My secret diary July 1973 (iii) Dover, Calais, France and Spain

July 27th (Fri)
Went to Barry Aron's - new brace, only have to wear this at night lot of sewing. Pack tomorrow.

July 28th
At last set off! Quite exciting! Finished dresses in morning. Ok. Set off about 11 o'clock (pm) - late. Me and Ju, Ju's mum and dad, Richard in one car. Uncle Alan, Margaret, Jacqueline and Alison and Kathy in the other + caravan + trailer. Turned back to Ju's twice to get things that had been forgotten (Ju and I kept laughing). Drove through night.

July 29th (Sun)
Crossed over from Dover to Calais. Beautiful standing on front of boat with breeze and sea - early morning. Spent day driving through France. Lovely. Stopped for tea every now and then

July 30th
Still driving through France - behind with diary so can't remember details. stopped at various parking places etc - I like France but the people didn't seem friendly (remember woman in toilets!!). Slept night at place with no loos.

July 31st
Crossed France/Spain border. Stopped in cafe. Nice friendly waiters etc. Tried Sangria - drink made of red wine, cognac and fruit. Gorgeous!. Arrived at Camping Giverola Pola. Put caravan on plot 27 because arrived a day early. We all went out. I got tipsy off sangria and whisky

My secret diary 1973 July (ii) A lot of sewing going on.

July 16th
No entry

July 17th (Tue)
Don't feel like writing today. Went to see Fantasia - Walt Disney and symphonies - beautiful. Julie couldn't come.

July 18th
Broke up from school. Went to Tiffany's in Rochdale* with Ju, Suzanne, Cn and 2 others. Q good. Not enough fellas. Very, very, very tired.

July 19th (Thur)
Are me and Ju falling out of friendship? Went up town with mum. Bought some best pants - blue from C&A. Got passport. Da-da!!

July 20th
Thank Snoopy I've got somewhere to retreat to when mum gets on my nerves. If I hear one more word of warning about Spain* and bloody Spaniards - I'll scream. What's wrong? Don't they trust me**? I'm sick. I'm worried that Ju and me won't get on. Bought some material today.

July 21st
Spent all day getting ready for hols - go on 28th. Been making blouse. Nearly finished. French have dropped a test nuclear bomb. Pigs.

July 22nd (Sun)
Nowt to sy but in a bad mood 'cos tired. Been sewing. Finished blouse. Onto a dress now.

July 23rd
Been sewing and shopping all day. Bye bye

July 24th
Been sewing all day and good news! I think me and Ju will be friends really. I hope so!!

July 25th (Wed)
Got lilo off Susan Greenwood for hols. Went shopping with S and Ju. Bought sandals and cardigan. White. Dinner at Julie's. Sewing. Peter Hadfield came. She's seeing him tonight. Ok.

July 25th 
Nothing much to say - again busy preparing for the holidays - a bit nervous, not excited.


*Commentary
July 18 - Tiffany's was a night club
July 20 - I don't think that my diary has previously mentioned that Ju and I were going on a big post-'O' level holiday, with Ju's mum and dad, her aunty and uncle and sister and brother and cousins. We were going camping in Spain, and I would be away from home for about a month! It was a fantastic opportunity for a holiday. I had never been abroad before. ** Poor mum. Like all mothers of teenagers she was trying to protect me by warning me of the dangers out there. Like all teenagers I thought I knew everything. Like all mums she only knew the bits about me that I allowed her to know. Like all teenagers I rejected the protection and advice that I clearly did need. Mum's warnings about Spanish men seemed a world apart from my close encounter with an English man the week before. I heeded the advice of Cathy and Claire in 'Jackie' magazine more than I listened to mum.

Kazuo Ishiguro - Just finished reading ....

Never Let Me Go (2010) by Kazuo Ishiguro


9.5/10

If you haven't read this book I think you should. On the face of it, it is about a slightly alternative world where some schools are set aside for the raising of a community of 'donors'. I don't want to give too much away, in case you read it, but these are special young people who will not live the same live as normal people. It is a slow book, and so I was frustrated sometimes, but I think it had to be slow because we had to immerse ourselves in their upbringing and their personalities and the minutiae of their daily lives - all the better to be hit by what their futures would be like.
I pondered such things as - do I like Ruth? What is it with Tommy? Do I like Kathy? Are these people normal - why can't I connect with them - is it the fault of the author, or is it the brilliance of the author?

The end is shocking. What is worse, I was shocked and saddened as I read the end of the book, because I thought I understood it. But the next day, as I was thinking about it, a wave of depression and despondency struck me, as I began to understand the bigger relevance of the book: its meaning for me and its implications about the meaning of life. At the most depressing moment of my thinking I had an insight that, perhaps, all our education, culture, friendships and sports etc, are just amusements to occupy us till we die. Puts a new perspective on being an occupational therapist.

Sorry - I am inclined towards a depressive way of thinking sometimes, so I am also skilled at shaking it off, switching on the positive thoughts and getting on with life. So - Kazuo - you had a big impact, but please don't do it again.

My secret diary 1973 July (i) Interesting times, but not at school.

July 1 - 3
No entries

July 4th (Wed)
Going to Baileys* tonight. From work* I went home to get a few things and then walked back to Ju's.
**see below

July 5th
Work is ok but boring. Very boring.

July 6th
Well, finished work at the hospital. Doris was sad to see us go I think. Don't think Emily was bothered.

July 7th (Sat)
Mum and dad were annoyed because of the time I arrived home last night (this morning). Went to town and bought a bikini. Went to Ju's at night because Norma's in Brum and mum and dad are going out.

July 8th
Behind with diary. Week before last Ju stayed here while ma and pa went away and week after I stayed at Ju's. Got £40 from hospital job. Back to school tomorrow. Worried in case M comes to our house.

July 9th (Mon)
Ah well, back at school. Done nothing all day, just being given books and mucking around. Miss Rogerson told us about film theatre - pretty good, yeah? Nervous about M. Got passport photos.

July 10th
Another tremendously exciting day at school. Done nowt. Except in Russian where we read poetry. Julie skived off school - just like that! Bored!! Oh, and saw swimming pool for the first time. Pretty nice*

July 11th (Wed)
Ye gods! another boring day at school - just nothing to say really. Ju went to see Ruth, student who we met at the hospital, last night. She's coming with us to the folk night on Thursday. Suzanne and Danielle (Belgian) are coming too.

July 12th
Another wonderful day at school! Would you believe there were 2 people in the geography lesson?! Russian was terrible. Miss Hatch is still rotten to us. Went to Royton Catholic Club with Ju and Ruth - it was an Irish night - pretty good.

July 13th
Arts Festival Day at school. Suzanne brought Danielle (Belgian girl) to school. She must think we're nuts - mannequin parades, discos, exhibitions of painting and models etc. She's a really nice person to get on with. Want to cry. Felt quiet and mum said I was being snobbish.

July 14th (Sat)
Went to degree ceremony at Brum University. Norma Taylor BSc. Boring but I felt so proud of my Norma. Met her Welsh friend Mags. Went to dance at Tame Valley Tennis Club. No good.

July 15th 
Ju and Suzanne slept last night. Came home at midnight. This morning me and Norma went to a warehouse to look at record-players for £7 - had none in - go next week. Oh! What can I do to be independent? My family (except Norm and dog) get on my nerves.


*Commentary
July 4 - Baileys was a nightclub that had recently opened in Oldham. Julie and I both had jobs in the laundry at the main Oldham General Hospital for a week or two. Very hot, hard work, hard on the hands. I recall that we had to wear white cotton gloves to handle the hot sheets as they came through the pressing rollers, but they burnt through quickly.
July 10 - every pupil in the school had helped raise money for the building of this pool.

**Extra Different Commentary
Dear reader. 2 things of import happened on 4th July 1973.
(1) I had a letter from my ex-boyfriend Rob, asking me to go back with him. The letter is still tucked into my diary. I didn't go back to him.
(2) I got chatted up by an older man as I was walking down the road. This had very unpleasant consequences and ended up with me nearly being raped a few days later. I'm not going to transcribe the bits in the diary relating to it because I am very embarrassed at the naivety of my young self, and the lack of discrimination that I showed (I know I shouldn't be). Funnily, whether because of my age, or the era I lived in, I didn't recognise it as attempted rape at the time, in fact I seemed to have just carried on reporting normal things in my diary. That truth only occurred to me many years later when I was telling someone about it. And attempted rape it was, for sure.