My secret diary 1973 April (iii) - doing no revision and a new knick-knack shop

April 23rd (Mon)
Thank god today's gone without any disasters or anything. I was frightened. Been clearing kitchen and revising all day. I get so annoyed when people say me and Norma never do any work. What do they think we do at school then?

April 24th
Oh! School tomorrow. Don't feel like saying much. I'm tired. Auntie Emma's gone home. (She was staying). Listening to oldies on the radio. Started to make halter neck top. Very daring and quite disgusting really. I don't wear bra with it.

April 25th (Wed)
I don't think I fit into my family. Nobody's on the same wavelength as me.  They don't laugh when I laugh, cry when I cry. They're different. I don't fit in with anyone. If I never find anyone I'll have to be a loner.

April 26th
I felt quite happy for quite a long time today but now I feel sad again. Not for myself for a change but for Norma and mum. They keep arguing. Russian orals on 10th May.

April 27th (Fri)
Feel v v tired. Done hardly any revision today. Made new pencil case. Swimming pool's finished*. Mum is depressed but I feel a lot happier. Tomorrow I really settle down to revise. Got James Taylor poster off Sara.

April 28th
Done hardly any revision. Lady's looking beautiful today. She's on a diet. She's been chewing on a bone all day. Exciting discovery!! A shop has opened up near us as a sort of knick-knack shop, with beads and things*. Tired now. Good night. Happy days.

April 29th (Sun)
Took norma back to Brum. Last time we will be doing, I should think*. Oh gorgeous weather. Makes me feel so restless. I want to live in a room of my own with friends like Dinnsy and people*. I wish I was pretty like Norma. I hope she passes her exams.

April 30th
Horrid day! Bloody physics test! A section of last year's 'O' level. I felt so tired when I came home. Done no revision, just homework. I suddenly can't do my maths homework. I'm frightened. A pipe burst in the kitchen connected to the washing machine, and water squirted all over the ceiling like rain. So funny.*

*Commentary
April 27 - for years my school had interminable fund-raising events to build a swimming pool. I recall that we each had a card with a drawing of a brick wall on it, and we had to sell the bricks to friends and relatives. I can't recall swimming much in it, because by the time I got to 6th form I avoided anything sporty like the plague.
April 28th - it was a heavenly shop to my eyes. I can remember it now, with joss sticks and hippy beads and bangles.
April 29 - my big sister was just finishing her last year at university studying Nuclear Physics.(!!) Dinnsy and people were Norma's university friends
April 30 - bet mum didn't think so.

Went to see - The Winslow Boy

The Winslow Boy by Terence Rattigan at the Bolton Octagon


I think we are very lucky to have such a great theatre just a few miles down the road. We have had season tickets now for the last 3 or 4 years, and have enjoyed every season. David Thacker, the director, puts a fantastic programme together every year, with a mix of old favourites, classics, new plays and plays of local interest. Top class acting, good sets and top class directing.

Full of superlatives today; I think the Winslow Boy is a great play. It is about the degree to which people should be expected to give up their human rights for the greater good; it is about how far people should go to defend principles; it is about family relationships and the role of women in society. Phew.

Go and see it if you can. Let right be done.

Ben Elton - Just finished reading . . .

Chart-Throb by Ben Elton (audio-book)

6/10

Well, this is the first Ben Elton book that I've read. What a good bit of fun, that made me laugh in the car. It's all about a TV talent show like Britain's Got Talent (or whichever one has Simin Cowell on it). I don;t watch BGT or the X-factor, although I have peeped into them sometimes.
Ben Elton is ruthlessly cruel and cynical in his critique - he takes it to an extreme, but we have to ask ourselves about the extent to which the TV-watching audience get manipulated, and about the hopes and heartbreak going on in the background.
But all that sounds a bit smart-arse. It's a good comedy read. Full-stop.

A Russian connection?

How come I have had 20 pageviews from Russia in the last day?

My secret diary 1973 April (ii) - the problem of motivating 16 year olds to revise

April 13 (Fri)
Oh I feel dead funny. It's a mixture of being fed up, jealous and tired. Jealous? Yes - of Julie. 1st, she's started working in Asda and there are lots of girls there - she says they're nice. Also jealous of her because that chap fancied her last night (X). Went to dentist today (Mr Aron). Norma came. Also I got a watch from Green Shield stamps.! Timex.

April 14th
Boy do I feel jealous again! Ju said that she's met nice people at Asda (girls and fellas). Been helping dad fix up the new washer. Not done much revising really.

April 15th

I hate Sunday! Oh I just can't help it, everyone's depressed on Sunday, mostly mum, who cried a lot today, but now she's gone out with dad. We've tried the washer* and the blasted thing won't work. Done some biology revision. Awful day.

April 16th (Mon)
Gosh I'm really looking forward to that dance tomorrow (at the Royton Catholic Club). Me, Ju, RH, SO, C and (snag) C's friend N, who is only 13 years old! They say she is mature though. Done some physics revision. Put my hair in rollers tonight. Hope it's okay. Get sick of Norma teasing sometimes. I love my mum. Lady's poorly.

April 17th
Well, only done a little bit of revision. Seem to have been messing about a lot. The dance we went to wasn't too bad really!!!  - considering it was the first one. Hardly anyone turned up and us 6 were the only ones to dance half the night. N wasn't too bad - very mature (too mature!) but ok. I quite like C now. No terrif lads.

April 18
Spent half the day at Ju's wasting time but happy. Done revision this afternoon - I keep going into horrible depressed mood, where I want to be alone and away from Norma and mum. But I'm happy alone, don;t they understand?

April 19 (Thur)
Oh I don't feel like writing. Went to Ju's. Slept night. We went to folk night.

April 20th
Back to school soon!! Done hardly any revision. I'm frightened. Been wanting to cry all day. People think I'm hard and cold 'cos I don;t cry in front of them, but I break my heart when they're not there. Had row with Norma. Cried over film on telly about St Bernadette. Feel fed up.

April 21st (Sat)
A nothing day. Went to town with Norma and spent about 3 hours looking for material for her. Found only one that was nice. I'm doing yoga. Planning lots of things to make for holidays. I hope it doesn't become more important than 'O' levels for me. It won't. Dad's pinning his hopes on me I think.

April 22nd
Don't feel like writing anything today.


*Commentary
April 15 = prior to this we had a twin-tub washing machine. This was our first automatic, front-loader.

Something I marvel at...

I'm not sure who I write this blog for. Me probably! :-)
*but* I do get such a thrill that it is read by people all over the world. When I look at my viewing statistics I can see that my blog has been accessed by an audience from 10 different countries in the last 24 hours. So there are, for example, people in Ghana, Japan, India, Brazil, Ireland who know something about my life as a 16 year old schoolgirl. I wonder how it compares with their / your experiences.

Joseph O'Connor - Just finished reading....

The Salesman by Joseph O'Connor (audio-book in the car)

9/10

I forgot to mention this one which I listened to a week or so ago.
I have read 'Star of the Sea' by Joseph O'Connor and thought it was great, so when I saw this in the library I snatched it up to listen to on my way to and from work.
Not a car to listen to in busy traffic!! Be warned - there is a lot of violence in this. I don't read / listen to / watch violence if I can help it, so I nearly abandoned this book. Something about the narrator, and the actor reading the book kept me hooked, but I could only listen to it in 3 minute bursts, interspersed with a little light radio. Sometimes it was so awful I had to switch the player off in heavy traffic, where I had to concentrate.
It is a very, very moving story told as a diary that a man (The Salesman) writes for his daughter who is in a coma, having been raped and badly injured by a gang of thugs in a robbery. I'm not giving anything away - he searches out one of these guys in order to get some kind of justice for his daughter, but it becomes more complicated than you can imagine.
Glad I stuck with it through the violence. It merits a high mark for leaving me confused about relationships, thuggery and love.

Abandoned books, left, right and centre .......

Oh dear.
I have always been an avid reader. Now why have I lost the ability to concentrate on challenging books?

• Is it that I have my brain cluttered with other things?
• Is it because we have moved house recently and it is taking me a while to settle with the dust?
• Is it because, having got older, I am less likely to stick with books that aren't immediately and obviously rewarding (on the premise that life is too short)?
• Is it because I am not making space or time to read?

Having enjoyed AS Byatt's 'The Children's Book', I have just tried 'Possession' and got stuck in a tedious intellectual mire of 2 academics reading the letters of 2 Victorian poets. These were letters about religion, myth, poetry, philosophy. No, no, no, no .....

Having enjoyed several William Faulkner books (even 'The Sound and the Fury' which is notoriously challenging) I have abandoned 'The Reivers' because I just wasn't interested in the story getting off the ground.

Even my in-car audio reading is in a desperate state! I have abandoned a biography of Coco Chanel (what on earth made me pick it up in the first place?!) because I couldn't find myself interested in anything she thought or did.


So - I am currently listening to Ben Elton's 'Chart-Throb' in the car - am on the last CD, so will finish it and report back. Am reading this because it was the only audio-book in a recent visit to an Oxfam shop.

I have just started reading (real book not audio) a William Boyd - 'Restless' - because my other half rates William Boyd, and also because in a recent article in the Guardian Brenda Blethyn the actress chose William Boyd as one of her guests, along with Timothy & Mrs Spall and Charles Dickens, at an imaginary dinner party. I love Brenda as an actress but whether she can be relied on for author recommendations, I don't yet know. I'll let you know.

Niall Williams - Just finished reading............

As it is in Heaven by Niall Williams

7/10

This was lent to me by a friend, after I admired Colm Toibin's Brooklyn. Another elequent Irish writer, slow paced and skilled in savouring words and language.
It's a love story in more ways than one - the love of a man for a woman, the love of music, the love of a father for his son, the love of a man for his dead wife.
I got frustrated because it moved so slowly. I nearly abandoned it. In fact I did something very unusual for me - I peeped near the end of the book to see where it was going. I didn't abandon it, and I'm so glad I didn't because it becomes a compulsive story.
I thought I knew how it ended but the author packed a punch in that I hadn't seen coming despite my peeping.

I will read more of Niall Williams I expect.

My secret diary 1973 April - VAT, revision and beauty treatment

April 1 (Sun)
April Fool's Day (no jokes), Mothers Day (got mum some flowers. Proper pressy later). V.A.T. Day - new tax. I feel really tired all of a sudden. Done hardly any revision. Been doing homework and reading and sulking all day. Might cost £60 to go on holiday. Dad didn't seem too worried!!

April 2
You see nobody listens to what I have to say and then when they do listen I make a mess of it. It makes me feel insignificant. Maybe because I'm just another 'Unknown Citizen'. I'm so sad. Dad's been working solidly the last few days on VAT and he's ill with his ulcer. And he lost his temper with mum, and mum and Norma argued, and I shorted one of the main fuses and now the lights aren't working in the living room and I hate this house and I just feel like crying.

April 3
They're still not listening to me. Sometimes I say something and they just start talking about something else. They don't mean to, but one day I'm going to get so annoyed. Norma's given me a skirt (long black silky maxi with little white dots) - lovely. Music competition* at school - boring as usual. Started a wee bit of revision. I'm fed up. Keep getting a pain in my head.

April 4
Break up tomorrow for Easter hols - 'O' levels soon afterwards. Oh what's the matter with me? I feel like crying again. Dad's in a bad mood 'cos he's been working late - he takes it out on mum. TVs all wrong again.

April 5
Behind with diary. I've slept out at Ju's for 3 nights, or Ju's slept here. We went to Royton catholic Club Folk night - great, fell in love with a fella who looks like a french onion seller! He's only little like me - a singer. Dead good night - S.O came - we slept at Ju's.

April 6
Went home for dinner time, after going to dentist with Ju. Finished the beautiful black silky skirt with white spots that N gave me and we (me, J, S.O, C and a girl called Claire) went to the Whiskers and had a really great freak out. Dave's sister was there so were some of the girls from the shop.

April 7
Slept at Ju's last night and had a lovely lazy morning just dancing and being happy. After dinner went to Asda, where Ju's got a job (Sats). Went to see mum and dad who were looking at washers. In doing a good deed (carrying mum's shopping out), a horrid old man nearly arrested us for pilfering! He made me and Ju look stupid in front of the whole store but when mum came up with receipt he was ever so nice. Typical!

April 8 (Sun)
Ju slept last night. I feel like crying. Don't know why, it's silly really. You see we did some revision then we went to see the Oldham Tinkers at the Oldham Hotel* with Norma and K, but me and Ju left early, Ju to catch last bus and me 'cos I was tired and also wanted to catch last bus and not have to depend on N and K to pay a taxi for me. N and K fussed about it and didn't want me to go. It's made me feel uncomfy now. I'm tired.

April 9
Quite pleased with myself. Although I got up late I've done quite a bit of revision (physics, all electromag and a bit of magnetism). Not much else to say. Oh that goregeous Graham who worked at the Spar has gone and joined the army today (sob). Forgot to phone Ju.

April 10
Oh yawn, yawn, groan, groan. I'm really, really tired. Got up late this morning, started chemistry revision. After dinner went to visit SG but she was at school so came home and revised some more. Done quite a bit (1 1/2 books out of 6 1/2) Ju phoned and we made arrangements about Thursday. C isn;t coming. Goodnight.

April 11
Hardly anything to write. A lazy day really. Done some Russ vocab but that's all. Done a beauty treatment tonight. Washed hair (used vinegar, oil and perfume), steamed and cleansed face and done eyebrows (drastically). Going to folk club tomorrow night. I love everyone!


*Commentary
April 3 - my school had an annual music competition. I think that people could win points towards the inter-house competition, as well as prestige. I ddin't have a musical bone in my body, so never entered. I seem to recall that we had to sit on the floor in the main hall listening to endless renditions of 'The Ash Grove', 'Claire de Lune' and 'Greensleeves' on the piano or the recorder.
April 8 - this is (was?) a pub in Oldham. Did I tell you that my mum and dad first met there? It would have been shortly after the war and mum was attracted to dad partly because he had a watch and an overcoat, so she thought he must be well off.