many tall and imposing cotton mill chimneys dominating its skyline.

I was brought up living next door to the 'Daisy' mill and was used to seeing great huge baskets being hoisted up and down, loaded and unloaded with raw cotton and newly spun cotton. My mum and all her sisters worked in the mills, in mysterious rooms called the carding rooms or the spinning rooms or doubling rooms. Words like winding, doubling, reels, bales and shoddy were part of the everyday language of my streets. We played hop scotch with the round ends of cotton bobbins. Most of the mill chimneys have been demolished now. It may have been a drab and dirty town then, but when I revisit it now, I find its heart and soul have been ripped out by town planners, who really have never known how to reconstruct a community broken when its main industry died.
Oct 13 - ex boyfriend
Oct 13 - I tend to substitute random initials for names, except for Carol and Julie, who don't mind being named!

My secret diary 1973 October (i) Computers, posters and trying to help my friend

Oct 1st (Mon)
Highly exciting day ending with computer course at tech. I'm beginning to regret having gone.

Oct 2nd
Ju was away yesterday, but here today, although ill. E was away today & yesterday. We're doing up our cloakroom with posters and things - looks okay. Saw film 'Oh What a Lovely War!' (film theatre) Very good. World War One. Sarcastic. funny.

Oct 3rd
Julie away from school. Teachers concerned I think. I phoned her and she said her mum was collecting the photos. Whippee!!

Oct 4th (Thurs)
The holiday photos that is. They're okay. We've got Valentino and his pals on them. Also some Surrey lads (Gary Glitter). Oh + Sara + Sian - oh it was such fun, and such a lot has happened since .. I do wish that we could go there again next year - but what can we do now? It's all changed. Went to Oldham Rep. Ten Little Niggers*, with Norma.

Oct 5th
Ju's a lot better. Not much to write - school's pretty normal. V hard work. Messed around with microscope a while, got a few good clear cells (this at home). Work's getting on top of me really - Ju's mum phoned and asked me if I could get her to go out a bit more.

Oct 6th (Sat)
Today I went in town, eyed up some jeans, bought a poster for 20p - so did Julie and went to show girls in inside market and they asked for 3. Bloke on stall let us have them for 10p. Went to Royton Club after. I didn't want to in case Jerry was there, He wasn't, but came later with girl!

Oct 7th
Hmwk in morning and we drove Norma to Morecambe in affy. She's lodging there while going to Lancaster College*. Felt envious of her. I am bored, I am bored, I am bored (to the tune of 'Frere Jacques')

Oct 8th (Mon)
Suddenly bogged down with work. I'm in a bad mood with everyone, especially mum it seems. Went to computer course. Big war between Israel and Egypt - I wish they'd stop it. Going to Plough on Friday. I wish I could be a Buddhist.

Oct 9th
Ju upset today because Miss Roker told her off about her dad's ring that she was wearing. She cried 'cos she was reminded, I think and S didn't help - kept ging on about it. Golly, it's my birthday soon and I don't feel a bit cheerful. Went to help with coffee evening at (.........)* Felt ridiculous amid fur coats and floppy hats.

*Commentary
Oct 4th - To edit and not use offensive language? Or to stay true to the zeitgeist of 1973?
Oct 7th - Norma had started at teacher training college.
Oct 9th - can't read this - what a shame! I would love to have known what it was.

My secret diary 1973 September (iv) - a funeral and musing on religion

Sept 27th (Thurs)
Even less to say  than yest. Mr H's funeral tomorrow. Ju going. She'll be so upset, and Mrs H too. Got microscope mended. Lower sixth sending flowers and we are too (mum, dad and me).

Sept 28th
Ju didn't come to school today. It was her dad's funeral. - I haven't heard from her. Didn't expect to. We sent dome flowers. I keep wanting to cry for all of them. They'll be okay, won't they? Wondering whether to send her the James Taylor card* 'You've got a friend'. School is v hard work. I'm tired all the time.

Sept 29th (Sat)
Not a tremendously exciting day.
Taking an interest in Buddhism. V interesting and nice. Done no homework. Phoned Ju.

Sept 30th
Didn't do half as much work as I should have done. Wish I could have a new character - I'd love to be a Buddhist. Hmm can you imagine me in a witness box swearing a Buddhist oath? It'd mean more than a Christian one to me. Blasphemy! Poor ol' Julie, I guess I'm lucky in a way.

*Commentary
Sept 28 - Julie had given me this for my birthday the previous year. We still have it. It has crossed between us at times when reaching out has been needed.

My secret diary 1973 September (iii) - a terrible time

Sept 21st (Fri)
Today informed that 4 of us get cheques on Speech day for getting 5 or more 1s in 'O' levels - chuff chuff. Annoyed 'cos ju said she's phone me last night and she didn't.

Sept 22nd (Sat)*
Oh my god. Ju's grandma phoned this morning - I wondered what was happening - Ju told me - her dad, Mr H, has died. Julie's dad. What can I do? They think it was a heart attack - I'm so worried for her. I'm so afraid. What can I do? Went to the Indian evening in aid of Oxfam. Dad said I should occupy myself.

Sept 23rd
Oh Jesus Christ. I feel like crying. I phoned Julie up today to see how she was and if she wanted anything. She asked me if I wanted to go to cousin J's party and help. Oh and her mum kept crying and julie did. And R was so quiet. And he's only 6 and he's got to be brought up. He sat out of all the games. He was very quiet and J kept talking.

Sept 24th (Mon)
I'm so tired and so selfish. I always seem to be thinking of me and not Julie. She came to school today and wasn't too bad, but Miss Hatch upset her so much, I felt like crying for her. Poor Julie. I'm going to see Hatch tomorrow. Dad says I should, so does S. Julie hasn't got a dog to say silly things to and I have.

Sept 25th
Ju didn't come to school today - I didn't see Miss Hatch. I saw Miss Rogerson instead - she's v nice. She mentioned it to Hatch, who hadn't seen the notice about it in the staff room. Hatch was upset and nearly crying. Been an altogether depressing day. Everyone sad. No-one happy. So quiet.

Sept 26th (Wed)
I'm very tired. There's nothing to say. Ju at school today, Miss Hatch okay. I keep feeling like I want to cry at silly things.


*Note
Sept 22 - I have only been able to transcribe these parts of my diary because Julie has given me permission to do so.

My secret diary 1973 September (ii) - birthdays and bad tempers

Sept 8th (Sat) 
Went into town with dad and Norma. Got new school skirt and also rubber gloves for chemistry. Norma got a cassette recorder and some rollers. OK day. Ju phoned and suggested going to Royton Club. It was a boring couple singing and then Jerry came over to chat Julie up.

Sept 9th
Been in a rotten mood all day. Slept over at Ju's last night and came all the way home with no shoes on. Auntie May visited - ok. I think I've become more restless since the holiday. I wish I could go back to that campsite again, to Franz and Simple Simon. I'm in love with Jean-Pierre. No kidding.

Sept 10th
Well. School  might be harder work in the sixth form, but it's not as frightening now we don't have Miss Hatch. Went up town after school to look for pressy for Norma, met Norma, put an end to pressy search!! Not much to write. Oh - S is not coming back to school because of her 'O' levels. I wish she were.

Sept 11th (Tue)
Not much to write and anyway I don't feel like writing. Went swimming (at school). Had a double art lesson. OK at school except F is hanging about a bit and she is irritating me.

Sept 12th
After school went into town with Ju to get Norma's present. Got her a Melanie cassette (Candles in the Rain), a paint box and sketch pad. I'm v tired.

Sept 13th
Norma's b'day. She was pleased with pressy. Mum was getting at Kate for some reason (Kate couldn't afford pressy yet) Doing a lot of work at school. Seem to be permanently tired. Me and Ju and S and C are going to dance at the Plough on Saturday I think. Goodnight. Peace and Happiness.

Sept 14th (Fri)
Very tired, but made a prefect at school, so it made up for it I guess. Nearly lost my other contact lens in assembly (got replacement yesterday). S volunteered me to give a talk on Hinduism in R.I. Good grief!! I'm tired, I'm tired, so much work to do.

Sept 15th
Spent day doing homework and going up town with mum. At night me and Ju and R, F and C went to new disco called 'Looking Glass' at Plough Inn. It was really well done up inside - like Alice in Wonderland - music grotty - all Tamla - After I slept over at Ju's. A bit annoyed because she wouldn't stay over here.

Sept 16th (Sun)
We spent a while at Ju's eating and faffing then we set off late for Carol's - she'd invited us for tea. Really good time - listening to records etc, talking. It was fun. Really interesting. I like C.

Sept 17th
Don't feel like taking. too tired. Going on course about computers* I think. Nowt else to say. Bye.

Sept 18th
I think I'm going to cry, don't kno why. Just feel depressed, sick and tired. Keep getting a headache. While on holiday we heard that big fun complex on Isle of White, 'Summerland' burnt down. 49 killed. 3 10 year old kids have been fined £3 each for breaking in.

Sept 19th (Wed)
Been in a rotten stinking mood all day, feel a bit better now. Not much to say. Being a prefect hasn't done much yet. Dum de dum de dum.

Sept 20th
After school went to visit old infant headmistress, Mrs Harrison - good to see her. was surprised to find that she went to Hulme as well. She taught Miss Ashton. She's lovely still. I remember her giving me a prize and smelling of apple pie.

There is Mrs Harrison on the right of this photo. She was married to the other teacher, Mr Harrison. This was infant school, 1966. I'm on the second row, third from the right, with the fetching bow in my hair.


*Commentary
Sept 17 - When I say I am going on a computer course here, bear in mind this is 1973, when computers were big enough to occupy whole rooms, like wardrobes lining the walls. Dad was very keen that I went on this - which was a special course for those doing maths 'A' level, and it was with boy sixth formers! Dad thought that the future was computers and learning Russian. He was not far off the mark. The course was learning to programme using Fortran. is this computer language still about? I don't know. I came away with ticker tape and clueless. This is my memory of it. We'll see what I say about it in my diary entry.

My secret diary 1973 September (i) Paris, then the chemistry lab

Sept 1st (Sat)
In Paris by about 11 o'clock. We did a bit of fussing and faffing and by 2pm we were on metro. I liked going underground to the Champs Elysee and we walked up. Shoes £32! Dresses £132!! Saw Arc dr Triomphe and grave of unknown warrior  Lovely. Got permanent fire. Also Tour Eiffel and we met 3 French blokes.

Sept 2
After Paris last night we drove to Calais and got a ferry at about 10.30am. Not much to say - had a rough crossing. I like ferries but felt a bit sick. Drove all way up to home. Glad to be home. I love my family. Julie got all her 'O' levels. Good, good, good.

Sept 3 (Mon)
Very boring and depressing day. I wish I were back in Spain at Camping Giverola Pola. Simple Simon. Oh God I'm in love with someone I'll never see again! S failed her chem, poor thing. E's done well gor 4 grade 1s.

Sept 4th
Done hardly owt today. Went to dentist (Mr Aron) in afternoon and he gave me a new brace. Coming back I saw a hippy type playing guitar outside of cathedral. I wanted to join him but I'm a coward - it's got to change. I walked from the station in bare feet.

Sept 5th
Went to visit Ju this morning. Had dinner there (her ear's bad). After went to laundry to visit them*. Then up town - new pair of school shoes. 6th former tomorrow - how about that? Saw C in town. Got 7 'O' levels. I'm glad for her.

Sept 6th (Thur)
Well. Went back to school. In sixth form now.Miss Rogerson is form mistress in chem lab. Doing Maths, Biol and Chem for 'A' level'. D only got 4 'O' levels - she's not coming back. IP got 7 grade 1s, C got 4 grade 1s, SP got 6 grade 1s, K got 5 like me*. Great to see everyone again.

Sept 7th
Another mucked up day. Miss Crabtree* still hasn't sorted our timetables out and so Ju doesn't know what she's doing, neither does S. Went to ??, the jewellers about a job that Stella promised me - nothing doing. Stella left. Annoyed. Posted letter to Sian and Sarah.

*Commentary
Sept 5 - Ju and I worked in the hospital laundry to raise money to go on holiday - it was hot, hard work - respect to those who did it full time.
Sept 6 - sometimes I claim not to be a competitive person, but clearly this is a weighing up of everyone and comparing them to my performance. My grown up me is a little embarrassed with my teenage me. Maybe I'm still like that. Oh dear.
Sept 7 - Miss Crabtree was our headmistress. She was a bit like the Queen. Sian and Sarah were girls we had met on holiday in Spain.

My secret diary 1973 August (iii) - new pals, 'O' level results and trouble with boys

Hello
it's been a whole year since I transcribed any of my diary entries from my teenage years. Sorry about that. Life sometimes gets in the way of blogging. Anyway, I find myself now transcribing the diary a nice round 40 years in the future. I pick up where I left off. I am on holiday in Spain with my best pal Julie and her family. I was desperate for a love affair. Julie gives her permission for me to reproduce all this.

August 20 (Mon)
Julie spent day with Mike and I tagged on behind. Had canelone for dinner and wine. At night I wore orange nightie-dress and felt elegant. Met Belgian lad and arranged to meet him at 2pm tomorrow.

August 21
Feel very, very annoyed with Ju. Spent morning mucking about the caravan. In afternoon I went to tell the Belgian boys not going. Ju and Mike came. Watched tennis. I went for dinner on my own! We were going to Tossa in evening. Italian fellas.

August 22
Ju's dad and Uncle Alan came home. Ju spent day with Mike. He's nice but I guess I'm jealous. We made friends with English girls  Suzanne and Sara. Went up to the disco late - some French people had party and they were all dressed up! Went for midnight swim.

August 23 (Thurs)
Ju went to Tossa with Mike. I went swimming with Suzanne - out to the rocks. Weather cooler. Beautiful. Solitary etc. Proud of myself. Actually had quite a nice day. Went out at night and met Rudi Bavarian and friends again. Ok.

August 24
no entry

August 25 (Sat)
Went into Tossa with Rudi, Klaus, French Jackie etc. Had a lovely time. Looked around shops and generally mucked about then went for a meal and I drank out of one of those Spanish things. I was drunk. Good time.

August 26
Today we met 4 weird English blokes. me, Ju and sara went to have a 'party' with them on the beach, but we couldn't stay long. One of them was stone drunk. Next day (Mon) Sara went home and after so did the 4 blokes. They came to beach to say bye bye. (Here I inserted an extra small sheet) We saw Jonathan  Alan, Pete and Tony off. They've got a wonderful railway ticket - cost £33 but takes them around Europe for a month (if under 21). They hitched it away from camp. they were really nice, weird blokes (about 17 or 18, at school).

August 27 (Mon)
Must say having beautiful weather in sunny Spain! Just had another bloomin' storm!! The awning is constantly flooded!! It makes the water mucky, too. All our friends have gone home now, except a few. Germans and English. Oh! Simple Simon!*

August 28
Dull weather in morning but brightened up later on. We went to sunbathe and there was another thunderstorm. Went to caravan and had letter from Norma - contained 'O' level results. Oh! I didn't want to open them. I was so nervous! Would you believe it?!

I got 8!! 5 grade 1s and 3 grade 3s! (Here I added in an extra small sheet of paper) Oh, I'm so happy - 8 'O' levels - it's a beautiful feeling - we went round telling everyone on the camp - even foreigners. We told Gerard (Rudi's German friend) - and he was so pleased for me - (he told me I was so kleine for such grosse results!!). Me and Ju bought some champagne - oh and I was crying, then we went out and sat with English and Germans - 3 glasses of ber and the Germans bought us some wine. We met more English - stayed out till 1.45am. Ju's dad was v. angry.

August 29
Storms, storms and storms again. Sorry, can't remember very well. Oh! at night me and Ju had another 'last night' bloody Spaniards kept pestering us, so we ran down. Ju's dad grabbed one of them and started thumping them - I was frightened. Polizia came too! Oh Good grief!

August 30 (Thur)
Spent day packing. Glad we're going because it would be embarrassing to see the Spaniards again after last night. Said goodbye to everyone, got them to sign a bottle, drank wine on beach.

Goodbye to Sara, Sian and Mark. Set off. Slept in car at night.

August 31
Still travelling. Very little to write because spent all day travelling through France. Made it to about 20 miles out of Paris by nightfall. There were some rows and tempers.

*Commentary
Aug 27 - Simple Simon was a nickname I had given to a French Boy that I was admiring from afar and had convinced myself i was in love with. Thin, long-haired, guitar-playing.